yeszombie Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 He's not married but he has a girlfriend who is pregnant too - due this month. He's also my boss and today I found out I'm about three weeks pregnant. What am I meant to do now? I am devastated that I'm in this mess. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yeszombie Posted October 19, 2011 Author Share Posted October 19, 2011 I had taken the morning after pill by the way. Not that it's helped. Link to post Share on other sites
DepressedinDenver Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 You 3 kinda deserve this mess if are dumb enough to not have safe sex. You took the morning after pill because he didnt wear a condom probably. Thats why most people use it. So you either not keep the baby or keep it. And he has 2 different kids the same age from 2 different mothers. And so will be the days of those kids lives... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 I had taken the morning after pill by the way. Not that it's helped. Well, I suggest you go see your family Dr asap and deal with this in a medical facility instead of turning to the morning after pill. In some way you've already made the decision.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yeszombie Posted October 19, 2011 Author Share Posted October 19, 2011 No he wore one but it came off and he said he 'didn't notice', although I don't see how he couldn't notice? I'm not a guy, I don't know how it feels but I'd imagine you'd notice? Anyway. That's irrelevant, I'm not dumb (condom - my idea, map - my idea) but what's done is done. I'd have two kids by two different men - he'd have two kids by two different women. It's a mess. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yeszombie Posted October 19, 2011 Author Share Posted October 19, 2011 Well, I suggest you go see your family Dr asap and deal with this in a medical facility instead of turning to the morning after pill. In some way you've already made the decision.. The Dr was the one who prescribed me the morning after pill - the day after the condom fell off. I didn't take it the day I found out I was pregnant, today, if that's what you thought. Just to clear that up. Link to post Share on other sites
SoMovinOn Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 My first thought... not really relevant, but ... man, a guy would have to be awfully small for a condom to fall off, or, he'd have to be lying about it. Anyway, I think your decision to take the morning after pill indicates you're not opposed to aborting the pregnancy. If that is correct, I suggest you do so asap, and have him pay for half of it. If he won't, pay for it yourself. After that, go see your doc again about getting on the pill, an IUD or some other birth control method which *you* control. ... and remember, none of them is 100% effective. Link to post Share on other sites
Choose Life Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 Think about you, do you want to be a mum again? I think you need to make the decision for you, because I have a feeling, that as soon as this guy finds out, you will be on your own :-( Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 My first thought... not really relevant, but ... man, a guy would have to be awfully small for a condom to fall off, or, he'd have to be lying about it. Not true IME. I've always used condoms as my main BC method, and I've experienced the same as the OP a few times (the condom slipping off). Usually the man wouldn't notice, at least not immediately, regardless of the size of his penis (my ex was on the large side). OP, I don't really have any advice for you but I'm sorry you're in this situation and I wish you luck in reaching a decision. Link to post Share on other sites
no expectations Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 Hey YZ...of course you are devastated. Anyone would be. I'm sure you are terrified and feel very alone. IMO, shaming you or telling you what you should've done, etc. is no help to you at all as you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube. How many of us can say that we have prepared for a pregnancy as an outcome each and every time we have ever engaged in sex? Sometimes people get pregnant using every precaution and other times people cannot get pregnant no matter what lengths they go to. I happen to have gotten pregnant while on the pill AND using a condom as a back up method so please don't beat yourself up and don't listen to those that readily beat you up. Do you have a girlfriend or family you can confide in? Right now, more than anything, you need someone to lean on who will listen and not judge you. You can't walk this road alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 The first thing you need to do is to make the decision about whether you will carry this baby to term, or have an abortion. Then you need to decide, if you have the baby, if you will consider giving it up for adoption, or not (I'm not advising this, just presenting it as a potential option). I assume the "dad" knows he's got a pregnancy on his hands. He sounds like a real doozy of a guy … can he afford to provide for two separate households & two kids who will have the same needs at the same time? Link to post Share on other sites
woinlove Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 Yes, I'm sorry to hear you have an unplanned pregnancy. I know you posted that you had an abortion after getting pregnant unexpectedly with an earlier bf. That must make this all the more painful. Whatever you decide, you can come out of this with more resolve to take control of your own life. I agree with SMO that you should get medical attention right away and make sure you chose a birth control method in the future that you have control of, even while using condoms, which is definitely a good idea in any case with a man who is cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
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