xxoo Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 So you would rather believe in a lie than believe in reality? That is the problem with this world. Too many people want to believe in a fantasy than actually look at reality. Even if this story is as sweet as it seems these kind of people are the last of a dying breed. I was joking! A joke! Hence the ! Gosh, ya'll are so uptight....it's a happy thread! Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Even if this story is as sweet as it seems these kind of people are the last of a dying breed. My elderly grandmother tells me that my generation "invented nothing" when it comes to sex and infidelity and all that "smut". She's shared stories about a spinster inlaw who was a spinster because she gave her youth to a married man. And of babies being concieved between boarders and housewives when husbands were finding work away from home (during the Great Depression). Nothing new under the sun. Link to post Share on other sites
Afishwithabike Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 My elderly grandmother tells me that my generation "invented nothing" when it comes to sex and infidelity and all that "smut". She's shared stories about a spinster inlaw who was a spinster because she gave her youth to a married man. And of babies being concieved between boarders and housewives when husbands were finding work away from home (during the Great Depression). Nothing new under the sun. Elderly grandmothers are the best, aren't they? On another board, a poster regaled us with how her grandmother said to her "You young people think you invented butt sex? You didn't!" :laugh: Back to the topic, I guess I must be a lame mushball because I found the story moving. Hope I never get develop such a hardshell that I can't see the beauty in such stories. Link to post Share on other sites
frozensprouts Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 It doesn't matter to me how people feel about the story. People are entitled to feel it's sweet. I am entitled to say it isn't. I don't have to hold my opinion back just like they don't have to. It's a free country; I can say what I want. agreed...but you've made your point, everyone knows this kind of thing does not appeal to you, now why not move on and let the people who do find it appealing enjoy it? btw... what kind of story would you find appealing and "sweet"? Just wondering. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki82 Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 For those all cynical about this story: You're right, they probably HAVE gone through hard times. They were together way too long NOT to have difficult times together. But when you say dying together doesn't mean they were happy, you're missing the point. The point is they were side by side HOLDING HANDS. No relationship is perfect, but when you go and assume the absolute worst out of a relationship, you most likely set yourself up for failure in your own relationships. If you only assume the worst in people, you'll always be alone. But hey, maybe that's what you want. Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 While some can imagine that their marriage was full of heartache, cheating and abuse....I can imagine it was just an ordinary existence of two people who truly wanted to be with each other. No brain washing, forced servitude or threats of any kind. They lived as happy a couple and died as a happy couple, that is a blessing that many would treasure. Indeed. For those all cynical about this story: You're right, they probably HAVE gone through hard times. They were together way too long NOT to have difficult times together. But when you say dying together doesn't mean they were happy, you're missing the point. The point is they were side by side HOLDING HANDS. No relationship is perfect, but when you go and assume the absolute worst out of a relationship, you most likely set yourself up for failure in your own relationships. If you only assume the worst in people, you'll always be alone. But hey, maybe that's what you want. Their children also explicitly stated that both had, on separate occasions, said they didn't want to die without the other, or live on without the other. Surely that is indicative of overall contentment? Their family couldn't be privy to every detail, but they do remember love, and laughter, and the couple died holding hands. My grandparents were married for over 60 years of sheer misery. My grandfather was violent, controlling, and a pedophile, with all that entails. My grandmother, married at 14 and poorly educated, was moved across the country away from everything she knew. She watched her children being hurt and felt trapped. When she was elderly and ill, she finally told us all how much she hated him, asked us to put her in a home so she could die in peace away from the man she was married to. I'd say I'm pretty well acquainted with the notion that the length of a marriage doesn't necessarily imply any joy. But if you automatically assume that every long marriage was a hellish and miserable prison, that says a lot more about you than about the actual marriages in question. It's a sad revelation. My parents have been married for over forty years now and they've had their struggles but overall they're very content. Best friends, still have sex, enjoying their retirement together taking art classes and docenting at museums, doing volunteer work and traveling around the world. My mother has said to me privately that she hopes they go together suddenly some day--her worst fear, after something happening to me or her grandkids, is that my father will pass and she will have to live on as a widow. That is the example my husband and I are following in our own marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
vsmini Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 (edited) Well, even if it is not about my family I don't find them dying together sweet. It makes me GAG. It doesn't mean they were happy. I don't know why people think old people are so sweet; they aren't. Serial killers eventually turn old too. Old couples dying together doesn't move me. Chances are that they were miserable when alive. I find nothing endearing about this couple and yes I watched the video. Ok - we're all really impressed with how cynical you are. I'm sure in your own limited view of the world you think you're just being very realistic about things but I find your posts pathetic. It's one thing to be cynical but quite another to act as if you claim to have all the answers and know what goes on behind every relationship. You might as well go so far as to call all family and friend relationship facades as well. You just sound like you got hurt or are so afraid of getting hurt that you're putting up the world's biggest (and most miserable) wall to block out love and anything optimistic. Build that wall, honey - we're not interested in seeing the person behind it anymore. Edited October 21, 2011 by vsmini Link to post Share on other sites
sunshinegirl Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 That story got me a little teary eyed myself. My husband brought The Notebook over to my place one night when we were dating; we were both crying by the end. We have since said that that's how we want to go - together, not one of us leaving the other behind. I have a cynical streak myself, but on this kind of thing, I'm not jaded. I feel incredibly blessed to have this kind of love in my life; it really does exist. I don't have a crystal ball to know what will happen to us after 70 years but I hope we are holding each others' hands when it's time to go. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Indeed. Their children also explicitly stated that both had, on separate occasions, said they didn't want to die without the other, or live on without the other. Surely that is indicative of overall contentment? Their family couldn't be privy to every detail, but they do remember love, and laughter, and the couple died holding hands. My grandparents were married for over 60 years of sheer misery. My grandfather was violent, controlling, and a pedophile, with all that entails. My grandmother, married at 14 and poorly educated, was moved across the country away from everything she knew. She watched her children being hurt and felt trapped. When she was elderly and ill, she finally told us all how much she hated him, asked us to put her in a home so she could die in peace away from the man she was married to. I'd say I'm pretty well acquainted with the notion that the length of a marriage doesn't necessarily imply any joy. But if you automatically assume that every long marriage was a hellish and miserable prison, that says a lot more about you than about the actual marriages in question. It's a sad revelation. My parents have been married for over forty years now and they've had their struggles but overall they're very content. Best friends, still have sex, enjoying their retirement together taking art classes and docenting at museums, doing volunteer work and traveling around the world. My mother has said to me privately that she hopes they go together suddenly some day--her worst fear, after something happening to me or her grandkids, is that my father will pass and she will have to live on as a widow. That is the example my husband and I are following in our own marriage. I wish I grew up with parents like this. My paternal grandparents were like this. She went five years before him but he was never the same after she passed. How my father picked a woman like my mother after seeing that is beyond my understanding. Link to post Share on other sites
Sparty97 Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Jeez, the poor bastard never got away... Link to post Share on other sites
sunshinegirl Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 You realize that in the "Notebook," the heroine Allie cheats on her fiancee Lon by having sex with her lost love Noah, don't you? That's actually quite a horrible role model for a relationship. But hey, modern love, "Bridges of Madison County," Franchesca rocks, I get it. In real life, a woman like Allie--a cheat--would most likely have gotten bored of the lower class Noah after the initial sexual thrill wore off, and a couple of years down the road would have been cheating on him, too. LOL, when I wrote that comment I had completely forgotten that part of the storyline. Yeah, I'm not condoning the cheating aspect (I've been cheated on and it totally sucks). That aside, I could appreciate the way they were together at the end of their lives, still had a lot of love for each other, and died together so neither had to live without their other half. That's the part we hope we get to experience. Link to post Share on other sites
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