TxGemini84 Posted May 18, 2004 Share Posted May 18, 2004 So ok, heres the deal.I have liked this guy for over three months now. We used to hang out every weekend and now only sometimes. He has told me he doesn't want a relationship but sometimes he acts like we are dating when we are really not. Since he doesn't want a relationship. I am not going to sit around waiting for him to want one you know? So, I dont hang out with him as much and I mean we are still friends but we don't talk as much at work either. But a couple of Mondays ago we were all at his house playing cards and some other stupid game and we watched a movie, there he cuddled with him and acted like we were dating I had someone even ask me how long we had been together. Everyone noticed it. So, on saturday when i went to work, he asked me what I was doing that night he wanted to hang out I said I had a date he got kinda mad. Sunday morning he calls me like around 11:30 he knows i'm working hes just calling to say hi or whatever. He never calls me. And then he gets jealous when this other guy at work flirts with me in front of him. If he doesn't want a relationship with me why is he acting like this? I am moving on but everytime I get over him he does somethign like this to make it seem like I have a chance but I don't. The guy i went out with saturday everything went great we have talked on the phone every day since. I just don't know what to do... can someone please help me? Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted May 18, 2004 Share Posted May 18, 2004 Everybody has different expectations about what "a relationship" or "dating" entails. It would only take a few minutes to say what you expect - exclusive, Saturday nights reserved, 3 nights a week - whatever, and then negotiate. It seems feelings get hurt because two people had different ideas and never compared notes. Link to post Share on other sites
TxGemini84 Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 Thanks for helping me, but see he has said he just wants to be friends hes never consider us as dating or whatever. I just dont understand why he gets so jealous when he wants to be only friends with me? Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 I've gotten jealous of someone I'm dating now myself. For me it was the fear that she would no longer talk to me, and lose interest. I quickly realized this was foolish of me to think. Besides, the one date her friends set her up on ended horribly. I suppose sometimes mixed feelings come up when you aren't exclusively dating someone. I do recommend that you discuss what dating is. Someone I date now does not want an exclusive relationship, and did not know what I wanted from her until I explained my views on dating. Fortunately we came to an agreement and things have been mostly fine since then. Of course, bad creeps up here and there, but oh well. Just be sure to discuss what you want, and what he wants. Then, if you can meet somewhere in the middle go ahead and do so. Just be sure to know what to expect from one another and fully discuss this before you get into anything. The guy obviously likes you, but isn't communicating what he wants, or might want but just isnt ready or comfortable with just yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 Maybe you should sit him aside and straight up ask him. Be like...Um, you dont want a relationship with me, so why get jealous? IF you wanna be friends, just be happy that we're friends, and be happy when I'm happy. that's what friends DO! Sounds like he needs to be put in check to me. Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 I am moving on but everytime I get over him he does somethign like this to make it seem like I have a chance but I don't. It could be any number of reasons but often people who behave like this just like to be in control and will do exactly what you expect them not to in order to keep you guessing and keep you dependent. This sounds to me like a power game. The other possibility is that he's very insecure and goes off you the moment you express interest in him because he doesn't like himself very much, or he's just scared of a relationship. You could discuss it with him honestly but if he's evasive then try and forget him. There are plenty of other people out there who will not mess with your head this way. Link to post Share on other sites
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