Should I stay or go?

[Uptight_Geek]

It's a long story, but for the last two years I've been living far enough of a distance away from my girlfriend to make regular visits expensive and time consuming. Not that either of these are a factor that bothers me when it comes to her, but I've only got so much leave and so much money.

 

I moved down for my career at a point when our relationship had ended. However, before I moved away (it was initially for 6 months) we got back together and have been on/off since then.

 

From October of last year until July, things had been great all things considered. We'd been away a few times and I was able to visit for good chunks of time because I was able to work remotely.

 

We've never really discussed a solution. I wanted her to move down and she wanted me to move back up. It was a stalemate.

 

She broke things up a week after my last visit. It has been a couple of months now since we last spoke. I've tried everything I can... love letters, flowers, gifts to no avail. In the last letter I sent her, I said I'd move back once I got my bonus payment early next year (I'd need it to live on until I got another job), but I've still not heard back.

 

I am serious in my offer. Despite all our troubles, when we are together, things are great. After an hour or so getting used to each other again, the weeks and months of separation vanish.

 

With her not acknowledging me and this offer... I don't know if she's even read the letter. I don't know what she has been doing over the last few months - has she moved on? I'm more than happy to give up my career to be with her, but I need to know that there is at least a chance of that happening.

 

As I've been so focused on keeping us together for the last two years, I have pretty rubbish life. As I've spent a lot of time away I don't really have any friends, I've spent a fortune travelling to see her so I'm in a bit of debt and I pretty much hate my life at the moment. Even if she doesn't want me back, I need to leave this place. Although she never visited, I blame the job and place for all our hardships. I have a lot of self hate and hate for pretty much everyone around me at the moment.

[Thierro]

Sorry to hear that, Uptight.

 

First of all, the things between you and the girl are definitely over. No need for you to keep contacting her because that will only drive her further away. It’s also clear that she doesn’t respect your efforts at all.

 

Hating yourself and others isn’t going to help you and is counterproductive to say the least. Take responsibility for the debts you are in. How are you going to resolve this problem in the near future?