Do men avoid settling as women get older?

[azsinglegal]

Only if she is between the ages of 18~24, if not she is too old for me, also she has to be hot.

 

Dunno. She claims she is but she only wants a hot, rich man to take care of her. Apparently she can't find anyone up to her standards so I'm guessing they're higher then what she has to offer.

[dasein]

Because it makes it easier for you to take a collective piss on women while you puff out your chest and act like your high and mighty.

 

Good lord you sure love making things up out of thin air. Sanman is one of the most balanced posters here, too reasonable with certain posters sometimes imo, but then I would think that.

 

You're just here to proliferate a mentality about women that is at the heart of it, misognistic. Does your girlfriend know how you feel about her aging? How you're allowed to but she isn't?

 

It's this kind of histrionic raving that makes men take very little lots of women say seriously. It's plain that you decide whatever you are going to post before even marginally considering the actual facts of what others post, what they actually say, and then go off on a tirade. I mean it's fine to rant and all, I do plenty of it myself, but at least relate your rants to what the other poster actually posted, not twisted, unjustified assumptions.

 

I believe that a good chunk of the men that have come to LS have done so because of pasts hurts from women and have not dealt with it in a healthy matter. So they come here and take it out on women here.

 

This is probably true, it is a dating board after all. I am about 4 mo out of a LTR where I was treated very badly in the last year of it, so yes I have a bad attitude about women. But pot kettle black much? Your posts describe a terrible attitude about men, angry, hysterical, berating, constant blame-shifting and rationalizations.

 

If you think this board is grounded in reality, then you need to step away from it a little more. I do not think most of the men within this thread are reasonable human beings, you would be correct about that. Look who you are joining racks with Sanman...Shaun Dro..Woogle? Woogle's not entirely bad but he isn't exactly the most reasonable either. And he pretty much justifies any treatment of women because of what happens to men. He dips his little toe in the water and makes some kind of small comment about something that might not be fair to women..but just as soon he pulls that toe out and quickly makes a comment about how it's justifiable because of what men go through. After all, we all know women are not people. Certainly not people like men are right Sanman?

 

This thread is about people's value in the dating marketplace as they age. Women, as men, are blessed and cursed in that a young attractive woman has an unbalanced amount of power in the dating market and an older woman also has an unbalanced amount of power in the dating market, just in different directions. A "successful" man has an unbalanced amount of power in the dating market and a man with mediocre career prospects also has an unbalanced amount of power in the dating market, just in different directions. My male friends who work average blue collar wage jobs have an incredibly difficult time finding women for relationships, no matter their other qualities. Same with older women. But will surmise that decent looking older women have a MUCH easier time than wage labor men ever do. These are just simple facts not really in dispute, they are generalizations but like "motor vehicles have four wheels" true for the most part despite significant exceptions. Personally I prefer women my own age, and have a much easier time attracting those now because they don't wield the power in dating that younger women do. In late 30s, I am finally able to attract women on my level, they are not all expecting a movie star to come knocking any day, their expectations have become more realistic as to accepting men on their actual level of value in the dating market. Some are still waiting for Clooney to pull up, lots aren't though.

 

The mystery is how you make the leap from the above simple facts to misogyny or men having a superior attitude to women. You skip lots of steps just for the purpose of continuing your rant.

 

I've said a number of times now that there are two different kinds of men in regards to this topic.

 

To clear a common misconception women here seem to have about men, men are not women. Men seek and accept the women, who meet a baseline attractiveness criteria, WHO ARE AVAILABLE to them, who are accepting of their advances. Average men, unlike average women, due to the realities of courtship and male/female dynamics, do not have the opportunities and options available unless they constantly create them. Normal ordinary men approach ALL women who meet their baseline of attractiveness, old, young, doesn't matter. Average men simply do not have the luxury of ONLY pursuing women with x color hair between the ages of y and z. It simply doesn't work that way. Looking at male pursuit of women through a woman's eyes and experience is a mistake in reasoning.

[Easyguy14]

I wooed, courted and married a man who had nothing and worked for a grand total of nine months during our entire relationship. I paid all of our bills and bent over backwards to do my full share of household chores because we both felt it would be "elitist" of me to foist it all on him simply because I was the breadwinner. I exercised daily, dieted vigorously,kept my wardrobe, grooming routine up, no sexual act was off limits, I initiated frequently.

 

Here I sit, alone, left only with the legal obligation to continue supporting him in the manner to which he'd grown accustomed during our marriage, he gets the bulk of my earnings and is living with a woman 22 yrs my junior.

 

My take away lesson? the pump and dump lifestyle of having only FB's or FWB is far preferable and a lot less expensive emotionally and fiscally than marriage.

 

what your husband did was horrible. I'd never do that to anyone. this guy should've just dated you, then walked away when things weren't working out. I've always done that and no hardships as a result of it.

[Woggle]

I never said it was okay to mistreat women but I understand why some men become cold towards women because I have been there. It's similar to how former addicts who have been clean for years sympathize with people still struggling with addiction. I never said hating an entire gender was a healthy thing.

 

When a man is betrayed by a woman he loves it does something to him. All that gentlemen instinct and that desire to make a woman happy just dies and he starts thinking what he can get for himself. I have seen the nicest guys turn into abusive SOBs after a betrayal.

 

It's not right to treat anybody like that but we can only solved the problem if we acknowledge where it comes from.

[soserious1]

what your husband did was horrible. I'd never do that to anyone. this guy should've just dated you, then walked away when things weren't working out. I've always done that and no hardships as a result of it.

 

Thank you for being supportive but in this situation I blame myself, when it became clear that my ex wasn't ever going to bring in any sort of regular income however small, I should have either insisted on an immediate post- nup or ended the marriage straight away, my allowing him to remain unemployed was seen by the court as tactic acceptance and set the status quo by which the court based the settlement in our divorce. Bottom line, I didn't protect my own basic interests, shame on me.

[Woggle]

Why don't you get a pitbull lawyer who can get you of this? I did that in my first marriage and I ended up not owing her a dime. If a man who had false abuse accusations thrown at him can do it I am sure you can. Why not start looking people up?

[Sanman]

Good lord you sure love making things up out of thin air. Sanman is one of the most balanced posters here, too reasonable with certain posters sometimes imo, but then I would think that.

 

 

This thread is about people's value in the dating marketplace as they age. Women, as men, are blessed and cursed in that a young attractive woman has an unbalanced amount of power in the dating market and an older woman also has an unbalanced amount of power in the dating market, just in different directions. A "successful" man has an unbalanced amount of power in the dating market and a man with mediocre career prospects also has an unbalanced amount of power in the dating market, just in different directions. My male friends who work average blue collar wage jobs have an incredibly difficult time finding women for relationships, no matter their other qualities. Same with older women. But will surmise that decent looking older women have a MUCH easier time than wage labor men ever do. These are just simple facts not really in dispute, they are generalizations but like "motor vehicles have four wheels" true for the most part despite significant exceptions. Personally I prefer women my own age, and have a much easier time attracting those now because they don't wield the power in dating that younger women do. In late 30s, I am finally able to attract women on my level, they are not all expecting a movie star to come knocking any day, their expectations have become more realistic as to accepting men on their actual level of value in the dating market. Some are still waiting for Clooney to pull up, lots aren't though.

 

To clear a common misconception women here seem to have about men, men are not women. Men seek and accept the women, who meet a baseline attractiveness criteria, WHO ARE AVAILABLE to them, who are accepting of their advances. Average men, unlike average women, due to the realities of courtship and male/female dynamics, do not have the opportunities and options available unless they constantly create them. Normal ordinary men approach ALL women who meet their baseline of attractiveness, old, young, doesn't matter. Average men simply do not have the luxury of ONLY pursuing women with x color hair between the ages of y and z. It simply doesn't work that way. Looking at male pursuit of women through a woman's eyes and experience is a mistake in reasoning.

 

 

Dasein,

 

Thanks. I appreciate it.

 

You make a very concise and eloquent point here that I have tied to state as well. The truth is that men and women enable the opposite sex to take advantage in these ways. If men did not bend over backwards to please beautiful women and if women did not all chase after rich men, then such status would not be an issue. The truth, as another poster stated, is that we all try and go for the best deal for ourselves.

 

Many of the women here have claimed that the men are ageists and hate older women. Not really true. Women often talk about putting on make up and 'prettying themselves up' for a man as the reason men should woo them, buy them dinners, gifts, etc. Then, they complain when men judge women on their beauty. However, if women want to complain about being valued only for beauty, they can solve the problem. Stop focusing on beauty and makeup, pick up 50% of the relationship costs, go dutch on all dinners, go after the men you like and woo them. Take him out to dinner and give him a BJ. Treat a man like many men treat women and I am sure that we would not put such emphasis on looks either. I mentioned this earlier and none of the women here have take me me up in the offer/challenge.

 

You are right that women will have a hard time trying to see things as this from a man's point of view. They are in a completely different position than us. Men generally start with the most attractive girl they can find and keep asking around until they can find a woman that is willing to date them. They go with their best available option given what they are working with. A short, fat guy hitting on model type women is likely to expend a lot of effort for little to no reward. Men get this. Women simply evaluate what comes to them mostly.

[123321]

I've said a number of times now that there are two different kinds of men in regards to this topic. There are men that date younger women because they think they think women are less then themselves. They don't have respect for that younger woman. She just has what he may want at the given time. But that's not a relationship born out of respect, kindness and real love. Thta's about what *he* gets from *her* and what *he* can *use* her for. And then there are men that date women of all ages because they really respect women.

 

Well I've dated from 16 years older to 25 years younger, I KNEW I was one of the good guys. Thanks!

 

 

 

Average men simply do not have the luxury of ONLY pursuing women with x color hair between the ages of y and z. It simply doesn't work that way. Looking at male pursuit of women through a woman's eyes and experience is a mistake in reasoning.

 

You are really good with the written word.

 

 

 

Why don't you get a pitbull lawyer who can get you of this? I did that in my first marriage and I ended up not owing her a dime. If a man who had false abuse accusations thrown at him can do it I am sure you can. Why not start looking people up?

 

My situation was similar to hers, it's not easy; my solution was to just earn 2x as much after the divorce. It's surprising what one can do if one needs to.

 

 

 

Stop focusing on beauty and makeup, pick up 50% of the relationship costs, go dutch on all dinners, go after the men you like and woo them. Take him out to dinner and give him a BJ. Treat a man like many men treat women and I am sure that we would not put such emphasis on looks either.

 

I'm going to watch the replies to this with some interest but I doubt it gets any serious consideration.

[Shaun-Dro]

Dasein,

 

Thanks. I appreciate it.

 

You make a very concise and eloquent point here that I have tied to state as well. The truth is that men and women enable the opposite sex to take advantage in these ways. If men did not bend over backwards to please beautiful women and if women did not all chase after rich men, then such status would not be an issue. The truth, as another poster stated, is that we all try and go for the best deal for ourselves.

 

Many of the women here have claimed that the men are ageists and hate older women. Not really true. Women often talk about putting on make up and 'prettying themselves up' for a man as the reason men should woo them, buy them dinners, gifts, etc. Then, they complain when men judge women on their beauty. However, if women want to complain about being valued only for beauty, they can solve the problem. Stop focusing on beauty and makeup, pick up 50% of the relationship costs, go dutch on all dinners, go after the men you like and woo them. Take him out to dinner and give him a BJ. Treat a man like many men treat women and I am sure that we would not put such emphasis on looks either. I mentioned this earlier and none of the women here have take me me up in the offer/challenge.

 

You are right that women will have a hard time trying to see things as this from a man's point of view. They are in a completely different position than us. Men generally start with the most attractive girl they can find and keep asking around until they can find a woman that is willing to date them. They go with their best available option given what they are working with. A short, fat guy hitting on model type women is likely to expend a lot of effort for little to no reward. Men get this. Women simply evaluate what comes to them mostly.

 

Again, excellent post by a rational person. I always appreciate hearing this kind of statement on the rainiest days.

 

It's beyond me why women in here fight against you harder than others in these forums. I'm definitely worse than you as far as acting out but yet I only get a fraction of the punishment. Perhaps I'm amusing with my antics could be the reason?

 

I'm going to go with the fact that you nail the truth so hard that it hurts certain women who cannot handle it, so they come back at you with their emotional ravings as the only defensive weapon, as weak as it is.

 

I say, keep it up Sanman, you're surely gravitating some decent admirers.

[xxoo]

The truth, as another poster stated, is that we all try and go for the best deal for ourselves.

 

But is the most beauty, or the most wealth, equivalent to the best you can do for yourselves?

 

In the end, you are sharing a life with this person. Attraction and financial solvency are two important factors, but I can think of many more important qualities to prioritize in a mate.

 

Take him out to dinner and give him a BJ. Treat a man like many men treat women and I am sure that we would not put such emphasis on looks either.

 

In an exclusive relationship....sure, why not? Sounds like fun. Even as a wife, I think "steak and bj night" is a good trade for Valentine's day

 

Serious question...why not choose the women who ACTS the best (for instance, doing things like treating for dinner, giving sexually) instead of the woman who LOOKS the best?

 

Beware: she may be older than 30

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Sanman

Many of the women here have claimed that the men are ageists and hate older women. Not really true. Women often talk about putting on make up and 'prettying themselves up' for a man as the reason men should woo them, buy them dinners, gifts, etc. Then, they complain when men judge women on their beauty. However, if women want to complain about being valued only for beauty, they can solve the problem. Stop focusing on beauty and makeup, pick up 50% of the relationship costs, go dutch on all dinners, go after the men you like and woo them. Take him out to dinner and give him a BJ. Treat a man like many men treat women and I am sure that we would not put such emphasis on looks either. I mentioned this earlier and none of the women here have take me me up in the offer/challenge.

 

Treat a man like "many" men treat women? And how do men treat women that differs so greatly from how women are treating men?

 

It doesn't go unnoticed that all your instructions about how dating can be improved are only contigent on what women do. It also doesn't go unnoticed that you've made all all emcompasing statement about how "many" men reat women vs. their female counterparts. The insinuation is obvious.

 

Even if women stopped wearing make up, men would still be judging her for her looks regardless. Since you've given us a list of things women need to do, now I want to see your list of things men are to do to also do their part.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

xxoo

But is the most beauty, or the most wealth, equivalent to the best you can do for yourselves?

 

In the end, you are sharing a life with this person. Attraction and financial solvency are two important factors, but I can think of many more important qualities to prioritize in a mate.

 

Not only that XXOO, but I've been in rooms with both very wealthy and very attractive men and it was not the things that breed attraction. In my life, I've been turned on by stereotypically hot guys AND turned off by them. I've been turned on by average guys and turned off. Chemistry isn't just about money and model like beauty.

 

 

Serious question...why not choose the women who ACTS the best (for instance, doing things like treating for dinner, giving sexually) instead of the woman who LOOKS the best?

 

I am also interested in hearing some male responses to this.

[Sanman]

But is the most beauty, or the most wealth, equivalent to the best you can do for yourselves?

 

In the end, you are sharing a life with this person. Attraction and financial solvency are two important factors, but I can think of many more important qualities to prioritize in a mate.

 

I'm sure you can. In the end, it is up tothe individual what is important to him/her. Though, I don't think any of the women that married Donald Trump did so because of his model looks or his modesty/ strength of character.

 

 

 

In an exclusive relationship....sure, why not? Sounds like fun. Even as a wife, I think "steak and bj night" is a good trade for Valentine's day

 

Serious question...why not choose the women who ACTS the best (for instance, doing things like treating for dinner, giving sexually) instead of the woman who LOOKS the best?

 

Beware: she may be older than 30

 

Not just in an exclusive relationship, but from the start. Many women whom I have barely or never met expect me to shell out $50-$100 for a meal/date 1-3 times before they even let me know if they are interested. They call me with problems, want help with things, etc. Part of my point is to do this from the get go. In having to initiate dating and part with my money, it is my job to do the picking. I am going to pick the pretty girl. Should a woman ask me out and offer to buy me a nice dinner, I would surely give her a chance regardless of looks (my current gf did approach me first). After all, what do I have to loose in that case?

 

As for your question, I did pick the woman that acted the best with my current gf. If you read most of my recent posts, my current gf is heavier than most of the women I date/end up in a relationship with (I usually end up with a size 4-6... yes ladies, go ahead and attack me for wanting someone else who is also in shape). However, she makes a six figure income, happily splits dating/relatioship costs, treats me really well, and is still attractive enough for me. She is in her mid-twenties though;). I am very happy in my relationship and have said so many times. However, this thread is not about me despite the fact that many women want to make it about my personal views. This is about societal views men and women tend to hold in general.

[musemaj11]

I agree with this. Unfiltered anonymous comments has its benefits in facing up to the kind of social Darwinism being presented on this thread.

 

Despite women’s advancements in having more choices in their lives, social imperatives continue to dictate that women are disposable despite longer life spans, more economic capital, and more choices in whom they can pair up with. The ultimate take away is that you should be young, pretty, and fertile or you are not worth it. And if you are past a sell by date, you better not look old—and at the very least have the appearance of genuine youth in order to retain passing male interest.

And despite longer life spans, more economic capital, and more choices in whom they can pair up with, more women today marry up than 50 years ago.

 

Honestly, Im extremely astounded by how unable most women are in sympathizing with men. You are only capable of playing victim and sympathizing with yourselves. You only care that men are judging women by their looks yet refuse to acknowledge that on the other hand women are judging men by their financial and social status.

 

The thing is, people keep saying that man’s options increase as they get older due to increase social and economical capital. I don’t see how that is possible in today economy since older men are no more physically appealing as the supposed dried up old hags that are 35+. The way the economy has hit industries that are male dominated means that a lot of guys are never going to have the economic capital as generations previously. In fact their wealth will continue to decrease with the exception of the vaunted 1%. Since those top guys are a minority and of course will have their pick domestically and globally of the best women they can buy, what about the rest of the other guys whose careers will probably be stalled and wages depressed due to the new trends in the economy. The extra cash that a lot of guys expect to have in their late 20’s—30’s, in order to get nubile women to start families or to have affairs with, will not be there like before—so what else are men going to bring to the table in the future.

This is the reason why there are chronic problems of 'singlehood' in virtually all developed countries with gender economic equality. A lot more men today are having a hard time to find physically desirable women because they do not have high enough financial status due to increased competition from women in the working world while in turn, a lot more women today are having a hard time to find financially desirable men because as studies show, no matter how wealthy a woman is, she still looks to marry up.

 

Whatever the case now, I also appreciate the viewpoint being presented because it also makes me aware that woman’s sole commodity is looks, youth, and the ability to procreate—and if she does not want kids—she should have a low key personality to make the guy look good. Their are exceptions of course, but beyond these features, a woman who does not posses these qualities better be either extremely charismatic, be able to provide very adequately for herself, and have enough social capital going on for herself, in that worrying about shacking up with a guy who sees her as used goods with a dried up womb would be a serious liability to her own sanity.

Cry me a river.

[Sanman]

Treat a man like "many" men treat women? And how do men treat women that differs so greatly from how women are treating men?

 

It doesn't go unnoticed that all your instructions about how dating can be improved are only contigent on what women do. It also doesn't go unnoticed that you've made all all emcompasing statement about how "many" men reat women vs. their female counterparts. The insinuation is obvious.

 

Even if women stopped wearing make up, men would still be judging her for her looks regardless. Since you've given us a list of things women need to do, now I want to see your list of things men are to do to also do their part.

 

 

How is it different than how women treat men? I can't remember the last time a woman I did not know came over to me, asked me out, and paid for my dinner. Well, yes, women would still be judged on looks. However, men are judged on looks too. The difference is that women take it to a higher level. The reason men don't have to do this is that most men are not clamoring to get waxed, tanned, and made up. Certainly, there are groups where men do preen more (jersey shore types) and then that is what you have to do. It is the made up woman with the hair extensions and the yoga butt that makes you look bad, not men. If all women stopped doing these things, men would adjust their expectations to what is available to them.

 

What should men do? That depends, what are men complaining about? That women only want them for their jobs? Then stop paying for dates, her gifts, etc or get a better job. That women want them for looks? Then all guys stop trying to look good or get into the gym and look better than other men. The thing is that men here are not complaining about the unfairness of it all. Men know that these things matter. Get a good job and work out regularly and chances are women will be flocking to you. If that is not true, fix whatever the problem is. I know people want me to say be a good person, but that really doesn't help. The nicest guys I know have the hardest time dating. They are not easy on the eyes though. Sure, it would be nice if the nicest people had the most choices, but the truth is that it is rarely the case.

[musemaj11]

Serious question...why not choose the women who ACTS the best (for instance, doing things like treating for dinner, giving sexually) instead of the woman who LOOKS the best?

I cannot choose something that does not exist.

 

Just because a woman is fat or old, doesnt mean she suddenly stop expecting to be wined and dined. She just won't get what she wants, but inside she still actually wants it.

Edited October 27, 2011 by musemaj11

[Shaun-Dro]

I cannot choose something that does not exist.

 

Just because a woman is fat or old, doesnt mean she suddenly stop expecting to be wined and dined. She just won't get what she wants, but inside she still actually wants it.

 

Fat, over-the-hill women go straight into the friend zone if they're sweet, and the only way out of it is to work on themselves. The same thing here applies to men to get a better job or establish a more than modest career to put us on top of the totem pole.

 

The difference here is that most men recognize this and accept it but the majority of women sit in denial and just peck away at a false reality.

[threebyfate]

The attitudes on LS from the men can be so horrible, in that you view women as trophies, objects and pretty much anything besides human beings. Young women are attractive. Older women are garbage. It's seriously disturbed and disturbing and not surprising that none of you have viable relationships.

 

While I don't expect that any of you run out and get married, I look at my marriage and what happened. We met, treated each other very well, fell in love, got engaged, set the wedding date, had plans for the wedding, only to get unexpectedly pregnant early and ended up quasi-eloping in a rush. I can imagine what you gents would think about this, in that the judgment would be "oh, that sucks" with all the negativity displayed within this thread. Instead, we were excited about it, even though I personally didn't want a baby so soon, wanting to wait a number of years post wedding. My husband wanted children ASAP so of course he was very happy because of our accident.

 

Next "bad" thing to happen was that in the third trimester, I ended up with placenta previa where I was bed ridden for the last trimester. Instead of my husband being negative and nasty about it (where I imagine some of you might since oh noes, old mother should not have babies, he fully supported me through this last trimester, sometimes a bit stressed but overall, he worked hard to be a great husband). We ended up with a beautiful baby boy who is our pride and joy, the crown jewel in our lives.

 

After our baby reached a year, we decided to have another and got pregnant after a few months of trying. Unfortunately, I miscarried a month ago. We were both pretty torn up about it and still are. But we emotionally supported each other through this, as people and partners. I can imagine the judgments in this thread again about old mothers and not being able to have healthy babies easily.

 

And yet through all of this, we continue to grow closer, building on our love and family, leaning on each other in our times of need. Two PEOPLE who love each other.

 

So if you gents want healthy relationships, lay down your arms, forget the silly power struggles, the unhealthy egos, all that crap and start looking for a PERSON who you're compatible with, who you love and who will love you back equally, as a PERSON.

 

/end old lady rant

[musemaj11]

Fat, over-the-hill women go straight into the friend zone if they're sweet, and the only way out of it is to work on themselves. The same thing here applies to men to get a better job or establish a more than modest career to put us on top of the totem pole.

 

The difference here is that most men recognize this and accept it but the majority of women sit in denial and just peck away at a false reality.

I introduce you to Exhibit A:

The attitudes on LS from the men can be so horrible, in that you view women as trophies, objects and pretty much anything besides human beings. Young women are attractive. Older women are garbage. It's seriously disturbed and disturbing and not surprising that none of you have viable relationships.

:D:D

[xxoo]

It cracks me up to see women over 30 described as "fat and old"

 

Almost makes me feel sorry for the guys on this thread if these are your only choices.

 

Almost.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Thanks for putting things into perspective ThreebyFate and sharing your experience.

[Zed]

And despite longer life spans, more economic capital, and more choices in whom they can pair up with, more women today marry up than 50 years ago.

 

Honestly, Im extremely astounded by how unable most women are in sympathizing with men. You are only capable of playing victim and sympathizing with yourselves. You only care that men are judging women by their looks yet refuse to acknowledge that on the other hand women are judging men by their financial and social status.

 

 

This is the reason why there are chronic problems of 'singlehood' in virtually all developed countries with gender economic equality. A lot more men today are having a hard time to find physically desirable women because they do not have high enough financial status due to increased competition from women in the working world while in turn, a lot more women today are having a hard time to find financially desirable men because as studies show, no matter how wealthy a woman is, she still looks to marry up.

 

 

Cry me a river.

 

No I don’t feel empathetic to a lot of men on this board, especially with the kind of disgust that men have for women in which they hardly have shown sympathy in kind to women.

 

Most women married up 50 years ago precisely because they did not have the kind of rights and economic capital and choices that they have today. In fact marriage trends “back then” was that you had guys who would happily marry the waitress as opposed to the old ugly restaurateur. Modern trends now have shown that men and women who are college educated and up tend to marry each other in far greater numbers, since both partners are seeking equal partnerships.

 

As stated in one recent study from MIT:

 

Among men, the more a man earns, the more likely he is to be married. Among women, what used to be known as the marriage penalty -- a reference to the fact that greater education was associated with lower marriage rates -- has steadily eroded. Now, college-educated women are more likely than their less educated peers to marry and stay married. Economically secure, college-educated men and women may not need marriage, but most of them want it.

 

The economic consequences of this socioeconomic divide in marriage are accentuated by two other developments. One is that marriages are increasingly between socioeconomic equals, who each contribute economically to the partnership. It used to be that doctors married nurses. Now, thanks to women's advancement, they marry other doctors, and often both continue to work.

 

The other is that high-earning professionals are partnering at the same time that the economic returns to their advanced education have grown. Wages have fallen at the bottom of the job ladder and risen at the top. As a result, college graduates, according to calculations by an MIT economist, now earn nearly twice as much as high school graduates

 

The implication is unavoidable and, for those concerned about inequality, dispiriting: Our economy has richly rewarded the highly educated, and they are consolidating those gains through marriage, widening the gap between the haves and have-nots.

So my original statement is correct. Men with good prospects are looking for women, in the same generation, with the same prospects, as they are for equal partnerships, which as a result widen the economic gap and makes it harder for regular guys who are poorer who think they should get good looking 20 year olds as wives to pop out kids. Sinec wages will continue to be depressed, it is unlikely that men who were born in lower socio-economic status can increase their odds of marrying someone young and hot, by increasing their financies to attract the young and fertile like before. This also explains why some poorer women are also not marrying since poor guys do not want to commit to them.

 

Still, the unfiltered honesty is refreshing because as has been stated before, men see women for only three things, looks, babies, and youth. So I am not "crying a river over it" nor do I want any kind of faux sympathy from anyone here. I am working on ensuring that my life has enough meaning where these "cold hard truths" are not going to make my life horrible and that I do not loathe myself because I am supposedly old, ugly, used, and dried up.

[dasein]

Since you've given us a list of things women need to do, now I want to see your list of things men are to do to also do their part.

 

Forgive us, but THAT particular list is not hard to find. It is spewed out in hundreds of thousands of media and other messages each and every day emanating from magazines, movies, television, the internet everywhere men turn we are hammered and bombarded...incessantly... with messages of how we are lacking in not dododododododo-ing enough, ever more and more and more, for women. If we aren't being told how lacking we are, we are being told how -bad- we are, that the tiniest fraction of bad men, abusers, exploiters, the violent, are actually representative of our entire gender. We get tired of being told how monumentally lacking and evil we are as a gender, and eventually, just start ignoring it or backlashing against it.

 

OTOH, any time a man expresses or even implies that women should change their behavior, behave more responsibly, consistently, take accountability for the consequences of their actions, implies that life is full of choices that preclude "have it all" thinking? Well Katy bar the door! Some MR. MAN somewhere has implied that women as a gender aren't completely perfect in every way. We just can't have that.

 

I get it.

[Woggle]

Forgive us, but THAT particular list is not hard to find. It is spewed out in hundreds of thousands of media and other messages each and every day emanating from magazines, movies, television, the internet everywhere men turn we are hammered and bombarded...incessantly... with messages of how we are lacking in not dododododododo-ing enough, ever more and more and more, for women. If we aren't being told how lacking we are, we are being told how -bad- we are, that the tiniest fraction of bad men, abusers, exploiters, the violent, are actually representative of our entire gender. We get tired of being told how monumentally lacking and evil we are as a gender, and eventually, just start ignoring it or backlashing against it.

 

OTOH, any time a man expresses or even implies that women should change their behavior, behave more responsibly, consistently, take accountability for the consequences of their actions, implies that life is full of choices that preclude "have it all" thinking? Well Katy bar the door! Some MR. MAN somewhere has implied that women as a gender aren't completely perfect in every way. We just can't have that.

 

I get it.

 

This is true. For the past couples of decades we have been hearing what men should do for women so why not let the men have our say as well? I am sure no fair minded woman thinks things should be one sided do they?

[dasein]

The attitudes on LS from the men can be so horrible, in that you view women as trophies, objects and pretty much anything besides human beings. Young women are attractive. Older women are garbage. It's seriously disturbed and disturbing and not surprising that none of you have viable relationships.

 

What's disturbing is the continual contortion of the simple fact that women generally lose sex appeal as they age, a completely noncontroversial statement of biological fact devoid of any material gender-sensitive content, into utterly polarized mischaracterizations such as "Young women are attractive. Older women are garbage." The level of straw manning that female posters engage in here on LS would make a scarecrow blush.