The truth has a way of showing itself

[Kerrie]

Re: the ongoing drama of ex one night stand lying...

 

After months of going back and forth with the situation, I finally resigned myself to leaving yesterday.

 

Of course, he freaked, wrote a plan of action and begged me to stay. Ive explained that if I stayed in the situation as it is that I would be the same person I was before a broken nose finally forced me into intense couselling and that because I am a romantic, I vowed years ago to let my head rule my heart and that if I had to, I would walk away from this as I've walked from life loves and twenty year frienships before. It would kill me, but I would do it.

 

Yesterday it all went out of control. His parents are involved and have forced him into couselling to deal with what ever it is that is stopping him confronting her. His mother begged him to go see her to start setting the record straight now, not in a week or two as he wanted to.

 

It was the best thing that could have happened. He went around there and the silly bitch has packed up and moved without telling him where. We saw the girls Tuesday just gone and they moved n the weekend. What makes me really angry is she has either got the girls to lie to us (7 and 10 years old) or, she has ripped them out of school without them being able to say goodbye to their friends and adjust to the move.Either way she has yet again affected the girls adversly. We know she is living in a town around an hour away with the new boyfriend.

 

Anyway, she has done me a huge favour and typified just what it is she is like. He is ropable...you think I've been angry with some of these posts, you want to hear him now! I'm letting him be angry because I do believe he needs to be to fully heal. The old adage SARA - shock, anger, recognition, acceptance. He felt the shock seven years ago when she first mislead him with contraception, ignored the situaiton til the child was born and went straight in to acceptance. The Anger and recognition (of who she is and how he needs to protect himself) are a big part of this situation being resolved.

 

Thanks to everyone who helped me with this...when you are so emotionally involved, it is objectivity that is often missing. this forum allows us to open our minds up to some objective feedback.

 

I am convinced the Gods must have wanted this situation resolved...of all days for her to pack and move, yesterday was the best as she has given me that much more credibility with my fears with our future vulnerability and, more important, got him to WANT to take action for his own sake.

 

Thanks again...

 

Kerrie

[Deejette]

I think you did the right thing by leaving. There were too many unhappy things about your relationship. I believe it is best to do what we can to save a relationship that brings us happiness and fulfillment. But if the relationship is over 50% upset and frustration, it's time to pack it in! There is nothing noble about enduring endless suffering.

Re: the ongoing drama of ex one night stand lying... After months of going back and forth with the situation, I finally resigned myself to leaving yesterday. Of course, he freaked, wrote a plan of action and begged me to stay. Ive explained that if I stayed in the situation as it is that I would be the same person I was before a broken nose finally forced me into intense couselling and that because I am a romantic, I vowed years ago to let my head rule my heart and that if I had to, I would walk away from this as I've walked from life loves and twenty year frienships before. It would kill me, but I would do it. Yesterday it all went out of control. His parents are involved and have forced him into couselling to deal with what ever it is that is stopping him confronting her. His mother begged him to go see her to start setting the record straight now, not in a week or two as he wanted to. It was the best thing that could have happened. He went around there and the silly bitch has packed up and moved without telling him where. We saw the girls Tuesday just gone and they moved n the weekend. What makes me really angry is she has either got the girls to lie to us (7 and 10 years old) or, she has ripped them out of school without them being able to say goodbye to their friends and adjust to the move.Either way she has yet again affected the girls adversly. We know she is living in a town around an hour away with the new boyfriend. Anyway, she has done me a huge favour and typified just what it is she is like. He is ropable...you think I've been angry with some of these posts, you want to hear him now! I'm letting him be angry because I do believe he needs to be to fully heal. The old adage SARA - shock, anger, recognition, acceptance. He felt the shock seven years ago when she first mislead him with contraception, ignored the situaiton til the child was born and went straight in to acceptance. The Anger and recognition (of who she is and how he needs to protect himself) are a big part of this situation being resolved. Thanks to everyone who helped me with this...when you are so emotionally involved, it is objectivity that is often missing. this forum allows us to open our minds up to some objective feedback.

 

I am convinced the Gods must have wanted this situation resolved...of all days for her to pack and move, yesterday was the best as she has given me that much more credibility with my fears with our future vulnerability and, more important, got him to WANT to take action for his own sake. Thanks again... Kerrie