Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 I said: Liking younger women has nothing to do with a man really liking women. Men that like younger women don't even have that much respect for that younger woman. Because his like of her is only dependent on something she can't even control. His like is based on using her, not really loving her. Thatone responded: that sounds exactly like all of the bitter 20-35 year old male virgins who post on this forum, mind you. How so Thatone? If a man only has interest for a woman who is younger then him, what happens to that same woman when she is no longer younger? If a man's interest is only dependent on something she can't control, like her age, how is she suppose to build a secure relationship with a man having faith that he is with her because he likes her and not her age? In all honesty, it just makes good logical sense for a woman to be aware about how a man view's her aging. Because a man that consistantly picks younger women is sending a big message about what he values in women.And just because he likes that younger woman at the age she is now, doesn't mean he really values her as a woman. Especially if his feelings change for her as she is naturally going tochange. I do admit that the whole age issue is really scarey as a woman and that I feel like men don't even really like us for who women naturally are. They just like us when we are young. But that's not a real life for women. They like us for thebodies we can provide and not for all the other good stuff a woman can offer. WOmen have a lot of love to give. But how can a man expect a woman to trust him or be vunerable with him if his interest in her and women in general is contingent on something like age? All women age. I guess that means that all women are worthless to men. How can men not expect women to see it this way when the men here basically are telling us just that anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 http://jezebel.com/5857933/the-real-reason-why-older-men-want-to-date-you Just like to note that this piece was written by a man, so it's not "feminist propaganda." Still... reading about this topic just makes me feel depressed down to my bones. At 26, I get no attention from men as it is. Maybe it's time to prepare myself for a life alone, eh? Yeah, that is totally depressing. I guess the truth is that men don't much like us women very much unless we are 20 forever. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Originally Posted by musemaj11 Over the past couple decades, more and more men of the newer generations have learned that for a man, marriage leads to more disadvantages than advantages. Marriage for a man: Committing forever your continually growing financial investment on a single woman who will only get older and uglier with time, losing half your assets in the event of a breakdown of the marriage, confined to having sex with only one woman for the rest of your life. Musemaj11, I don't understand what your problem is at all. You don't like women. Women don't like you. You think marriage sucks. I think the female population is fine with letting you remain a bachelor forever. You've expressed yourself plenty here on LS. We all know where you're coming from and nobody is even trying to change your mind. Why don't you spend your time and energy on something you actually DO like? Do you have any hobbies or interests other than complaining about women on LoveShack? Link to post Share on other sites
Wolf18 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 http://jezebel.com/5857933/the-real-reason-why-older-men-want-to-date-you Just like to note that this piece was written by a man, so it's not "feminist propaganda." Still... reading about this topic just makes me feel depressed down to my bones. At 26, I get no attention from men as it is. Maybe it's time to prepare myself for a life alone, eh? OMgz what a BITTER piece So old rich guys would rather date young attractive women than women their own age. What else is new? Should I go through the list of types of men that are authentically sexually invisible (as in no demographic of women likes them period) to women? Not to mention that the jezebel feminist admits that all kinds of guys still hit on women in their 40's, just not the old successful guys she's looking for. Women call it sexual invisibility when the very specific kind of man they like ignores them. Instead, women ought to adapt to the hand they get played. Personally I've always found older women to be even more attractive and a lot easier to get along with than women my own age. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 So old rich guys would rather date young attractive women than women their own age. What else is new? Should I go through the list of types of men that are authentically sexually invisible (as in no demographic of women likes them period) to women? Well, we all know that's what the only thing the guys here care about is themselve and their own rough dating patches so go ahead and go through all the reasons why women won't date a man. After all, it's all about men all the time around here and anytimg women mention something that hurts them it usually gets mocked, blown aside, ignored or degraded as being worth less then how men are hurt. Or a combination of all those. Such as you displayed. If you are a male or female that anytime the other sex mention somethings affects then and you are unable to process that without going back to how *you* as a man or woman are affected, you need to think about how that kind of view sets you up to never completely understanding the other sex or showing the grace and kindness. Link to post Share on other sites
Negative Nancy Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 If a man only has interest for a woman who is younger then him, what happens to that same woman when she is no longer younger? these are exactly my worries. sometimes i even contemplate staying childless and unmarried because of it, because i don't wanna be left at 40 or 45. and you can't see upfront who is gonna leave you or not, because of course at our current age, men put on their best face and are convinced that they wanna stay with you "forever". yeah, many men thought that too when their wives were younger and prettier and then all of a sudden they found their wives no longer attractive as she aged and engaged in an affair or even left her for a younger woman. to be fair i gotta point out that 123321 posted here that he would love his wife just as much when she is 40 or 45 because by then he will have built a 20 year long bond with her. while this is a nice and good point, i'm still wary of men who would only date younger women to begin with because you never know. like i said, i'm curious as to what i'm gonna post here in a couple years down the road... kinda ironic that men want to be wanted for something more than and be seen deeper than their wallets, yet all they want is a young pretty woman themselves, then they claim they would stay with her and not trade her in. that's like us women saying, "i want a man with 10 million in the bank account, but if he loses all his wealth and assets at 40, of course i would not leave him because we'll have built a strong bond, after all." my question is, would you TRUST such a woman in the first place, not to mention date her? that's what i thought. Link to post Share on other sites
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Yeah, that is totally depressing. I guess the truth is that men don't much like us women very much unless we are 20 forever. The specific example they gave (OkC dating profiles) is a pretty small snapshot of the overall dating population... The fact that they created this article is pretty encouraging to me... it means this thing that lots of men have taken for granted, ie, that they are entitled to date much younger women, is finally being talked about and shown for what it is. Not evidence of their 'prowess'... but evidence of their insecurity with aging and inability to deal with someone who is their equal in life experience. I suspect you will see fewer and fewer of these May-December pairings going forward... Mostly because women won't oblige them. We already are seeing it disappear... some men here on LS are a vocal minority of those who don't view women as human beings... so it is no surprise they talk this way. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 And what about those of us who were a) trying to work on their issues (so, *gasp* they wouldn't be a burden to a man), and b) hoping like hell to not attract certain types of men (part of the reason for working on themselves)? Only to find a lot of men chasing trophies, and informing women that they're losing their shelf life once they're over a certain age? Every person struggles to work on their own issues. However, life is not fair. Society as a whole does not care about your personal struggles. Hence, the reason many women won't date older male versions or awkward men. Life is not fair and everyone is out for the best they can get. You can't tell a man to settle for an older woman anymore than a male virgin can tell a woman to settle for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 OMgz what a BITTER piece So old rich guys would rather date young attractive women than women their own age. What else is new? Should I go through the list of types of men that are authentically sexually invisible (as in no demographic of women likes them period) to women? Yeah, there is definitely some bitterness from the posters here. It really does remind me of the male virgins. Link to post Share on other sites
Beachgirl8 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 to be fair i gotta point out that 123321 posted here that he would love his wife just as much when she is 40 or 45 because by then he will have built a 20 year long bond with her. while this is a nice and good point, i'm still wary of men who would only date younger women to begin with because you never know. like i said, i'm curious as to what i'm gonna post here in a couple years down the road... . That's what my ex, who was older, said to me when I was 25 and he was 37. By the time I was 32 he was already cheating on me with much younger girls. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 that's like us women saying, "i want a man with 10 million in the bank account, but if he loses all his wealth and assets at 40, of course i would not leave him because we'll have built a strong bond, after all." my question is, would you TRUST such a woman in the first place, not to mention date her? Many women want to date financially successful men and want them to pay. It is a risk we all take when dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Negative Nancy Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 That's what my ex, who was older, said to me when I was 25 and he was 37. By the time I was 32 he was already cheating on me with much younger girls. wow, sorry to hear that. that's why i said in the other thread you gotta be careful with these type of men, what's done with you might be done to you one day...one of the reasons i'd never date a man who left his wife/gf for me. and one of the reasons i'd never date a man who has a history of dating younger...the past predicts the future The truth is, however, that the "sexual invisibility" felt by many older men is really about becoming less attractive to young women. It's a lament I've heard from many of my male peers, who complain that they don't get "checked out" as often as they claim they once did. "Young women look at me and they see someone who looks like their Dad," my friend Sean said. "They may still smile, but there's no flirtation or desire behind it." this exact point also fits the guys well that complain that no woman is attracted to them. what they're really saying is that none of the hot young women they desire is interested in them, but conveniently overlook the fact that they might have a shot with plain jane. of course, PJ doesn't do it for them. Isn't this whole going around in circles hilarious? Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 OMgz what a BITTER piece So old rich guys would rather date young attractive women than women their own age. What else is new? Should I go through the list of types of men that are authentically sexually invisible (as in no demographic of women likes them period) to women? Not to mention that the jezebel feminist admits that all kinds of guys still hit on women in their 40's, just not the old successful guys she's looking for. Where in the world does she mention "all kinds of guys" hitting on her? Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 http://jezebel.com/5857933/the-real-reason-why-older-men-want-to-date-you Just like to note that this piece was written by a man, so it's not "feminist propaganda." Still... reading about this topic just makes me feel depressed down to my bones. At 26, I get no attention from men as it is. Maybe it's time to prepare myself for a life alone, eh? I have to point out....not all men are this insecure, and why would you want one who is? Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 From the article: When I sent out a request for stories about this phenomenon, I heard many like this, from Veronica, age 37: "When I was first dating online in my late 20s, I got hundreds of emails a week. Eight years later, even though my pictures are better and my accomplishments more substantial, I get only a quarter as many. Most of the guys I hear from are over 50." What is wrong with guys over 50? Are they not attractive enough for Veronica? See how this argument works. We can all throw this back at each other. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 What is wrong with guys over 50? Are they not attractive enough for Veronica? See how this argument works. We can all throw this back at each other. 50 year old men are very attractive! But: At 37, she's at her sexual prime At 50, he may need sexual meds She may strongly want to have a kid, and he may strongly want to avoid new fatherhood at his age. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 50 year old men are very attractive! But: At 37, she's at her sexual prime At 50, he may need sexual meds She may strongly want to have a kid, and he may strongly want to avoid new fatherhood at his age. First off, the supposed sexual peak is usually listed as 30-35, not 37. Second, there is little if any scientific evidence of such a peak. Not a lot of men in their 50s need viagra and some may want to have kids. You just made the same argument as the men at 37 saying a woman at that age is dried up and will have trouble conceiving compared to a 29 year old woman. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 First off, the supposed sexual peak is usually listed as 30-35, not 37. Second, there is little if any scientific evidence of such a peak. Not a lot of men in their 50s need viagra and some may want to have kids. You just made the same argument as the men at 37 saying a woman at that age is dried up and will have trouble conceiving compared to a 29 year old woman. But today's 29 year old woman may not be ready to have kids. My point throughout this thread is---these days, both men and women tend to be READY to have kids at the same ages ~ roughly early-mid 30s. So it makes sense TO ME for both men and women, wanting to start a family, to look for each other in that age range. It makes little sense for men in his mid 30s, ready to start a family, to look for a woman in her 20s who wants to wait 5 years. It makes just as little sense for a woman in her mid 30s, ready to start a family, to look for a man in his 50s. Who really wants a teenager at 70?! Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Negative Nancy to be fair i gotta point out that 123321 posted here that he would love his wife just as much when she is 40 or 45 because by then he will have built a 20 year long bond with her. I'm not even sure that it's that much of a good point. It seems rather manipulative to me and not about real love. "I will love you but only if you do my dirty laundry from when your young!" kinda ironic that men want to be wanted for something more than and be seen deeper than their wallets, yet all they want is a young pretty woman themselves, then they claim they would stay with her and not trade her in. that's like us women saying, "i want a man with 10 million in the bank account, but if he loses all his wealth and assets at 40, of course i would not leave him because we'll have built a strong bond, after all." I agree. Which is why I think it's a manipulative cold comment when men say how much they would stay with their wives only if they were with them since they were young. It's not about really loving a woman. It's about loving what a woman brings you. And that's not real love. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 But today's 29 year old woman may not be ready to have kids. My point throughout this thread is---these days, both men and women tend to be READY to have kids at the same ages ~ roughly early-mid 30s. So it makes sense TO ME for both men and women, wanting to start a family, to look for each other in that age range. It makes little sense for men in his mid 30s, ready to start a family, to look for a woman in her 20s who wants to wait 5 years. It makes just as little sense for a woman in her mid 30s, ready to start a family, to look for a man in his 50s. Who really wants a teenager at 70?! Or maybe she is ready for kids at 29, or he wants to also wait 5 years, or he wants kids at 70. These are hard to qualify. That said, I did point out earlier that many men like to go a bit slower even in their 30s than women that age prefer. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 I'm not even sure that it's that much of a good point. It seems rather manipulative to me and not about real love. "I will love you but only if you do my dirty laundry from when your young!" DY, your posts strike me as so negative It isn't about doing laundry from young (omg...). It is about LOVE, man! Love is blind. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. When the person you LOVE ages, you simply don't care. They are beautiful to YOU. Come over to the marriage board and ask the long-married guys if they are attracted to their wives.... Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 The specific example they gave (OkC dating profiles) is a pretty small snapshot of the overall dating population... The fact that they created this article is pretty encouraging to me... it means this thing that lots of men have taken for granted, ie, that they are entitled to date much younger women, is finally being talked about and shown for what it is. Not evidence of their 'prowess'... but evidence of their insecurity with aging and inability to deal with someone who is their equal in life experience. I suspect you will see fewer and fewer of these May-December pairings going forward... Mostly because women won't oblige them. We already are seeing it disappear... some men here on LS are a vocal minority of those who don't view women as human beings... so it is no surprise they talk this way. AmericanLife, thanks for putting things into perspective like that. I do think there are less May-Deceember romances then back in the day so I see the logic in your post. And you are totally right, it is good we are talking about these things. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 I agree. Which is why I think it's a manipulative cold comment when men say how much they would stay with their wives only if they were with them since they were young. It's not about really loving a woman. It's about loving what a woman brings you. And that's not real love. That is life. It has been shown that lust and infatuation last up to two years and tends to give way to calmer, friendlier love. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Many women want to date financially successful men and want them to pay. It is a risk we all take when dating. And you are one to be very vocal about that issue Sanman..should we chalk up your opinion and feelings on that to just being bitter? Try to extend women the same curtesy. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 That is life. It has been shown that lust and infatuation last up to two years and tends to give way to calmer, friendlier love. Deeper love. Real love. Link to post Share on other sites
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