Did you act, look pathetic after being dumped?

[mike588]

To all of us dumpees here, looking back on it now did you act or look pathetic after being dumped?

 

Did you sent flowers, call, text , email 50 times a day, go to his/her work just to talk to them,, drive by their place to see if his/her car was there and all the other stuff some dumpees do?

 

I'm so glad I didn't do those things and if you are STOP!

 

When she dropped "the bomb " on me and told me it was over (she was going back to her ex) I did get upset, tears rolled down my face, didn't cry like a baby (Thank God) we talked alittle more then I gathered up my stuff and left.

 

That was 3 months ago, sent 2 emails, got a response, 2 1/2 months later not a peep from her.

 

Did you do any of the above things and now regret it?

[USMCHokie]

Yea I was pretty damn pathetic...but not in the same way you describe...I didn't do anything towards her...I just did everything I could to feel sorry for myself and make everyone elsr feel sorry for me...I was a mess...

[momto3boys]

I was pathetic and called him constantly. I still find myself calling him a few days in a row, but not because i miss him or want him back but because i am so torn on if i want him to be there during my delivery of our baby. I try to call him to talk to him often about this because i feel like if i knew how he felt it might make me decision easier. i dont wanna make a decision ill regret or will hurt my baby or cause anymore drama that i dont need and i dont want to make any decisions outta anger. But last time we talked he snapped at me and made me feel pathetic by saying "do you get bored just sitting at home that you need to call me everyday?" ( i called once a day for 3 days in a row after being NC for 2 weeks trying to decide if i wanted him there for the birth) so after he said that i have not called anymore. I am just gonna enroll in to counseling again to make the decision through a counselor instead of him.

 

I do regret it some only because he has made me feel so pathetic.

[thatone]

one email and one string of texts over ~5 minutes a day or two after. that was it.

 

mostly because she was constantly interrupting any response i had in the breakup conversation. screw that, she doesn't get to talk and not hear a response, she doesn't make the rules, street goes both ways. i did offer to say what i had to say in person, she refused, so she got it in the last text. no begging, simply pointing out facts.

 

that was the end, nothing since.

Edited October 21, 2011 by thatone

[Buttercup84]

I must be the worst . I cried in front of him like an idiot and had a breakdown . Emailed him , wrote letters , sent presents and even money . God I'm pathetic . Even arranged for groceries to be sent. Never going to melt down like that again .

[mike588]

I must be the worst . I cried in front of him like an idiot and had a breakdown . Emailed him , wrote letters , sent presents and even money . God I'm pathetic . Even arranged for groceries to be sent. Never going to melt down like that again .

 

Ouch Buttercup!

 

The important thing is you learned from your mistake/s. We both know each others stories and I wish you love and happiness!!

[ken_25]

I must be the worst . I cried in front of him like an idiot and had a breakdown . Emailed him , wrote letters , sent presents and even money . God I'm pathetic . Even arranged for groceries to be sent. Never going to melt down like that again .

 

Ouch. I actually found arranged groceries to be sent quite humorous I'm sorry. I have never heard of someone doing that after a break up. You'll probably look back and laugh at that some day buttercup.

 

Anyway, a couple days after my ex dumped me, while she was at work I put some flowers on her car. Then that same day I wrote this letter to her and put it on the bed with a rose and 3 rose pedals on top. I had rose pedals leading from the hallway entrance to the bed, and then pedals leading from the bed to the closed closet door, behind the door was chocolate. I had 3 candles going along each line of rose pedals, in the middle was my favorite framed picture of us with a candle illuminating it. I was in the living room when she came home to find it, she came out and kind of shaken said "I really appreciate that but I don't want to talk about it" so I kissed her on the forehead and walked away. She later cried.

Edited October 21, 2011 by ken_25

[mike588]

Ok she cried later,, then what?

[ken_25]

We started actually talking about it, i cried while pouring my heart out somewhat calmly. She said she didn't know what to do, but she didn't want to give me hope. We then drove up to the store to get some gingerale because of her upset stomach. I don't quite remember what happened for the last few hours of the night.

[mike588]

We started actually talking about it, i cried while pouring my heart out somewhat calmly. She said she didn't know what to do, but she didn't want to give me hope. We then drove up to the store to get some gingerale because of her upset stomach. I don't quite remember what happened for the last few hours of the night.

 

After my now ex told me I somewhat calmly told her how much I loved her, how I couldn't believe this was happening while tears were rolling down my face.

 

She tried to hug me but I said no,, no please don't so she didn't. I then grabbed my stuff and left and I don't remember the drive home or what happened much after that either.

Edited October 21, 2011 by mike588

[ken_25]

After my now ex told me I somewhat calmly told her how much I loved her, how I couldn't believe this was happening while tears were rolling down my face.

 

She tried to hug me but I said no,, no please don't so she didn't. I then grabbed my stuff and left and I don't remember the drive home or what happened much after that either.

 

 

That's good you were able to walk away and go home. I still lived there and chose to stay in that enviornment, which only continued to strip me down more and more. Thankfully I found LS about 5 days or so after she broke it off.

 

The night she broke up with me I didn't even cry. I tried to persuade her back, she said she didn't know what to do. After about 2 hours I took a shower and laid in bed, I couldn't sleep one single wink. Got up and went to work, it was a very draining day to say the least. I took her down by the water that night, we kissed, I took her hand and she slow danced with me for a couple minutes. Drove home, pretty much passed the hell out. I was up for like 36 hours straight.

[infinity8245]

I remained pretty composed during the breakup. We were living together and when she came home and dropped the bomb (officially, a fight the night before certainly eluded to it) she came with her father to pick up a couple things so she could leave for a couple of days. She came into the office where I was, said something along the lines of "yeah, we're done, we're breaking up." I nodded and said, "OK" and then just sat there staring at my computer screen for a while as she collected her things. She then came into the office, said goodbye to our dog (technically MY dog, so I kept her), and then left.

 

Over the next couple days, we had limited contact and we discussed a little bit about what happened between us. I never begged and never pleaded. I saw her once in person a few days later as I was picking up my things from the apartment and we talked for a while and gave each other our sides of the breakup. I may have gotten a little bit misty eyed, but I was definitely more composed than she was during this time. During our conversations, I definitely mentioned hoping that we could work things out in the future and she shared that hope. By the end of the week, I had moved out and our only contact was to figure out when the other one would be at the apartment so we could avoid each other.

 

In hindsight, maybe it would have been best not to mention getting back together, but given the circumstances (which were exceedingly complicated) the topic seemed appropriate to bring up. We still have a few things we're clearing up in regards to the old place and she is supposed to be sending me some of my things. She already started dating someone else, so for me that was a clear sign to make myself especially scarce...more so than I had already been. Over the last week she kept contacting me and trying to get me to pick up my things in person. However, I have been adamant that she should just mail my things, and have come up with reasons (some real and some fabricated) for why I cannot meet up with her. I have no intention of being her doormat. It's clear that she is trying to come up with reasons to see me, but I won't let her yank me around like that. The way I see it, I'm either all the way in her life as a significant other, or I'm not in her life at all.

 

She can't delude herself into thinking she's over me by dating someone else a month after we split up. We were together for over four years and marriage seemed like it was just around the corner; we even discussed it. There's no way she healed in a month. But in any case, I won't be there for her anymore at this point. If she wants to have a serious discussion about our relationship in the future, she can initiate that, but she can't dance around the issue that she is trying to press.

 

This breakup hurts more than anything I've ever experienced by far, but at least I have my dignity and I'm mature enough to face the pain instead of choosing the easy way out and looking for a rebound.

[Scirok]

Ooooooo ya I win this thread I'm not afraid to admit it I made to complete ass of my self big time Facebook messages, hand written letters, flowers, begging, crying like a p**** infront of her multiple times and blowing up her phone also having her friends talk to her for me and her mom and then begging for her after I found out she's been banging this other guy sad hahaha but I loved her I guess but I'm pretty sure I ruined all chances of her coming crawling back cause she saw how hurt I was plus she's never been able to keep her legs closed for more then a week after she leaves or gets dumped. I'm Begining to think girls can get over there exs ALOT faster then guys can if they are sluts

[BrettLost]

Scirok,

 

Im not ashamed either. It's what i felt, it was real, i let it out the way it was intended. I was grasping desperately at my entire life coming undone.

 

Panicked crying, utter disbelief, begging.... then she left.

Constant calling, texting, snooping, the flowers, pretty much offering her ANYTHING, pathetic really. Now I see my self worth was pretty much non-existant.

 

Mind you, she was still stringing me along with "having a break n we'l see" BullSht. So I was led a little. Should have manned up n said Fk this, Fk off then.

 

But my kids.... for them i felt the duty to fight for a together family for them to live amongst. So i did what it took to possibly achieve that, sad that it was never going to be enough to overcome her selfish will.

[69ways]

Cried in front of her, begged,called like maniac, travelled with flowers to her country, valentines gifts, cd with love songs......

 

nothing worked.

 

4 months now, i stop going after her an she calls and aks if i am single, saying i am the man of her life and other actions indicating she is not over me...

 

Told her to leave me alone....

 

Go figure

[ffw]

She broke with me by writing a letter since we were doing LDR. Basically, she broke up because she fell out of love & fell in love with another guy. She blamed everything on me. The problems were:

 

1) My commitment: Last couple of months, I got myself into the comfort zone. This led to lack of communication &

2) She got tried of waiting for the future. She always wanted to get marry to me but I never proposed.

 

So, after 3 days, I wrote her my last letter expressing my feelings. I wrote her that I accept my mistakes & apologised. Also, if she still has a place in her heart & ready to forgive me, I will marry her this year. Its been more than 6 weeks & we didn't exchange 1 word.

 

Not sure about regert, but I guess I just planted an seed in her mind. Time will tell whether it will work or not.

[Buttercup84]

Ouch. I actually found arranged groceries to be sent quite humorous I'm sorry. I have never heard of someone doing that after a break up. You'll probably look back and laugh at that some day buttercup.

 

Anyway, a couple days after my ex dumped me, while she was at work I put some flowers on her car. Then that same day I wrote this letter to her and put it on the bed with a rose and 3 rose pedals on top. I had rose pedals leading from the hallway entrance to the bed, and then pedals leading from the bed to the closed closet door, behind the door was chocolate. I had 3 candles going along each line of rose pedals, in the middle was my favorite framed picture of us with a candle illuminating it. I was in the living room when she came home to find it, she came out and kind of shaken said "I really appreciate that but I don't want to talk about it" so I kissed her on the forehead and walked away. She later cried.

 

Haha yeah it is weird.But we lived together and when I moved out he was left alone with all the bills and having to buy food.He said he was struggling so I arranged for things to be delievered , food he likes and headache tablets because he gets migraines.I also sent him a camping set haha.

[Buttercup84]

@Ken , what you did was so romantic and sweet.Move to Australia ? hehe

[soulforge2010]

she finished it by text message, did i beg? did i plead? did i make an ass of myself? HELL NO!

 

i just read the text, and instantly deleted her number. she even sent me a text wanting some kind of response from me, but i did not say a word, which probably troubled her somewhat.

 

2 months on.... i have not texted her, or mailed her, or contacted her in any shape way or form.. i have kept 100% no contact.

 

 

2 weeks ago, i received an email from her, i did not even bother reading it, clicked on delete instantly. i don't think she was pleased about being ignored, so over the week, she sent me 4 more emails, which i also totally ignored.

 

why? because my healing process is more important to me, then what this person has got to say.

 

never beg or plead, just work on your selves & get better & find happiness with someone who really wants to be with you.

[Majkl]

I broke down, cried, begged, pleaded. We do have a small son and I didnt want a family to be ruined. Then I stayed at the apartment for 2 more days, crying, begging, pleading before I finally left. I couldnt accept it... Week after again broke down, begged online pleaded, tried to reason with, tried to explain, tried to grief... Nope.

Kept going for a month like this until she lost it and said 100% no chance I just showed her 100% how she doesnt want to be with me etc. Eventually after recieveing so much hurt I backed off .... I still want her back. I win prize for patheticness.

[ken_25]

On my way Buttercup.

[shayla]

My ex put a ring on another womans finger while we were together, so I was furious. He was working out of town and calling me talking about not being able to wait to see me when he got back, how I was the only woman in his life, blah blah, all the while me knowing he had done this to me. Two weeks later the happy bride called me after I sent her a facebook message about his and our relationship and how we were still together.

 

She told me all about his cheating (besides her) since he told her all about his background. He told her that he had several girlfriends before he met her (obviously all during our relationship) and that we had broken up the month before they met (another of the many lies he told).

 

So. When she confronted him, he sent me an email full of lies talking about how we had been broken up for a long time, and that we needed to get on with our lives, and sorry he took my two years....so of course I figured out that she read all his emails and he had to keep up the lies he had already told her.

 

I sent him a bunch of scathing emails, detailing how badly he treated me, how his new fiance told me all about his cheating, all the lies he told and I forwarded an email to her that he wrote professing his undying love to me, right before he put the ring on her finger. I didn't know his email address so I sent it as a reply to an email he had sent to me a few months before talking about how we had made love and how much he loved me. I also offered to send her a nekkid (yes I said nekkid) picture that he sent to me from his phone with the date, time and phone number. After that I unleashed my fury on Facebook, with my family all over the country replying about how low he is, hilraious...if they didn't read my page, they would not know.

 

The blushing bride went absolutely ape sh*t, so I guess she had been reading my page. Whew boy....after that she changed from being his wife to his jailer . She has called me so many times (wrong number) and she has put up her son and daughter to do it as well. She has had several facebook meltdowns since then. Oh, I guess she thought she wasn't going to be spending alot of her nights home alone like I did for three years, ROFL

 

Right after their wedding I ran into someone that my ex introduced me to the year before, and we started dating. My ex sent me a virus a month after my father died, and bf called him and confronted him. After that conversation, my ex had a facebook meltdown, dozens of status updates talking about how much he loooooves his wife.

 

Yeah, it was a mess, but mostly for him and his wife, as it should have been. You create a messy situation, I will go into the rachet zone.

[ken_25]

Haha yeah it is weird.But we lived together and when I moved out he was left alone with all the bills and having to buy food.He said he was struggling so I arranged for things to be delievered , food he likes and headache tablets because he gets migraines.I also sent him a camping set haha.

 

That guy made out like a bandit.

[ken_25]

My ex put a ring on another womans finger while we were together, so I was furious. He was working out of town and calling me talking about not being able to wait to see me when he got back, how I was the only woman in his life, blah blah, all the while me knowing he had done this to me. Two weeks later the happy bride called me after I sent her a facebook message about his and our relationship and how we were still together.

 

She told me all about his cheating (besides her) since he told her all about his background. He told her that he had several girlfriends before he met her (obviously all during our relationship) and that we had broken up the month before they met (another of the many lies he told).

 

So. When she confronted him, he sent me an email full of lies talking about how we had been broken up for a long time, and that we needed to get on with our lives, and sorry he took my two years....so of course I figured out that she read all his emails and he had to keep up the lies he had already told her.

 

I sent him a bunch of scathing emails, detailing how badly he treated me, how his new fiance told me all about his cheating, all the lies he told and I forwarded an email to her that he wrote professing his undying love to me, right before he put the ring on her finger. I didn't know his email address so I sent it as a reply to an email he had sent to me a few months before talking about how we had made love and how much he loved me. I also offered to send her a nekkid (yes I said nekkid) picture that he sent to me from his phone with the date, time and phone number. After that I unleashed my fury on Facebook, with my family all over the country replying about how low he is, hilraious...if they didn't read my page, they would not know.

 

The blushing bride went absolutely ape sh*t, so I guess she had been reading my page. Whew boy....after that she changed from being his wife to his jailer . She has called me so many times (wrong number) and she has put up her son and daughter to do it as well. She has had several facebook meltdowns since then. Oh, I guess she thought she wasn't going to be spending alot of her nights home alone like I did for three years, ROFL

 

Right after their wedding I ran into someone that my ex introduced me to the year before, and we started dating. My ex sent me a virus a month after my father died, and bf called him and confronted him. After that conversation, my ex had a facebook meltdown, dozens of status updates talking about how much he loooooves his wife.

 

Yeah, it was a mess, but mostly for him and his wife, as it should have been. You create a messy situation, I will go into the rachet zone.

 

A messy situation may be an understatement. That's crazy, I'm sorry that happened to you.

[radiodarcy]

Yea I was pretty damn pathetic...but not in the same way you describe...I didn't do anything towards her...I just did everything I could to feel sorry for myself and make everyone elsr feel sorry for me...I was a mess...

 

i did the same thing. i never made any attempts to contact him. but i would spend the weekends in bed, crying and watching movies or sleeping.

 

i rarely combed my hair and if i did venture out of the house i would wear a hat, an old coat, a dirty pair of pink fake fur boots and my pajama pants with cows printed on them. yeah - - it was a people of wal-mart moment.