I got mad, ended it, but I want to see him...is there anything I can do?

[Lexus]

I think I really screwed up...I'm been dating/friends with benefits with a guy for the last 6 weeks. About little over 2 weeks ago, we were together and he got the idea that I wanted to be in a relationship with him. I know he recently got out a long bad relationship and I am very careful as to not express any feelings of wanting something serious with him because right now he's not emotionally ready.

 

He stopped calling and wanting to see me after this incident. I would call him every couple of days and chat and see if he wanted to hang out, he always made excuses. I wasn't sure what happened and why he was pushing me away, then we talked last Wed and he told me that the last time we were together he felt pressured and I explained that's not the way it is. Our conversation got interrupted and Friday, I called him again. We talked for 1 1/2 and went through everything. I said everything I could to re-assure him that I don't need a relationship with him. (Again, I want one (I've never told him this) but I know that he's not ready and all of his close friends have become single recently so they are encouraging his single life). I even told him that I have been dating other men, I'm not sure if I should of shared this truth but I thought it would help re-assure him. I thought we got over everything and we were starting fresh again. We talked about seeing each other on Sunday and he told me he would call on Sunday. I called him because I had another offer on Sunday to see if we were hanging out first and I ended up getting mad and frustrated at him. Here's the some of the conversation. (We chatted normally first)

 

K: hey, are we going to hang out tonight?

D: I can't, I have a lot to do around here and I want to work on my harley. Plus I need to get up early for work tomorrow.

K: You didn't care on Friday that you would have to work tomorrow. I thought we were just going to get a drink together.

D: I never said for sure that we would get together (yes, he did on Friday), I didn't even go out last night, I don't want to drink as much.

(okay, these are all excuses, I know it, yes, he probably did have stuff to do but he wouldn't of cared in the past and the drinking line...excuse, he can drink with his buddies, here's where I get mad)

K: I don't think I want to hang out with you anymore

D: You don't THINK you want to hang out with me

K: No, I ask, you say no, I ask again, you say no...this is like the fourth time.

D: I'm just busy, you don't have to get all mad and pissed off.

K: I'm not pissed, I'm just disappointed.

D: What do you want me to say?

K: I don't want to control your words, say whatever you want to. Are you still afraid to see me?

D: Kinda

K: Even after we talked on Friday and I told you that I've been dating other guys

D: Kinda

K: You know what, I haven't seen you in 2 weeks, you hardly call me and you never ask to hang out.

D: Well, I did call all the time and want to see you alot before that Sunday night (the time he felt pressured, but I didn't pressure him, he misunderstood what I said) and we just worked this out on Friday so

K: Ya, but we talked about that and that's all over with now. You're still not comfortable?

D: I don't know

K: There's nothing else I can say about that, I guess, I will just see you in a month from now, maybe I'll run into you in a bar.

D: What

K: Do what you have to do

D: What does that mean?

K: Do whatever you have to do, have a good night, Bye

D: uh, okay, C-ya

 

I know I was mean but this is like the fourth time that he doesn't want to see me because of something he took out of context (incident) and what else can I do but end it with someone who can't get over something that never happened.

 

Now, it's Tuesday and I miss him and I don't know what to do. I don't regret standing up for myself but I really like him and I do want to see him. I know after that conversation he'll probably never call me again. But I want him to, I want him to call and realize that I still like him but he has to want to get together and get over the incident. Do you think he will call? And is there anything I can do to make this better. I think if I call him, it will make me look desperate.

 

Thanks in advance for your comments!

[FreeMe]

You may want to see him, but why would he see you now, when he was already blowing you off before you told him to do what he had to do?

 

I think if you call him he'll know he means more to you than you're saying. And at least this way you still have your pride intact.

 

Don't call him - it won't help and will probably make you want to kick yourself if you do and he's just as distant as he's been. The only way to see if this guy cares at all is to wait and see if he calls you.