MikeyK Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 Hi all, I have a concern, as I am generally scared of people but once and a while I "forget" while talking to someone. I dont know what to make of this About a month ago I went to my old work at night(its opened 24/7) to visit old friends, they werent in and the cashier told me who I worked with but never talked to. I intended to talk to her for 5 minutes as I cant talk to girls but ended up talking to her for 3 or so hours. I never looked at the time or thought about who I was talking to, we were just talking. She was doing the majoirty of the talking with me inputting here and there. She said she dressed up as the devil or something for haloween and I said "How can you be the devil when your an an angel. Awe, look at me being so sweet" and other comments like that, I say the latter to keep safe, so I can be joking/not joking and I dont know how to flirt, I need help. I commented how she can look good wearing a horrible uniform while I need to wear nice shirts/pants to look ok. She was adjusting her top the majority of the time. I dont know what that means. She is around 23 while I am 19 After I left I doubted myself thinking I looked like a fool. I told one of my friends sister and she said I sounded like a dorky loser and she would have knocked me out for being a creep. Some other friends say that she is creeped out because I stayed there for hours. None of my friends have had any contact with her ever. I have low confidence/esteem etc and feel girls will laugh at me. I havent been back there since and that was my last real outside of work social contact. I fear people think I am a creep and such but Im not doing anything intentionally or with any intent to creep out people. What to make of this? How do I flirt? Was I really a creep? Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 I vote not a creep. You lingered for a long time but unless she gave you cues and prompts to shove off and unless you hovered or dogged her while she was trying to work, it should all be fine. You seem to be very concerned with what people think. Bear in mind that the people you are concerned with are not much more than post-adolescent and a lot of their jibes and prods are going to be childish. Growing up means breaking with all that and finding yourself as an individual with your own sense of values and priorities. I recommend that you continue to take some social risks and instead of concluding negatives, try to learn from each thing and get used to reading other older people who will not always tell you exactly what they are thinking or feeling. You'll develop "social skills" if you face these things and don't let a bunch of juveniles mess with your head. Buck up, lad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MikeyK Posted October 18, 2011 Author Share Posted October 18, 2011 Thanks, I dont think she was giving any hints to get me to leave. I helped her when she had customers or stepped aside until she finished. When she went out for a smoke she told me to join her. And when a customer gave her a reciept she crunched it up and threw it at me jokingly. When a worker got jealous because I know they love her, she said "haha your gonna get kicked" and sure enough they kicked me out and she was laughing. She added me on facebook/accepted my request not sure which one. I did have a lasp in judgement after this and sent her a message about if she noticed my teeth and got no reply but I dont think she goes on there alot. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 Thanks, I dont think she was giving any hints to get me to leave. I helped her when she had customers or stepped aside until she finished. When she went out for a smoke she told me to join her. And when a customer gave her a reciept she crunched it up and threw it at me jokingly. When a worker got jealous because I know they love her, she said "haha your gonna get kicked" and sure enough they kicked me out and she was laughing. She added me on facebook/accepted my request not sure which one. I did have a lasp in judgement after this and sent her a message about if she noticed my teeth and got no reply but I dont think she goes on there alot. Oh dude. You must know that that was an error. Women are attracted to men who make them feel comfortable with their confidence. Asking a question about your teeth or other appearance issue at that point will surely collapse most any respect that you have it together. I know you said you had a lapse in judgement so you know you erred but take it from me as a rule to live by--you are what you are and no one is examining you that closely. Link to post Share on other sites
binny Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 I vote not creep too! If she wanted you to leave or thought you were bothering her she would have made it obvious for you to leave. It sounds like she enjoyed having someone to talk to. I did have a lasp in judgement after this and sent her a message about if she noticed my teeth I'm really sorry and I honestly don't mean this in a nasty way.. but this made me laugh I just can't imagine what you would write to her a message about teeth, seems very random! hopefully she will see the funny/cute side of it Link to post Share on other sites
Author MikeyK Posted October 19, 2011 Author Share Posted October 19, 2011 I said sorry if this is weird but did you notice my teeth while talking to me? I'm really worried about what people think as I hate being in social situations. I want to be 19. Im working tonight and will pass her work but don't know if I should stop and what to say Link to post Share on other sites
binny Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 Ahhh, I thought you sent her a message with random teeth facts or something! You should never tell anyone what you consider to be your flaws.. She probably didn't even notice your teeth but now that you mentioned it, she might start to notice just because you pointed it out. It's done now, but try and avoid doing it in future. I'm sure your teeth aren't even that bad. As long as they are clean and not rotting I doubt most girls would even care. Some might but a lot won't.. I know lots of people with far from perfect teeth and it's never stopped them from having girl/boyfriends. You are probably stressing over nothing. You shouldn't care about what other people think.. If you spend too much time worrying about what other people think, then you won't be very happy.. Link to post Share on other sites
Febreze Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 Hi all, I have a concern, as I am generally scared of people but once and a while I "forget" while talking to someone. I dont know what to make of this About a month ago I went to my old work at night(its opened 24/7) to visit old friends, they werent in and the cashier told me who I worked with but never talked to. I intended to talk to her for 5 minutes as I cant talk to girls but ended up talking to her for 3 or so hours. I never looked at the time or thought about who I was talking to, we were just talking. She was doing the majoirty of the talking with me inputting here and there. She said she dressed up as the devil or something for haloween and I said "How can you be the devil when your an an angel. Awe, look at me being so sweet" and other comments like that, I say the latter to keep safe, so I can be joking/not joking and I dont know how to flirt, I need help. I commented how she can look good wearing a horrible uniform while I need to wear nice shirts/pants to look ok. She was adjusting her top the majority of the time. I dont know what that means. She is around 23 while I am 19 After I left I doubted myself thinking I looked like a fool. I told one of my friends sister and she said I sounded like a dorky loser and she would have knocked me out for being a creep. Some other friends say that she is creeped out because I stayed there for hours. None of my friends have had any contact with her ever. I have low confidence/esteem etc and feel girls will laugh at me. I havent been back there since and that was my last real outside of work social contact. I fear people think I am a creep and such but Im not doing anything intentionally or with any intent to creep out people. What to make of this? How do I flirt? Was I really a creep? I once had a discharged patient at my job stay hours after just to talk to me even though I was busy making rounds He was nice, sweet, whatever, but I did wish he bugged off after a while since I was giving him short answers and even tuning him out a few times to tend to my other patients who needed me. It seemed like he never caught the hint til his cell phone went off then he stepped outside to answer it and thankfully never came back so you do have to be careful in overstaying your welcome because some people are just too nice to tell you otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 I said sorry if this is weird but did you notice my teeth while talking to me? I'm really worried about what people think as I hate being in social situations. I want to be 19. Im working tonight and will pass her work but don't know if I should stop and what to say You were being a creep when you asked her if she noticed your teeth. You dont point out your flaws to women. They dont want to hear about you feeling sorry for yourself. They want to talk to someone whos fun and uplifting, not someone whos worried about how he looks. So if you cant be fun and uplifting without talking about your insecurities, dont talk to her at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Onlyjonley Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 If you ever want to be in a relationship, you've gotta work on your self confidence and image. Girls aren't attracted to insecure guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MikeyK Posted October 20, 2011 Author Share Posted October 20, 2011 If you ever want to be in a relationship, you've gotta work on your self confidence and image. Girls aren't attracted to insecure guys. I dont know where to start working on it. Link to post Share on other sites
sm13 Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 i dont think so Link to post Share on other sites
Author MikeyK Posted October 20, 2011 Author Share Posted October 20, 2011 She has told other people to leave. She always asked me to come along whether it be down and aisle or outside to smoke. I am not good at reading signals, either good or bad. I dont do anything on purpose I just dont have social skills, Id like to get better. I dont really have any friends to help me Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 You faltered with her by being self-conscious about your teeth but that is not necessarily the end if you think she might actually favor you. Be friendly when you see her and roll with how she treats you. If she's sorta cold, you'll know you blew. Start moving on. For the future you could tell yourself that everyone else is like you in their own worries about their private shortfalls and therefore no one is fixating on you. When you believe this without a shadow of doubt, you'll realize that there is nothing stopping you except you from meeting a lot of people and becoming someone to them. You just have to get over that self-consciousness--and the way to do that it to remind yourself that others may not show it but they are all concerned with themselves and not you. Having a few crooked teeth is not grounds to defeat yourself. Many folks have gnarlier maws than you and still succeed socially. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MikeyK Posted October 20, 2011 Author Share Posted October 20, 2011 I knew I would screwed it up regardless, thats why I dont talk to anyone because it all ends the same. I wasnt even trying to hit on her. I just cant talk to people. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 I knew I would screwed it up regardless, thats why I dont talk to anyone because it all ends the same. I wasnt even trying to hit on her. I just cant talk to people. Don't go overboard. You need to learn exactly what you do wrong and recover. If you just generalize and cease trying you will never overcome. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 I dont know where to start working on it. You got plenty of good advice in all your threads. Why arent you following them? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MikeyK Posted October 21, 2011 Author Share Posted October 21, 2011 You got plenty of good advice in all your threads. Why arent you following them? I am following it, it is just too hard and its a big change. Link to post Share on other sites
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