5 months

[Dblock10]

5 months until my ex will be back off her round the world trip/adventure.

 

i am truly between a rock and a hard place with this. I still have feelings for her and care about her, yet she has been gone for 4 weeks now and prior to that i hadn't seen her for 8 weeks or so.

 

basically it was her bday the other day and i txtd to wish her a happy bday.

 

no reply.

 

about a few days ago she was online and so i thought id say hello.

she instantly replied and asked how i was.

 

we had a conversation that went well and she was asking about me and how uni was going etc. i asked how she was and if she had enjoyed vegas. she told me how she esp liked cali and wants to go back.

 

i asked if she got the msg and she told me she left her phone at home. but thanks anyway

 

we spoke about vegas because i noticed as i was talking to her she changed her pro pic to her and a bunch of people in front of the vegas sign.

 

she said it was better than she thought etc. then mentioned how she lost her friend at the start of the night (they got a limo to a massive night club)

 

i asked how that went, she told me how her friend was getting with the tour guide so she left her to it. and met the others

 

i do wonder why she told me that. although i did ask why she lost her i guess. but she mentioned how she left her to it. she didnt need to say that.

 

obv i am reading way to much into that.

 

but yeah, im not going to lie, i cant do full NC i dont want to completely let go of her. i feel i have gotten to a certain level of healing but wont fully get to the finish line until she is back and moving on to something else then i will truly know its done or if she doesn't even want to meet etc etc.

 

also i hate the fact that i worry if she has slept with someone else whilst on this travelling. as that would truly destroy me and would put me off ever going back or feeling that i would even want to bother trying to go there again, even if i got the chance of going back, it would just hurt to much and i dont think i could let it go. since i am not the type to rebound or have meaningless sex i cant see myself getting with anyone else anytime soon. obviously i cannot say what will happen in 5 months but chances are i wouldnt have slept with another girl

 

 

what do i do now, i really want to tell her that i still think about her and all that kind of stuff and just ask if she has got with anyone else. but if she has and i ask, firstly its not my right to ask, and secondly why would i really want to know? that would hurt so much right? but maybe i need to hear it from her before i can totally scrub her off and remove from the 10ft tall pedestal.

 

but my friend tells me i dont want to let her know that i am sat around waiting for her and telling her that kind of thing or asking her questions wont be the best idea.

 

obviously full nc wont work at getting her back. nc is for moving on fully and trying to forget them

Edited October 19, 2011 by Dblock10

[immitable]

I am really surprised you contacted her at all, wasn't she the one who dumped you?

 

She needs to miss you and in order for her to miss you, you need to be gone mate.

 

It is not your business what she has been doing in Vegas or anywhere else, what gives you right to control her, see she is going to do opposite if you don't let her be.

 

See, each time you contact her or say anything you are giving her the material to b**ch to her girfriends what a loser you are. In their eyes you are a bad thing which happened to her.

Need to go NO CONTACT don't give her and her friends any naterial to do so, give yourself time to heal and let her figure things on her own.

[Dblock10]

yeah i hear you man.

 

well she didn't really dump me, i guess it was mutual or expected given the circumstances. i hold a lot of regret about the break up though since there was still 2 months or so before she actually left but we were put into a ldr due to finishing uni for the summer. i basically wanted to know what she wanted, she didnt no or didnt say. and so i basically called it off thinking she didnt want it and to save myself getting dumped later or right before she left or worse whilst she was away, that didnt make me feel good like i thought it might as it quickly became apparent she wasn't fussed or seemed to bothered that we wouldn't be together. deep down i didnt want to break up so went to visit her, told her how i felt. but it was to late she had thought long and hard and decided to be single whilst going. she didnt want ties or the commitment of a relationship that could potentially ruin her travels if we argued.

 

but yeah ultimately she wanted to be free. or i guess she would have said otherwise right?

 

your right though. its non of my business and thats why you are right, i shouldn't even think about asking.

 

what i say will have little effect right now anyway. she has her own free will. she will do what she likes. and has done since moving on from me after she completed uni.

 

well the conversation went well and i ended it by saying i needed to go and was nice to hear from her.

 

you are right though. i do need to stay out the picture now.

 

we are friends on fb so really is it possible for me to be gone?

 

i doubt she will bitch about me to her friend tbh, her friend never even met me.

Edited October 19, 2011 by Dblock10

[fallenheart]

also i hate the fact that i worry if she has slept with someone else whilst on this travelling.

 

If she is even remotely attractive or slim, I guarantee you she's ALREADY slept with at least one or more guys on this trip. I bet you everything in my bank account.

 

She's young, free, visiting all the most exciting cities in one of the most exciting countries in the world....unless she's fat she will have dudes hitting on her CONSTANTLY. She doesn't have a care in the world...why the hell wouldn't she indulge?

 

Just a sad fact of life....women can get it any time, any place....all they have to do is show up. Different story for men though...

 

It's obviously going to eat you up and give you stomach ulcers for the next five months, so you should just bite the bullet and ask her. Get it all out in the open so you can move on with your life. Once you hear it directly from her, won't that kill all the doubts and hopes you are clinging to?

[Dblock10]

If she is even remotely attractive or slim, I guarantee you she's ALREADY slept with at least one or more guys on this trip. I bet you everything in my bank account.

 

She's young, free, visiting all the most exciting cities in one of the most exciting countries in the world....unless she's fat she will have dudes hitting on her CONSTANTLY. She doesn't have a care in the world...why the hell wouldn't she indulge?

 

Just a sad fact of life....women can get it any time, any place....all they have to do is show up. Different story for men though...

 

It's obviously going to eat you up and give you stomach ulcers for the next five months, so you should just bite the bullet and ask her. Get it all out in the open so you can move on with your life. Once you hear it directly from her, won't that kill all the doubts and hopes you are clinging to?

 

well i guess you summed it up well. seems like there is no option left other than to tell her my feelings? yeah it will kill all the doubts and hopes.

 

but it will make me feel bad if its true, which it is very likely to be.

 

but what if i dont bring it up and wait until she is back? its going to hurt no matter when i hear it i guess. so just need to bite the bullet then?

 

what if she hasnt? then what do i say

[fallenheart]

Do you LIKE how you feel now? Cause you're just going to feel this pain, or WORSE every single day for the next 6 months or whatever until she gets back. You'll have to live with that gnawing agony in your stomach all the time wondering if she is sleeping with guys and wondering if she will ever want to be with you again.

 

You already know the answer, deep down. You know it's been over....but you just can't seem to admit it to yourself.

 

So I guess you choose to let the doubts and hopes exist cause it's better to feel that pain every day than ACCEPT the truth that it's over?

 

Either way, it's gonna hurt. It's gonna hurt like hell when she tells you. But you just ask her to tell you everything right now, get it all out in the open. OR you could agonize over it in silence until you finally see her again someday and by that time there is no way she'll ever want to be with you.

 

It's like ripping off a band-aid.....do it all at once and have that short intense pain? Or slowly peel it off a little at a time and draw that pain out longer?

 

I can already see you are taking it slow...why?

[thatone]

so she's with her friends traveling to places where they can do whatever they want without immediate consequences, and she pointed out that her friend was about to f*ck a glorified cab driver. you know the answer to your questions.

 

let it go.

[R32]

My ex gf left to travel the world too. I wish we didn't attempt the long distance + me flying all the way to europe to visit her.

 

Let it go bro. If you keep contacting her, you're stroking her ego. That's what I did, and the amount of **** talking that was done about me was inscrutable. I know how you feel, you're trying to find any reason to contact her about anything.

 

Disappear off the face of the earth, and she may try contacting you when she's back.

[Dblock10]

My ex gf left to travel the world too. I wish we didn't attempt the long distance + me flying all the way to europe to visit her.

 

Let it go bro. If you keep contacting her, you're stroking her ego. That's what I did, and the amount of **** talking that was done about me was inscrutable. I know how you feel, you're trying to find any reason to contact her about anything.

 

Disappear off the face of the earth, and she may try contacting you when she's back.

 

i have been in contact a lot with smudge on these boards and i have come to the realisation finally to just go into nc and move on. its the best option for me. do you guys really think talking to her will stroke her ego? is she that shallow?

 

r32 you attempted it then, what happened? its funny how yours was visiting europe whilst mine did the opposite and it still sounds like you had problems.

 

what **** talking was done about you?

 

by the way guys i pulled the hottest blonde girl in the club last night. she is going on a ski tour that i am going on. but yeah little ego stroke for me. its good having freedom i guess with no one to answer to.

 

fallenheart you are right, i have accepted the truth. its over. no point digging. it serves no purpose.

 

thatone. precisely.

 

what if i do become a ghost and she then contacts me?

Edited October 21, 2011 by Dblock10

[thatone]

tell her she doesn't get everything she wants. and whatever she has in mind, the answer is no. then you can sleep well knowing you did her a favor by putting her in her place.

[fallenheart]

YES.

 

This is the most logical you've sounded since I've been reading your posts....you're finally getting it.

 

NO CONTACT.

 

 

Which means....NOOOOO.......EFFING......CONTACT!!!

 

 

She gave up the privilege of being a part of your life. If she ever wonders what happened to you....well boo hoo, that's too bad, cause it's none of her f^&%ing business.

 

Cut her off....end all contact....stop thinking about her......and start LIVING!!!!

 

And keep on pulling hot blondes in clubs and in no time you won't even be bothering to log on to this site!!

 

Godspeed man!!!

[ChelseaLS]

YES.

 

 

 

She gave up the privilege of being a part of your life. QUOTE]

 

LOVE THIS! Me and my... I guess ex are just starting a 6 month break to see how we feel and I need to hear this like this. It was initiated by him. I am not mad at him, just hurt I guess. He never cheated on me or anything, but I know I am worth it, sometimes I just need to be reminded and these types of quotes remind me. Thank you.

[R32]

By contacting her, it shows that you're still interested. That's what I mean by stroking her ego. When you contact her, you're basically telling her the ball is in her court. Whereas, if you disappear and start NC, she'll be wondering where you are, and what you're up to.

 

Mine was a total mess. She's changed for the worse. I wish I never spent that amount of money to go visit her. I would love to do Europe again...differently.

 

The **** talking was about how I'm a loser and she can do better etc.. How I can't let it go etc. I never even contacted her that often. I had legit reasons to contact as well. I think I phoned her maybe 2 times over the span of 3 months she had remaining in Europe.

 

Well, lookey look, now she's the one in tears phoning me every couple days.

[Dblock10]

yeah i remember saying to my ex how id go to oz to see her at x mas. she never sounded happy or frilled about that...

 

thatone, sounds a bit harsh but funny non the less

 

 

 

fallen,

 

i guess its because i feel there is nothing i can do now. its done.

 

problem is, she knows where i am, she knows i am at uni, she has me on fb and we have mutual friends.

 

but yeah i dont plan to break contact to talk to her now. if anything the ball is in her court. lets face it, if she meant what she said during that breakup im sure id have heard from her a little more than what went down there after.

 

plus even if we had stayed together, she isn't coming back in physcial proximity. she will be off again doing something else she even said she doesn't want to feel obliged to do anything revolving around me once she is back just to keep me happy. CHEERS... yet i was willing to wait 6 months for her to return. that says a LOT. i was a lover of convenience to her when it suited her. when it was no longer practical she gave up and moved on. selfish?

 

i dont hate her, i just feel like from now there isnt any point me contacting her. its needy and tbh its her loss. i am a great guy. ill share all i have to give with someone else eventually.

she can meet someone else and treat them how i got treated. with respect of course at the time, but when the situation changes for her, thats it. your out!

 

chelsea.. a six month break...

 

mine mentioned a six month break. i personally dont beleive in them, i first agreed to it, then said no. your either in or your out.

 

breaks are BS. no rules unless you make them, and its just a cowards way of breaking up but not fully making a decision, then you can just blame distance etc as the reason you drifted apart. or if they get with someone else then its aloud since you werent technically together. i did a break before and it bit me in the bum. hence why i dont do them.

 

r32

 

true, stupid thing is, a friend today brought up me and her as he didnt knw what happened i told him how she is travelling for 6 months, and he said, oh right, so you decided to leave it there. and i said well not really but i spoke to her the other day. and he was like "ah well at least you can keep in touch with her, so you never know what will happen when she gets back etc

 

and yeah this eats at me a little, as if i were to get a second chance i guess i do need to maintain contact. but tbh its far to much effort on my part when she clearly isnt bothering..

 

again she knows where i am, where i live, and has my mob number and facebook. i cant be a ghost. unless i delete her from my life. but i dont feel the need. i just feel at peace with being NC and not digging. as there isnt anything realistically i can do. i think it will be interesting to see if she ever does contact me again. but i wont be waiting. i will be out having a great time with new girls and new people to meet.

 

sorry to hear about your experience. you wish you didnt, but if you didnt go you would be wishing you did...

 

twice in months is pretty lc lol... so what are they on.

 

how do you deal with her calling you every 2 days? and what are you going to do about it?

Edited October 21, 2011 by Dblock10

[R32]

You're still going through the phase of "If I do this, maybe we'll get back together". You'll reach a point where you just start to accept that it's over.

 

I'm not against keeping in contact, however you REALLY shouldn't be contacting her. Remember, she's the one that ran away.

 

You should probably delete her off facebook so you won't be tempted to check. Thank god, mine blocked me when we broke up and just never took me off the block list.

 

I don't quite understand how you can't be a "ghost". Like I said, if SHE contacts you, that's fine. It doesn't matter if she knows your number, where you live, the time you shower etc. You shouldn't be contacting her at all unless there was a given circumstance.

 

NC, is strictly for your healing. If she contacts you during this period, great. If not, well you already made it this far. The way I see it, she won't be contacting you for a very long time. She's abroad, having fun. Unfortunately she has something to keep her busy. My ex never made an effort to contact me whatsoever after we broke up while she was still abroad. But when she came home, well that was a different story.

 

My ex gf's friends are by far the ****tiest/most unwelcoming people I have ever met. They think they're "jersey shore". No ****ing lie. One of them slept with basically all of Italy.

 

She just started phoning recently... like within the past week and a bit. I've spoken to her and what not, but I try to keep the conversation light. Whereas, she's bawling her eyes out. She has tried to talk to me on a more intimate level, however I always change the subject. Until she's single and ready to work things out, there isn't a reason to talk about "us".

 

Overall, I'm maintaining LC. She still has interest, but I think our timing is still off. She can contact me, but there's no way in hell I'll ever phone her. And when she does, I generally play it "cool". Which drives her kind of crazy haha.

[Dblock10]

no trust me i am not in that phase. she isn't coming back. its obvious.

 

I am not against it either and i have contacted her 3 time in 4 months. once was after 7 weeks of nc after going to see her and having the final talk. then once through a txt the day before she left and then once again when i saw her on fb chat and i decided to say hello. each time she has replied.

 

but yeah it shouldn't be me making all the moves. i cant be a ghost, if i delete her from fb she doesnt have her phone or the means to find out my number. fb is the only gateway to her at this point. its hard though as i still think she is the prettiest girl ive been with ever, just her smile makes me happy. and just her little ways

 

also deleting her now would be strange cause it wasn't a bad break up. either way it was her decision to go travelling whilst getting into a relationship. maybe she never wanted to make it official between us to. her attitude would reflect this the more i look at it. it was me who got attached.

 

the only times i have contacted her were because of a given circumstance. now there are non left. apart from x mass and new year etc. but even then, not worth it.

 

yeah i agree about her not contacting me for a very long time, and well thats fine. not going to wait for it. i assume she never will. yeah mine made no effort what so ever after we broke up. but thats totally normal behaviour for a girl who is ending a relationship.

 

just annoys me that i was naive to think she meant what she said at the breakup. "we should keep each other updated with our lives" pfft.

 

well i never met the friend she is with on this trip. but the fact she was getting with a tour guide well...

 

how long was yours away for? what is she actually saying to you? do you know if she got with anyone whilst she was away? how come you didnt move on in the mean time?

 

you say until she is single... so you are waiting for her to come out of a relationship? so how did that happen.

 

sounds like deep down you are the one who is more interested whilst she has you on a string.

Edited October 22, 2011 by Dblock10

[R32]

Ultimately it's your decision. I'm just saying, if she REALLY wants to contact you I'm sure she'll find a way. Even if you deleted her off facebook, she can still send you a private message. In my experience it was easier to just not have my ex as a friend anymore, so I'm not tempted to check. Also, if you KNOW it's OBVIOUS she's not coming back then why would it matter if you guys still kept in contact?

 

Just remember, she broke up with you because she didn't want strings attached while traveling. What does that mean? My ex gf threw me a bull**** reason when we broke up. And yes, she did hook up with someone else while she was still there. This was something she couldn't be honest about either. I'm not gonna say yours will too, but considering the circumstances, there is a high chance that she just wants to have fun. Otherwise, if she wanted to be committed to JUST you, then she would've.

 

What else is she supposed to say at the time of the break up? People say nice things to soften the blow. You're still being naive, by saying "facebook is the only way we have contact etc. But I'm not going to wait for her to contact me" Well delete her ass then, and start moving on.

 

In total mine was away for 6.5 months. We were broken up/apart for 2.5 of those months. I actually did move on, and did make good progress until she came home and before I found out the **** she did on her trip. She was the first to contact me when she arrived back, and then again for the rest of our outings. I never once initiated contact with her. We agreed to just be friends, but as we started hanging out more our feelings resurfaced.

 

I'm not waiting on her to come out of the relationship at all. I'm just merely saying, there isn't a point to talk business if it's not going anywhere. Why try to hit on a girl that's in a relationship? Regardless of this situation, I'm still living my life day to day and moving forward.

 

I'd be lying if I said I was completely over her. Truth is, I'm not. However, I'm not showing her these feelings whatsoever. I'm not the one contacting her at all or getting wishy washy when she phones. I reply to her text messages like 3 days later, and generally ignore her calls with the exception of twice. I don't see how she has me on a string?

 

The first time she broke NC, she was crying the entire time on the phone. We caught up with each others lives, and I asked her why she was crying. She wouldn't admit why. Then she proceeded to tell me she's been crying for the past 2 weeks we were NC. She says she knows she shouldn't be phoning me but just needed to.

 

The second time she cracked again a few days later... She was nervous for her job interview with RIM/Blackberry. She told me via text I was the only one who makes her feel better when she's really nervous. We spoke on the phone where I congratulated her and told her she'd do fine. She starts crying again, and tries to get onto a more intimate level. She told me she missed me and that she's scared of being away from me. I steered the conversation away, but she kept bringing it up. Then asked me if I missed her too. Again, tried to change the subject but she asked again so I answered "I do, but I'm getting over it..and so should you". I told her this is what she wanted, and she should be happy. She agreed, but she's not.

 

That pretty much concludes our conversations. She texted me again last night, which I ignored.

 

Hope that answers all of your questions.

[Dblock10]

this is true. if she really wants to she could some how. i mean i know she will be back but coming back and wanting to be with me i feel is 98% not on the cards. she will probably want friendship.

 

yeah she didnt want strings or worries or anyone to answer to. im pretty certain mine will or already has. but like you say she will just want fun, she wont be looking for any form of relationship esp whilst travelling. and yeah otherwise she would have wanted to be committed to just me. but she obv didn't!

 

end of the day i cant blame her per say. she is young graduated and travelling the world with her single best friend. just i hate how it all went wrong for me from my point of view and how she just moved on and didnt look back at all or ask about my ill nan. i found that cold.

 

of course she said nice things at the time of the break up, she didnt want to come across as a dick.

i am moving on regardless of wether she is on my fb or not. if it becomes an issue for me i'll make that do or don't decision at that time. it wont be planned. it will be spontaneous and because i want to. Since she is all blocked etc i cant see anything anyway.

 

so what reason did yours give? i assume you both stayed in touch for 3.5 months until it went wrong? via skype? and how did you find out about this **** on her trip then?

 

sorry i didn't know your story, you are not on any string then, it seems like she regrets it now. funny how the table turns once they come back down to earth and are not living the dream anymore.

 

she seems very emotional, you were nc for 2 weeks and she was crying... well mine was nc with me for 7 weeks and was obviously fine with that since i saw her on fb a few times but she never said hello. until i cracked and spoke to her.

[R32]

Mine gave me a wad of bull****. About how she wanted to stay single because she wants to leave to go across North America to work for a certain company for co-op etc.

 

Yeah we talked everyday on fb or skype before I left to visit... and before we officially broke up.

 

She had one friend whom I started talking to, and she kind of told me a few things to say the least.

 

My ex ain't so tough with the bitch attitude anymore, now that her crew isn't here.

 

Yes she is VERY emotional. She's been trying to contact me for a few days now...... I got a phone call a few hours ago again...

[Dblock10]

well, feeling kind of hopeless again.

sorry

 

I feel down that she isn't coming back and things cant be how they once were even if she did. it would be different, better or worse no one can tell.

 

how do i move on from this? how do i stop thinking about her and wanting her back, is it even possible, without deleting her from my life completely?

 

is there anyway possible i can get her back or somehow find out if there is any chance? would the only way be that i try again once she is back? or maybe if i got the chance to talk to her again on fb i could maybe tell her i still care about her etc.

 

its like some of the stuff i would want to say is now far too late to say. i mean if i was to say, i'm surprised this is what happened between us etc and that i thought you would have wanted to continue what we had going.. she could/would think i'm needy, pathetic, lonely, weak male, unsure of myself.

 

what would i at this point achieve by saying things like that to her. she must have known this is how i felt anyway.

 

this is all taking up far to much energy from me and i just want it to stop.

 

i cant handle thinking that she doesnt care anymore or stopped caring about me as soon as she decided to wanting to not being in a relationship.

 

yeah im confused

[fallenheart]

well, feeling kind of hopeless again.

sorry

 

I feel down that she isn't coming back and things cant be how they once were even if she did.

 

This is true. She is never coming back and things will never ever be how they once were. You really should start thinking about her as if she died and she was buried and you mourned, but now it's time to move on with your life.

 

it would be different, better or worse no one can tell.

 

Wrong. Wouldn't be different, better, OR worse....cause it would NEVER HAPPEN. Wondering what it would be like if she came back would be like wondering what unicorns taste like. Total waste of time to sit around and wonder about things that can never be.

 

how do i move on from this?

 

 

First, you have to REALLY want to. You obviously don't want to. You like the misery of it all.

 

how do i stop thinking about her and wanting her back,

 

You decide enough is enough and you move on with your life one day at a time.

 

is it even possible, without deleting her from my life completely?

 

Absolutely not. Not a freaking chance. Everyone on this forum has already told you this a hundred times. You will never ever heal until you let go of her COMPLETELY.

 

 

is there anyway possible i can get her back or somehow find out if there is any chance?

 

No. No no no no no. She's gone. She made up her mind and she's never coming back.

 

would the only way be that i try again once she is back? or maybe if i got the chance to talk to her again on fb i could maybe tell her i still care about her etc.

 

If you contact her one more time you're gonna cross the line into realllly creepy. And you won't have to worry about deleting her cause she's gonna block you.

 

 

its like some of the stuff i would want to say is now far too late to say. i mean if i was to say, i'm surprised this is what happened between us etc and that i thought you would have wanted to continue what we had going.. she could/would think i'm needy, pathetic, lonely, weak male, unsure of myself.

 

If she still thinks about you at all, she probably already thinks these things about you. But that doesn't matter. All you really need to know is that she no longer feels about you the way she used to. So accept that, and move on.

 

what would i at this point achieve by saying things like that to her. she must have known this is how i felt anyway.

 

You achieve nothing except possibly creeping her out to the point where she thinks you're some kind of pathetic stalker with a scary obsession instead of a nice guy she used to date once that didn't work out.

 

this is all taking up far to much energy from me and i just want it to stop.

 

If that were true, you'd have stopped it. You are perpetuating this misery for some reason and you're the only one that knows why, and you're the ONLY one that can end it.

 

i cant handle thinking that she doesnt care anymore or stopped caring about me as soon as she decided to wanting to not being in a relationship.

 

That's the crux of it isn't it? Your denial that she rejected you. It stings. I know...I let myself wallow in denial for YEARS while I've watched exes go on to marry other men. And in my mind, I was creating these fantasies where they still loved me just a little bit...maybe...

 

It's just inability to accept reality. Rejection SUCKS. But she rejected you and you'll have to come to terms with it if you ever want to meet a girl that WON'T reject you.

 

yeah im confused

 

Yes, I can see that...but I've totally been where you are and all my friends and family were so frustrated that I was living in a fog and refused to see reality. It took a LONG time...and now I look back and the only regret I have is wasting so much of my life pining away and worrying and thinking about girls that had long since moved on. There is nothing romantic or tragic about it....just pathetic. I wish I hadn't been so pathetic. It's normal to grieve a little while...but wallowing in misery and depression is not going to change anything.

 

How long are you going to do this to yourself?

[smudge21]

"Yes, I can see that...but I've totally been where you are and all my friends and family were so frustrated that I was living in a fog and refused to see reality. It took a LONG time...and now I look back and the only regret I have is wasting so much of my life pining away and worrying and thinking about girls that had long since moved on. There is nothing romantic or tragic about it....just pathetic. I wish I hadn't been so pathetic. It's normal to grieve a little while...but wallowing in misery and depression is not going to change anything.

 

How long are you going to do this to yourself?"

 

This is perfectly said and I think applies to many people on here. Sadly we all go through this and it takes us different times before we're finally healed and can see the relationship for what it truly was.

 

No one will knock you for feeling bad about all this Dblock, but it's you that has to take the steps to heal you.