Onlyjonley Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 My boyfriend goes to Chipotle every day since he's on this particular diet and since it's right across the street from his office. I went to lunch with him Monday since I had the day off. We go to pay for our food and the cashier starts chatting up my boy, all giggly and smiley. She is flirting with him big time and gives him a discount on his order. When he goes to walk away, she gives him a wink. I asked him what that was all about and he was like "I don't know ..she just knows who I am now since I come in every day." But then he told me that when he gets takeout, she'll write little notes or smiley faces on his box. I don't know why I'm bothered by this. I'm normally not a jealous girlfriend and I'm sure this is just a harmless crush. But I don't like this chick being all up in my territory. How much am I overreacting? I come here so you people can talk some dang sense into me. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 I don't think you are overreacting. This kind of behaviour is usually somewhat mutual. She would not carry on doing it if he did not react favourably. I am not saying he flirts back, but he certainly does not discourage her. Which is just as bad IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
TBH Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 i wouldnt assume its exactly reciprocated, more like men are usually really bad at noticing when a woman likes them. he's not bothered and probably doesnt even really notice so therefore is not giving her the cold shoulder, as he doesnt see why he should, as he is not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Onlyjonley Posted October 19, 2011 Author Share Posted October 19, 2011 I am sure he likes the attention. Every guy likes their ego stroked. But he is also just a very nice guy. Nice to everyone he meets. And when I mentioned her having a crush on him, his response was "God, I hope not." He did not flirt back with her while I was there. And maybe she just has an overly friendly, flirty personality. But I'd like to tell her where to stick it. Link to post Share on other sites
ShannonMI Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 My boyfriend goes to Chipotle every day since he's on this particular diet and since it's right across the street from his office. I went to lunch with him Monday since I had the day off. We go to pay for our food and the cashier starts chatting up my boy, all giggly and smiley. She is flirting with him big time and gives him a discount on his order. When he goes to walk away, she gives him a wink. I asked him what that was all about and he was like "I don't know ..she just knows who I am now since I come in every day." But then he told me that when he gets takeout, she'll write little notes or smiley faces on his box. I don't know why I'm bothered by this. I'm normally not a jealous girlfriend and I'm sure this is just a harmless crush. But I don't like this chick being all up in my territory. How much am I overreacting? I come here so you people can talk some dang sense into me. I'd feel the same way. I'd be f*cking irritated. And how disrespectful to flirt with him in front of you. Not a nice chick. I'm sure your boyfriend knows she likes him. Like what guy wouldn't know? It's not like she's subtle about it. I hope he isn't flirting back with her when you aren't there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Onlyjonley Posted October 19, 2011 Author Share Posted October 19, 2011 I honestly don't think she realized we were together. We paid separately and I was still waiting for my food when he paid ...though I was only a couple steps behind him. And since he's normally alone, she probably didn't put 2 and 2 together. Link to post Share on other sites
AH1990 Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 I honestly don't think she realized we were together. We paid separately and I was still waiting for my food when he paid ...though I was only a couple steps behind him. And since he's normally alone, she probably didn't put 2 and 2 together. Most likely that is the case. And from a guys point of view, I can't really ever tell if a girl is flirting with me. A few years ago I could tell, but now my whole view on things have changed. I had a girl at a coffee shop ALWAYS talk to me, ask me what my name was, give me free drinks, ask me how school was going and everything in between. She always had a smile on her face when we were talking. I took that as she was flirting with me. So I went for it, asked her if I could take her out sometime and buy her a coffee................."sorry, I have a boyfriend". Now I'm completely oblivious! Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 I honestly don't think she realized we were together. We paid separately and I was still waiting for my food when he paid ...though I was only a couple steps behind him. And since he's normally alone, she probably didn't put 2 and 2 together. Oh, well in that case, it was just an understandible concern. It's great for a guy's ego to have women favor them like that and I would like it too TO A POINT. I think she went a tad past that point for my comfort level even if I were alone. It probably would have been good if you joined up with him and showed that you're a couple as you departed the place where she could see. I think this is one of those things where you are placed in a position of having to give the benefit of the doubt and choose the better or worse of people. You know that she didn't diss you on purpose and he didn't diss you either. It may be hard but I'd advise picking chosing the better of them and letting it go. Maybe you want to go in ther again as a couple if you'd feel better about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Onlyjonley Posted October 19, 2011 Author Share Posted October 19, 2011 Yeah, I didn't realize what was going on before it was too late or I would have definitely made it more apparent that we were a couple. In line, he had offered to buy my meal and I told him I'd get it. Now I'm wishing he would have just so she'd know we were together. Though I'm sure she saw us sitting together. Eating lunch with him again anytime soon isn't really possible. I work about 45 minutes away M-F and just happened to have that day off. Oh well. It is what it is. I'm not going to lose sleep over it. I would just hope if it got worse or if she hinted at more, that he'd mention he has a girlfriend ...even if he likes the attention. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 Yeah, I didn't realize what was going on before it was too late or I would have definitely made it more apparent that we were a couple. In line, he had offered to buy my meal and I told him I'd get it. Now I'm wishing he would have just so she'd know we were together. Though I'm sure she saw us sitting together. Eating lunch with him again anytime soon isn't really possible. I work about 45 minutes away M-F and just happened to have that day off. Oh well. It is what it is. I'm not going to lose sleep over it. I would just hope if it got worse or if she hinted at more, that he'd mention he has a girlfriend ...even if he likes the attention. That's kind of an uncomfortable thing for a guy to do. If it were me, I'd find another place to eat most of the time rather than go in there and tell her to cool off. But that's just me. It can get sticky. Link to post Share on other sites
RiverRunning Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 She's writing him notes, giving him discounts...WINKING? How can it not cross a person's mind that they're being flirted with? When someone gives me a random discount, my first thought isn't, "How kind," if they're the opposite sex. Certainly, "I wonder if there's something more to this," crosses my mind. I think it would be appropriate to ask if your boyfriend can find an opportunity, when he talks to her, to segue into a story about how he's coupled up. He could even buy an extra sub one day. If she asks about it, he can explain that he's buying it for his girlfriend for dinner later that night. Whatever the case, he needs to set it out there so the girl can stop wasting her time. Unless he deters this, it's probably going to escalate since he's either a.) reacting favorably or b.) reacting neutrally. He doesn't need to go in there with guns blazing and announce, "I'm DATING someone, you rotten skank!" But telling a story about you does make it clear he's taken and it can be worked into a natural conversation. That's just respectful. It's one thing to get flirted with once or twice, but if it's an ongoing thing, it's probably not good. I don't think you're overreacting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Onlyjonley Posted October 19, 2011 Author Share Posted October 19, 2011 He's on the actual Chipotle diet soooo I don't think he'll be eating anywhere else. It'll be fine. I'm sure he can handle it in a good way. Thanks for the input! Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 He's on the actual Chipotle diet soooo I don't think he'll be eating anywhere else. It'll be fine. I'm sure he can handle it in a good way. Thanks for the input! Suggestion: plant a serious hickey on his neck where it can't be hidden by a shirt the night before his next Chipolte visit. That's a deterrent that has worked on me by girls I liked. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Onlyjonley Posted October 19, 2011 Author Share Posted October 19, 2011 Hmmm, that's a thought. Also .. said girl isn't exactly attractive. A little on the plain/mousy side. I can't see him being attracted to her. But guys are weird. You all are attracted to a variety of females. Link to post Share on other sites
bikinibeach Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 let her manager know she is acting innappropriately. or threaten her that you will. i'm sure they'd be none to happy to hear she is giving discounts. Link to post Share on other sites
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