Why women love bastards, rakes and players?

[xxoo]

Mylonely, do you believe that most young women experience and stay in abusive relationships?

 

I don't believe that is a typical experience for young women. Common, yes, but not the norm. Most young women struggle with relationships just as most young men do, but are not abused.

 

A quick google search will provide an enormous amt of information about the reasons some women stay in abusive relationships.

[Mrlonelyone]

Sadly the domestic violence stats I cited earlier say many young woman are in abusive relationships. Closing our eyes to these issues only serves to perpetuate them.

 

The problem with the Googleable stuff on the internet is that, generally, it does not look at the womans free will too choose a man or leave a man. It also never considers things like this.

 

The book "Prone to violence" by Erin Pizzey.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Prone-Violence-Erin-Pizzey/dp/0600205517

 

According to this book, by Pizzey a female social worker who dealt in domestic violence, A certain number of women who get into these relationships are violence prone and provoke whatever an they are with into abusing them.

 

That's the kind of thing one finds on the internet and in books. Does that sound credible to you?

 

If this topic bores you no one forces anyone to read it.

[xxoo]

There are excellent sources on the net to help victims of abuse. Many of them are hosted by domestic violence centers.

 

The topic does not bore me. But I take the topic very seriously, having helped friends extricate themselves from truly abusive relationships.

 

But the typical young woman's attraction to BR&P has little to do with women who stay in abusive relationships. Equating them undermines the seriousness of abuse. I've know many young women who dated jerks. I've only known a few who were abused.

[Mrlonelyone]

IDK. I mean all things being equal the kind of men I described here are more likely to be abusive. Sure plenty of high status men do it too... but on an average day at the court house very few of the domestic violence perps are lawyers and doctors.

 

I'm sorry if that seems like making lite of it to you. It isn't.

 

 

The connection may not be obvious to you, and I have tried explaining it. I guess seeing patterns in the seeming chaos is what I'm good at.... sort of my job.

 

Questioning the questionable choices we see here can't be limited to men like "One Goal".

 

If the question "why men like 'bitches'" is a fair one, so is mine.

 

 

I've know many young women who dated jerks. I've only known a few who were abused.

 

Ah there's the misunderstanding. So called "nice guys" can be bastards, rakes and players. They only think they are nice, when in reality they are bitter and so when they can mistreat women they do. While guys who seem jerky to everyone else can be decent behind closed doors.

 

That is what the so called "nice guys" who complain on here don't get.

 

See I told you this wasn't just another nice guy vs jerks whine thread. Just approach it without prejudice and you will see that. (Heck I called myself a rake. "nice guys" dont admit that about themselves).

Edited October 27, 2011 by Mrlonelyone

[Mme. Chaucer]

The connection may not be obvious to you, and I have tried explaining it. I guess seeing patterns in the seeming chaos is what I'm good at.... sort of my job.

 

I'm sure everyone can understand perfectly. I'm sorry, but from a reader's point of view, this thread seems more like making chaos out of something straightforward.

 

A "nice guy vs. jerk" thread really is not the place to trot out the plight of women in abusive relationships in an effort to make your point. It touches too close to home for many of us.

[stillafool]

 

And lawyers almost never get divorced.

 

Why is that?

[somedude81]

The only real thing I can get out of participating in a thread like this is

 

Women are stupid

 

And that's not obviously true so I just stay away. I'm bitter enough already: I don't need to add more fuel to the fire.

[Mrlonelyone]

If that's what you get then that's your own misinterpretation. If anything from the title on down this thread is negative on men for being bastards, rakes, and players who use women much more than the women who are sometimes taken in by them.

 

Here is my original post

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=3687555&postcount=1 Where I said.

 

Women, especially and particularly young women, choose bastardly Jerky bad boys because those men attract the most attention to themselves.

 

Bastards have everything that a emotionally immature mind thinks is important.

 

Then I list things like a flashy car, or indications of being "street smart" like a petty criminal record.... Basically I describe that one type of guy that many women date once, then never again. Most women learn from the mistake... some never do.

 

Just as some men choose bitches again and again.

 

 

TL;DR No one has said or implied that all women are stupid. I have said that young women, and emotionally immature women of any age*, are just that, immature. They lack seasoning and are poor judges of character due to youth, inexperience, and perhaps lack of guidance.

 

*A funny, fictional, example of a emotionally immature woman of an old age Blanche Deveraux from "golden girls" who acted like a 20 ish woman at the age of 65. No longer a "cougar" as cougars aren't old enough to need denture cream.

Edited October 27, 2011 by Mrlonelyone

[somedude81]

Immature, stupid, same thing.

 

The fact of the matter is, I'm chasing girls in their 20's and having no luck doing so.

 

To hear why a woman chooses some as*hole over me just reinforces the belief that she's an idiot.

[Mrlonelyone]

Stupid is not the same as immature. Plenty of mature people are stupid, and plenty of immature people are smart.

 

i.e. Take a 17 year old child prodigy who gets a PhD from harvard..... is he mature because he has a PhD? (I know PhD's at 70 who are not emotionally mature).

 

Take a 35 year old with only a GED but he's traveld the world and seen and done plenty and had a few succesful LTR's. Is he immature because he has less education?

 

You don't have to take my word for these things

 

http://thesaurus.com/browse/immature

 

Main Entry: immature  [im-uh-choor, -toor, -tyoor, -chur] Show IPA

Part of Speech: adjective

Definition: young, inexperienced

Synonyms: adolescent, baby, babyish, callow, childish, crude, green*, half-grown, imperfect, infantile, infantine, jejune, juvenile, kid, kidstuff, premature, puerile, raw, sophomoric, tender*, tenderfoot, underdeveloped, undergrown, undeveloped, unfinished, unfledged, unformed, unripe, unseasonable, unseasoned, unsophisticated, untimely, wet behind ears, youthful

Antonyms: adult, developed, experienced, grown, mature, old

 

 

http://thesaurus.com/browse/stupid

Main Entry: stupid  [stoo-pid, styoo‐] Show IPA

Part of Speech: adjective

Definition: not intelligent; irresponsible

Synonyms: brainless, dazed, deficient, dense, dim, doltish, dopey, dull, dumb, dummy*, foolish, futile, gullible, half-baked, half-witted, idiotic, ill-advised, imbecilic, inane, indiscreet, insensate, irrelevant, laughable, loser*, ludicrous, meaningless, mindless, moronic, naive, nonsensical, obtuse, out to lunch, pointless, puerile, rash, senseless, shortsighted, simple, simpleminded, slow, sluggish, stolid, stupefied, thick, thick-headed, trivial, unintelligent, unthinking, witless

Notes: stupid refers to lack of ability while ignorant refers to lack of knowledge

Antonyms: cognizant, intelligent, responsible, smart

 

Don't put words in my mouth.

[somedude81]

 

Don't put words in my mouth.

I didn't. And you completely missed the point of my post.

[Mrlonelyone]

If you think women are stupid then you say that on your own. Don't claim I did when I didn't.

 

Plenty of women don't choose aholes. To be honest dude you sound depressed, clinically. You need to see a psychiatrist with medication and therapy you could be right as rain in a month or two.

 

[somedude81]

If you think women are stupid then you say that on your own. Don't claim I did when I didn't.

Once again, I didn't.

 

When I said that immaturity = stupidity, I was talking about how I see things. I believe that a grown women being immature is just her being stupid.

 

Plenty of women don't choose aholes. To be honest dude you sound depressed, clinically. You need to see a psychiatrist with medication and therapy you could be right as rain in a month or two.

 

I've been in and out of therapy for years and been on medication. Didn't do anything for me.

 

Now if a doctor could prescribe me 20CC's of pussy, then I'd be fine in no time

[Shaun-Dro]

If you think women are stupid then you say that on your own. Don't claim I did when I didn't.

 

Plenty of women don't choose aholes. To be honest dude you sound depressed, clinically. You need to see a psychiatrist with medication and therapy you could be right as rain in a month or two.

 

 

If the ******* has charm and a way about him, most of the women will put up with him, in hopes that maybe she can work on him later. I've seen this time and again in all my 33 years of life and it won't change; it's just rinse and repeat with no success.

 

Like I said before, women only steer clear of the jerk/lowlife when she's just too old to be bothered anymore, late 30s or early 40s. She's not the desirable dame she once was, so why should any decent man give her a shot at happiness she purposely avoided in her younger years?

[Mrlonelyone]

They can. It's called sex therapy. It's a real and legitimate thing and from what I hear it works. It was profiled on the National geographic channel.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_therapy

 

@Shaundro

 

If the man was a wild man himself in those years he should be open to the kind of woman he was wild with. IMHO.

Edited October 27, 2011 by Mrlonelyone

[stillafool]

Like I said before, women only steer clear of the jerk/lowlife when she's just too old to be bothered anymore, late 30s or early 40s. She's not the desirable dame she once was, so why should any decent man give her a shot at happiness she purposely avoided in her younger years?

 

I guess it is because alot of women are still quite goodlooking at that age and men just can't help themselves. Do you date women of that age or do you only date women in their 20's?

[Mrlonelyone]

If you are thinking what's in the title of this thread today please reread this from the beginning.

 

It's a hard and uncompromising message but it seems to be true. Just as some men are terminally into vacuous bimbo's some women are every attracted to one bastard, rake or player after another.

 

Instead of directly shouting at someone why don't we let them hear an honest discussion of the kinds of men they are tangled up with.

 

Some of the ladies here don't like that. Me thinks it's because it hits close to home for some of them.