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Opening Up Old Wounds


CopingGal

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Okay, so my ex called me last week. I could not believe it. I was so happy...at first. Then he told me that the things he did to me, his new gf did to him. This was the woman he BRAGGED about and threw in my face over 6 different times. Apparently she treated him badly and now he says he knows how I felt! They were together 3 months. We were together off and on for 2 1/2 years, plus, I'm guessing what she did to him, isn't nearly as bad as what he did to me...knowing him, he whines when people do something little to him, but always does big, hurtful things to other people.

 

So now because she hurt him, he feels what he did to me was wrong. Apparently me telling him about how bad he hurt me, me telling him he hurt me so much he made me physically ill because I was so upset, and crying on the phone wasn't enough proof. He had to wait 3 months...he had to wait until someone did something similar to him before he felt I deserved an apology.

 

So he called, apologized, but also opened up old wounds and then...he was gone again. Geez.

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he had to wait until someone did something similar to him before he felt I deserved an apology.
Wow! I am so sorry for your pain; in no way am I defending what he didn't do till now but often people get caught in their own little world and until they experience the pain themselves they don't fully understand the pain they caused others.

 

He may have waited so long to because of pride and guilt; never one justify it but maybe his apology is sincere enough that even though open the wounds can now scar...I once heard "scars don't bleed" so until we make our wounds a scar, we are at risk of them opening back up! I hope you can heal fully for yourself, you deserve happiness and joy!!

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stopthemadness
Okay, so my ex called me last week. I could not believe it. I was so happy...at first. Then he told me that the things he did to me, his new gf did to him. This was the woman he BRAGGED about and threw in my face over 6 different times. Apparently she treated him badly and now he says he knows how I felt! They were together 3 months. We were together off and on for 2 1/2 years, plus, I'm guessing what she did to him, isn't nearly as bad as what he did to me...knowing him, he whines when people do something little to him, but always does big, hurtful things to other people.

 

So now because she hurt him, he feels what he did to me was wrong. Apparently me telling him about how bad he hurt me, me telling him he hurt me so much he made me physically ill because I was so upset, and crying on the phone wasn't enough proof. He had to wait 3 months...he had to wait until someone did something similar to him before he felt I deserved an apology.

 

So he called, apologized, but also opened up old wounds and then...he was gone again. Geez.

 

 

Well if you ask me, your ex deserved everything his new girl did to him that caused him heart ache. What goes around comes around. With that said. I think it was a good thing that he called you and apologized. Now maybe you can move on. Some times people just fall out of love. its no one fault. Ya its hurt (believe me i know) but nothing lasts ever. It never does. Feel better......

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I think if the contact stopped there, maybe I would have been in a better place. But then the next week, he texted me and said "justice was served" and that he was leaving town. We then had a phone conversation and I told him again not to compare what happened to him, with what he did to me. He proceeeded to tell me about their relationship, how he made all kinds of time for her (when he didn't make time for me and only gave me excuses). He said he was thinking of PROPOSING to her and he gave me details about their sex life. He told me that when I left him, he said "I've been blind-sided, that sucks, oh well, I'll move on," but when she left him, he cried. His defense was that he wanted to prove to me that she had hurt him just as much as he had hurt me. This sent me in a downword spiral for a while and the next day I ended up on the floor crying. I loved him for years and I got lies and rejection covered up with excuses. He knew her for 3 months and one week. He brought his son into the relationship from the beginning. He allowed this stranger to get to know his son, when I only met his son ONE time. Then when this woman kicked him to the curb, she devestated his son. I wish I never met this man. I hate him. Also, he told me that he has nerve damage to his leg and that is running career is over. I'm glad. I told him he deserves everything that has happened to him and then some. I hate this bastard. He is sick in the head and doesn't even know it. He is a arrogant jack-ass with sociopathic tendencies and I hate him.

Edited by CopingGal
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