2long Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Once again, Nick: You know she's just making this stuff up as she goes, don't you? You know you can't believe anything she says because her lips are moving when she speaks, don't you? Actions speak. Words don't. I think it will take her a very long time 2 show you through actions that she's got a sincere bone in her body, if she has any. And by the time she does, if she ever does, you may have figured out what you want and what you can achieve when you're not paralyzed by fear of the fu2re. The signs you should expect 2 see that she's ready 2 2rn her life around and do whatever it takes 2 restore your trust in her as a wife and mother are pretty easy 2 spot. From what you've told us, she's given none of these signs. I doubt she can. -ol' 2long Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 The only thing f'd up is that you tolerate it. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 What are the odds that somehow, someway, YOUR baby got "switched at birth" with someone else's child in the hospital, and you "just happened" to figure out via a paternity/maternity test because your wife is cheating now and has cheated before? Versus the odds that she cheated before, got pregnant, but either didn't know or didn't care who the father was because you were there to take care of her child? Come on. If you're willing to buy her story...I'd really like to discuss some possible land ventures with you. She's searching for any "out" she can find, no matter how remote it is...and you're willing to give her that out. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 Nick, there's a really easy way to solve all this. Two steps. Have her sign a postnup agreement giving up all rights to ANYTHING if you ever find proof of her cheating, in order for you to keep her. And have her take a polygraph. If she won't do these two simple things that would PROVE SHE'S TELLING THE TRUTH...then she's not telling the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 Holy Christmas! This is getting stupid!!! Regardless if she was "raped", (which she wasn't in my opinion), regardless of the paternity or the maternity test. YOUR WIFE!!! THE ONE THAT PROMISED HERSELF TO YOU AND YOU ALONE SLEPT WITH AND WAS INTIMATE WITH SEVERAL DIFFERENT MEN!!!!!!! That's NOT a marriage, that's NOT a wife and that's NOT love! Your marriage is a lie! You have no marriage! I doubt if she was EVER faithful to you! You were a warm body, a babysitter, security blanket and a paycheck! Sorry for being blunt, but do you know why your other thread was shut down? Because people were giving you good SOLID advice on what to do whether you stayed in the marriage or not. And you dragged your feet for MONTHS!!!! NOW YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!!!! Okay, so you caught her in ONE affair, and you exposed the fact that the kid isn't yours...that's about it! Does your family know what's going on? Does her family know what's going on? Doubt it.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nickster1 Posted October 26, 2011 Author Share Posted October 26, 2011 Holy Christmas! This is getting stupid!!! Regardless if she was "raped", (which she wasn't in my opinion), regardless of the paternity or the maternity test. YOUR WIFE!!! THE ONE THAT PROMISED HERSELF TO YOU AND YOU ALONE SLEPT WITH AND WAS INTIMATE WITH SEVERAL DIFFERENT MEN!!!!!!! That's NOT a marriage, that's NOT a wife and that's NOT love! Your marriage is a lie! You have no marriage! I doubt if she was EVER faithful to you! You were a warm body, a babysitter, security blanket and a paycheck! Sorry for being blunt, but do you know why your other thread was shut down? Because people were giving you good SOLID advice on what to do whether you stayed in the marriage or not. And you dragged your feet for MONTHS!!!! NOW YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!!!! Okay, so you caught her in ONE affair, and you exposed the fact that the kid isn't yours...that's about it! Does your family know what's going on? Does her family know what's going on? Doubt it.... I'm not dragging nothing again,. I did act, but slowly. I confronted her about the cheating, i confronted her about the child. AND my family does know everything today, I told them. Her family doesn't know expect one person that I guess she trusts. Even to him she told only what she told me....not the truth. She told him about the rape...And I don't think he even believes her about that. She doesn't know that my family knows and wants nobody to know. She is very afraid / embarrassed to tell this to her family. She can't break her image of a nice woman to her family. I wouldn't be surprised if some in her family would cut her out if they were to know the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nickster1 Posted October 26, 2011 Author Share Posted October 26, 2011 Owl, The odds of swapped baby are probably 0.000001% and the odds that she cheated and got pregnant from the OM are probably 99.99999%. We will find that out in couple of days... What kills me is the "either didn't know or didn't care who the father was..." So that means that either she is the most stupid woman ever or the most evil ever. Pick my poison.... turnera, I'm disgusted by her. I don't think i can be with her even if she signed her life over. That paper would be worthless. I can't even come close to thinking about kissing her ever again... I'm just thinking and looking for a way to untangle myself from this mess in the best possible way. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 I wouldn't be surprised if some in her family would cut her out if they were to know the truth. So, hows that your problem? You didn't do this! She did! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nickster1 Posted October 26, 2011 Author Share Posted October 26, 2011 So, hows that your problem? You didn't do this! She did! I never said it is my problem.... Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 I'm just thinking and looking for a way to untangle myself from this mess in the best possible way.Well, that's easy then, isn't it? Hire the lawyer, sign the papers, and move. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 Well, that's easy then, isn't it? Hire the lawyer, sign the papers, and move. Exactly! At this point you shouldn't even be concerned about the things she did, the lies she tells, or anything else about her. If you accept your son as yours, just worry about getting custody of those kids. Why are you still talking to her????? Link to post Share on other sites
rowell2024 Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Dude, you busted her blowing the OM. You were previously outside the door of the room of her hotel listening to her in the throes of ecstacy with the OM the other time. What else is there to say? Yeah, you're moving slowly, slower than at a snail's pace alright - which serves no purpose. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 In the back of my mind as I see the exact same cut and paste posts between here and Chat cheaters I am reminded of another member here we had back last year whom Nickster reminded me of...and that sadly goes to dprtman09...anyone else remember this guy? Nickster are you dprtman09? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t214617/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nickster1 Posted October 28, 2011 Author Share Posted October 28, 2011 In the back of my mind as I see the exact same cut and paste posts between here and Chat cheaters I am reminded of another member here we had back last year whom Nickster reminded me of...and that sadly goes to dprtman09...anyone else remember this guy? Nickster are you dprtman09? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t214617/ No, I'm not dprtman09. I never posted about this subject. Maybe I should have back 5-6 years ago...That would have saved me a lot of pain... should have ....would have.... Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 So...do you have an appointment with a lawyer? Link to post Share on other sites
country_gurl Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 So...do you have an appointment with a lawyer? strange he hasn't posted the results of the 'maternity test' that was only supposed to take 3-4 days to get. Link to post Share on other sites
rowell2024 Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 strange he hasn't posted the results of the 'maternity test' that was only supposed to take 3-4 days to get. I know. Since my W is still not 100% certain or at least she's acting like it...we decided to do a maternity test. She somehow does not believe that she got pregnant from that man at that time...and since it is not mine...maybe it is not our baby all together...I know it is beyond crazy, but I guess we will find that our in 3-4 days... Seriously, what does this have to do with her cheating? OM is the father. A maternity test? What the hell for? You've seen her pregnant. They tag the baby with the ID wristband the moment they are born, before they even wash the infant to ensure babies don't get switched. Why are you even entertaining this stupid idea of hers? This is just more deflection! Kick her to the curb already and expose her. The fact that you're even doing this stupid thing like getting a maternity test shows that you're willing to play her game and being weak and needy. Man up already. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 In the back of my mind as I see the exact same cut and paste posts between here and Chat cheaters I am reminded of another member here we had back last year whom Nickster reminded me of...and that sadly goes to dprtman09...anyone else remember this guy? Nickster are you dprtman09? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t214617/ I'm starting to believe this as well. The cuckolds don't want to do anything about their cheating wives except report their activities to LS and hopefully get some sympathy. It's really sick. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nickster1 Posted October 30, 2011 Author Share Posted October 30, 2011 First, I don't have yet the results...probably be Monday. Why did i do the test??? Simply because some doubt was presented and i wanted to get this out of the way. Didn't want to guess or think or whatever. As I said before there is a 0.00001% chance that the child was "swapped"...After the test results it would be 0%. It doesn't change anything about the cheating... The magnitude and length of cheating is beyond my reasoning. I already forgave her once, I will NOT forgive her again. I believe we will find a way to part ways the "nice" way. I say nice, since i think it would be the best for the kids... Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 First, I don't have yet the results...probably be Monday. Why did i do the test??? Simply because some doubt was presented and i wanted to get this out of the way. Didn't want to guess or think or whatever. As I said before there is a 0.00001% chance that the child was "swapped"...After the test results it would be 0%. It doesn't change anything about the cheating... The magnitude and length of cheating is beyond my reasoning. I already forgave her once, I will NOT forgive her again. I believe we will find a way to part ways the "nice" way. I say nice, since i think it would be the best for the kids... So...do you have an appointment with a lawyer yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nickster1 Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 So...do you have an appointment with a lawyer yet? I think we are going to settle this without lawyer. I already have all the paperwork (custody). For the sake of the kids, we will behave... Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 So you're going to proceed with a divorce without either of you engaging a lawyer, under the assumption/expectation that both of you are going to "play nice for the kids"? Link to post Share on other sites
2long Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Nick: You should see a mediator at the very least. My wife and I went 2 one in 2005. Since we'd been married so long, it made sense. But we were getting along well, so there wasn't any adversarial relationship. The mediator was a lawyer, and if you go 2 one, you should make sure that they're a lawyer or retired judge or something similar. Mediation can save you considerable money, because the mediator is representing both of you. Ours said that mediation would probably cost us ~$5K, versus something like $30-50K if we hired our own lawyers, based on what we'd have 2 settle. Mediation (or working alone without representation), won't work if you're going 2 haggle over property, custody, spousal support, though. My si2ation was nothing like yours at the time we went 2 mediation. I wouldn't even think of divorcing a marriage in the condition yours is in without a lawyer. -ol' 2long Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nickster1 Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 I think we both understand that there's a lot more to lose than to gain. Especially paying lawyers. Despite all that happened (to me, by her) I still have feelings, and sometimes i even get to a point where i feel sorry for her... You know that feeling that you hear a small kitten on the streets crying for shelter and food, and you feel sorry for it, so you pick it up and feed him. Am I crazy? Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 So does that mean you're divorcing (but doing so without a lawyer to protect your own interests)? What are you DOING at this point? What's your plan? What steps are you actively taking? What's CHANGING? Link to post Share on other sites
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