jfxxxx Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 its officially over, but it feels to me like he still cant let go. here are a list of things he has done very recently (last week and last night). please help me with my situation and what he wants. - he said he'll always love me. - he's got really defensive when guys touch or talk to me, or when guys stare at me. for example last night he saw a guy looking at me and he was like 'i swear if he carries on loooking at you, im gonna kill him.' he also got defensive when i took his ring off that he bought me (not marriage, just a gesture), and when i told him to take his stuff back.. he refused. - he cuddles me like he always has done. last night he kept cuddling me from behind. - he tries to kiss me most of the time. - i tell him were friends, we cant do such and such and he says 'well were a bit more than friends' and i say 'but were not in a relationship' then doesnt answer. - he kisses me forehead, cheek and neck. - he says he will always be attracted to me and kept complimenting me last night on how good i looked. - he panics when i make jokes about other guys. - he says that my body is still his, and no one elses. - he said to his best mate that he gets the impression that he misses me but doesnt want to admit it. these are the main things that come to my head. please help me out - where is his head at? do i have a chance of reconcilation? Link to post Share on other sites
John123 Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Sounds like he's just a d-bag. He wants you all to himself without any commitment...Tell him to eff off until he decides what he wants. Tell him he can either have you 100% or none at all. Ultimatum time!!! Link to post Share on other sites
TheDovic Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 This is classic behaviour from an ex who wants to see what else is out there, whilst keeping you around as a backup in case he doesn't find someone he thinks is better. He is being extremely selfish as he wants to have his cake and eat it too! The more you let him do these things the more comfortable he's going to be looking for someone else knowing you'll be waiting for him. If you take away this comfort it might make him freak out and stop playing silly games with you! Link to post Share on other sites
whenitsmyturn Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 I totally agree with them...I am going thru the same thing with my ex...I had to block him from everything, because I am done with him, and his games....Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
shayla Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 It's an ego boost for him to know that you are still into him. I would tell him to choke on that cake he's eating and I'd not see or speak to him again....but that's me, you may have your reasons for wanting to be his friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Zabs Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Hmm. very grim view guys... Could it not be also that this guy is scared of committment because of previous experiences (which shows a lack of maturity and reluctance to be known) Could it be a person is aware of the power another has over them and does everything to retain control? Could it also be that he already knows he has platinum (because there is no chance he will find better than you) but because of a and b...has to resort to these type of manipulation tactics to ascertain your feelings without showing his? The references you have made, DO relect the opionions of Dovic and above..however, we cannot always be sure on motive. One thing I would suggest is to carry on as you are ie; enjoying your own life...don't be waiting around questioning every nuance of what 'HE' might be thinking. IMHO, he already KNOWS your worth but because you don't this will continue for time to come. The reason I know this is because I am very similar to you in terms of ecxperience..but my story is much more complicated so is not cut and dried. But the one thing I have in common with you is that my Ex pretty much knows I am not the promiscuous type...but the joke is...I am that way inherently...not on his account..bless the poor sausage! I really don't give a f**k what he does, because it will not force my hand to do anything. I have much more important matters on my plate at the moment... The fact he is TRYING to get my attention ALL the time and CANNOT leave me alone at all, still protects me, spies on me, sees off any competition...plus a m,ultitude of other things...tells me all I need to know..but like I said, I eally am not bothered. If he could give me a diagnosis for my condition, perhaps I would be more interested in what he had tosay...lol Go on some dates honey! Enjoy attention...as long as that attention isn't looking for a lay...be inspired, be wonderful, be YOU xxx Zabs xx:D Link to post Share on other sites
Author jfxxxx Posted October 21, 2011 Author Share Posted October 21, 2011 Hmm. very grim view guys... Could it not be also that this guy is scared of committment because of previous experiences (which shows a lack of maturity and reluctance to be known) Could it be a person is aware of the power another has over them and does everything to retain control? Could it also be that he already knows he has platinum (because there is no chance he will find better than you) but because of a and b...has to resort to these type of manipulation tactics to ascertain your feelings without showing his? The references you have made, DO relect the opionions of Dovic and above..however, we cannot always be sure on motive. One thing I would suggest is to carry on as you are ie; enjoying your own life...don't be waiting around questioning every nuance of what 'HE' might be thinking. IMHO, he already KNOWS your worth but because you don't this will continue for time to come. The reason I know this is because I am very similar to you in terms of ecxperience..but my story is much more complicated so is not cut and dried. But the one thing I have in common with you is that my Ex pretty much knows I am not the promiscuous type...but the joke is...I am that way inherently...not on his account..bless the poor sausage! I really don't give a f**k what he does, because it will not force my hand to do anything. I have much more important matters on my plate at the moment... The fact he is TRYING to get my attention ALL the time and CANNOT leave me alone at all, still protects me, spies on me, sees off any competition...plus a m,ultitude of other things...tells me all I need to know..but like I said, I eally am not bothered. If he could give me a diagnosis for my condition, perhaps I would be more interested in what he had tosay...lol Go on some dates honey! Enjoy attention...as long as that attention isn't looking for a lay...be inspired, be wonderful, be YOU xxx Zabs xx:D thankyou for this insightful comment. i know everybody else and their comments mean well, and i can see where they are coming from but i know he actually does care about me and that he's not putting on a front of any sort. yes, im scared of being his bit on the side but im more scared that he knows how he feels about me and is trying to fight the feelings off. do guys tend to withdraw themselves? i dont know what to do, im devasted but i know we have an amazing chance in the future if he just opened his heart to me again. is the guy your having trouble with still your ex? do you want him back by any chance, and how do you make him chase the way he does? i pray i have a success story to tell. xxxxxx Link to post Share on other sites
Zabs Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 I am not well atm honey so this will be short just now... I don't do anything.. My ex has BP like me and like many relationships, there are always people who like to sabotage happiness... In my view, my ex wants all he wants but isn't prepared to let himself be vulnerable again...he can't go more than a week without calling, spying and all other types of weirdness...he harbours old pics of me on his phone and sends them to me and currently...he is telling the world that he is widowed! LOL You do the Math Don't run after him..you will set yourself up for heartache..he needs knocking down a peg or teo and after all...we did have a heartbeat before we met them Xhat soon hun x Zabs xx Link to post Share on other sites
mike111 Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 these are the main things that come to my head. please help me out - where is his head at? do i have a chance of reconcilation? He sound like he is obsessing over you and being very controlling. If it's over, and this is want you really want, then go "no contact" with him. And hopefully he will leave you alone. And the part where he says your body belongs to him really creeps me out. That's obsessive. mike Link to post Share on other sites
immitable Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 he wants you to be his f... buddy, you have to be really silly to allow that to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
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