almondeyes101 Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 Hi everyone, I am just looking to connect with people who can understand appreciate what I am going through... LDR is hard:cool: So here is my story (or part of it) I left my home town 2008 to further my career in Asia... I met the love of my life in University but we never connected then... It was only in April 2009 that we met up on msn and started chatting... By december we were in a relationship. We chatted every day, Fridays was our movie night (i dont like movies but spending time with him is awesome) I went home to visit him in 2010 pretty exciting we got along we fought but i was pretty good... I was broken hearted that i had to leave so I didnt communicate alot with him before I left and when I got back to Asia it was worse... He said that he thought i was breaking up with him but i was not i am just bad at sharing feelings:o... but we kept going then this year i went home again to visit and it was fantastic... time to leave again i tried not to repeat what happened last year so i called and called and talked and talked... but it was mostly to his answering machine... he says he is not getting my calls skype phone nothing... I repeatedly told him my issues and how not answering the phone makes the distance between us seem further but his only reason is that he is not getting any calls form me... I called my parents my best friend and other people they all get my calls... when i tell him this he says that i am calling him a liar... our relationship now is down to skyping maybe once every two weeks... (I don't call him anymore) When he calls it usually when he is leaving his office and cant stay long or i have to go to work (Since we are 13 hours apart in time) point is our conversations are the most 10 mins long... this makes me sad... I cant help but think about this situation every day would be nice to have some feed back on what people going through this or been through this is doing Sorry its so long guys...Hope to hear form someone:laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
adam029 Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 i dont wana sound harsh almondeyes but once every 2 weeks contact is just not enough to keep a long distance relationship going....my ex gf (long distance as well she lived in america and i in australia) we used to talk on the fone 3-4 times a day, facebook when i could when i was at work and maybe skype once every 2 weeks.....it was good at at the time but because she couldnt physically be with me when needed, she couldnt handle the long distance anymore so she ended it and it still kills me to this day (5 months later) i hope everything works out for you.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author almondeyes101 Posted October 20, 2011 Author Share Posted October 20, 2011 once every 2 weeks contact is just not enough .... I know its not good enough... How do I get him to see that? Its almost 2 years now, I don't understand getting to this point and letting it fall apart. Did you allow your relationship to fall apart or did you fight for it and how did you decide that it was all worth the trouble or not? Thanks for your comment:) Link to post Share on other sites
adam029 Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 ohhh i did fight for it but there is not much a guy can do when she cuts off all contact apart from text messaging saying that its all over and then find out that she has started to see another guy.....i just felt helpless because im over here and she is soooo far away from me especially that she knew exactly how i felt about her.....i didnt feel any less of a man compared to him its just that he is fortunate enough to live in the same area......if i lived closer by it would be a completely different story but hey its her loss......as they say 'if its meant to be, its meant to be' Link to post Share on other sites
Author almondeyes101 Posted October 20, 2011 Author Share Posted October 20, 2011 i didnt feel any less of a man compared to him its just that he is fortunate enough to live in the same area......if i lived closer by it would be a completely different story but hey its her loss......as they say 'if its meant to be, its meant to be' I have always said that if he found someone in his neck of the woods that he was interested in getting to know I would step back... Now I don't know what has changed in our relationship but if he is indeed seeing someone I don't know if I can step back... How come it's so darn hard to just forget him and move on, I feel like I have to move on in order to preserve my sanity but yet here I am going crazy What am I going to do if its not meant to be??? Shouldn't this be a no brainer because of our distance??? Link to post Share on other sites
adam029 Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 im finding it very hard to move on because i have never felt so connected with a girl in my whole life, we loved and respected each other....in my case i just think my ex is just too young (she's 23) and she was always changing her mind about so many things....hopefully in time she will realise the mistake she has made but in the mean time i cant wait around for that to happen......and you never know but in the future when youve moved on with ur life u cross paths totally unexpected and hopefully everything that was against you has fallen into place.... my fave quote is 'anything can happen' Link to post Share on other sites
Author almondeyes101 Posted October 21, 2011 Author Share Posted October 21, 2011 hopefully in time she will realise the mistake she has made but in the mean time i cant wait around for that to happen......and you never know but in the future when youve moved on with ur life u cross paths I want him to realize the mistake he is making NOW so he won't have to wait to cross paths with me to see that he messed up! But alas I can't want more for someone than they want for themselves... I know you must have really loved her (thats kind of obvious) but why didn't you move to america or her to Australia or was that not an option? Link to post Share on other sites
adam029 Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 well the plan was for her to move to oz in june next year since she had already been and loved it, we spoke about it all the time and she said she really wanted to come but as i said she was still fairly young and still had university to attend to (it was her last year) but she looked into universities here in oz to complete her masters degree...so it was all in the pipeline but as i said she changed her mind all the time, which happens when ur still young and havent actually been in the real world e.g. stable job, experience travel etc...i looked into going and living there but its almost impossible to get work there in the states Link to post Share on other sites
LDR234 Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 it take two people to make it work. I would say that you should move on cuz he is not puttin in the effort. Like the saying goes, "out of sight, out of mind"--it's easier to let him go if you see him anyway...I can't be with my bf because of our current careers. but he will be moving a few years for his job again so we will be together then... Link to post Share on other sites
Author almondeyes101 Posted October 22, 2011 Author Share Posted October 22, 2011 it take two people to make it work. I would say that you should move on cuz he is not puttin in the effort. Like the saying goes, "out of sight, out of mind"--it's easier to let him go if you see him anyway...I can't be with my bf because of our current careers. but he will be moving a few years for his job again so we will be together then... I hear that but like I asked Adam... How do I just let go of two years... I don't know why he is not calling, I don't know what's going on with him, I don't know why we are where we are, I just don't know and for me to let go of this past two years I need to know... (that make me sound pathetic huh:o) Our communication is crap right now... My fault? Maybe partly cause I don't call him any more (not like he answers and that's my justification for not calling:o) so may be like you said it takes two and right now I don't know one or both of us are not putting in the effort! When you say you cant be with him do you mean like you guys took time off or that you physically cant be with him but you are still in a healthy working relationship? (and yes I am aware you referred to him as your b/f but still i ask:o) :love: Link to post Share on other sites
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