aerogurl87 Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 And if you had doubts and/or inklings that it was the wrong thing to do before you said your vows. Link to post Share on other sites
ksm Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 And if you had doubts and/or inklings that it was the wrong thing to do before you said your vows. lol, not miserably married, but 7 years in, and now up to no good, could this be what they call the 7 year itch?? Don't know whats come over me Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Um, what brought this on? Thinking of getting married? Or already miserable? Link to post Share on other sites
ksm Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 And if you had doubts and/or inklings that it was the wrong thing to do before you said your vows. ?? why is that??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author aerogurl87 Posted October 22, 2011 Author Share Posted October 22, 2011 Um, what brought this on? Thinking of getting married? Or already miserable? Actually good question, I am miserable but just in the dating/living together stage. Marriage is the farthest thing from my mind right now, but I'd like to know if anyone on here has gotten married in light of being in a relationship they weren't happy in before they even tied the knot. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Actually good question, I am miserable but just in the dating/living together stage. Marriage is the farthest thing from my mind right now, but I'd like to know if anyone on here has gotten married in light of being in a relationship they weren't happy in before they even tied the knot. I think you need to talk to your partner and sort this out. Why stay with someone if you're miserable? Even if it might hurt, it's best to be upfront and honest.. Maybe it can be fixed or maybe it's time to say goodbye. Anyway, living together is a good test and the best way of gettin to know someone. Marriage isn't easy and there will be trying times when you want to throw in the towel or get frustrated, sick of eachother or just in a rut.. It takes two to make it work. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Actually good question, I am miserable but just in the dating/living together stage. Marriage is the farthest thing from my mind right now, but I'd like to know if anyone on here has gotten married in light of being in a relationship they weren't happy in before they even tied the knot. Aerogurl, nobody should stay in a relationship they're not happy in - tying the knot when you're already unhappy is crazy! You moved 2000 miles to be with your bf and if I remember correctly the circumstances weren't ideal. If you think you've made a mistake, right NOW is the time to do something about it. Marriage is not easy, even when you are 100% sure it's the right thing to do. It takes communication, trust and commitment on both sides - I think you know in your heart you don't having anything even approaching that with your boyfriend. I'm sorry things haven't worked out as you hoped after you invested so much. You say marriage is the furthest thing from your mind. If that's the case, what made you post this thread? Link to post Share on other sites
calla Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 I have to ask as well why would you want to get married if your relationship sucks? Marriage exposes all the leaks in your relationship and wait until the kids come along. That is the acid test that exposes all the sealed holes. You need to base a marriage on a solid foundation of love, trust, great friendship (insert your deal breakers here) etc. Without this, a marriage will not stand the tests over time. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Marriage almost never makes a bad relationship better and it often just gets worse. An exception is if the source of your misery is where you live and if the other social circumstances around confine you and marriage means starting over somewhere else where things are much better. That's no guaranty but it's a consideration. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Didn't you recently post that you were breaking up? My opinion, and I've followed your threads for a while - It would be a GREAT idea for you to remain completely single for at least one year. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 And if you had doubts and/or inklings that it was the wrong thing to do before you said your vows. I was married from '93-'97 for 4 years. I divorced her cause she was useless. We didn't get alone and she cried all the time. And yes, I knew i had made a mistake on our honeymoon and that it probably wouldn't work out. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Never marry someone you can't get along with while single. And I would also suggest not continuing to invest time in dating someone who you are not in a satisfying relationship with. It's just a waste of time. Time you could spend finding someone who you are compatible with. Link to post Share on other sites
Forever Learning Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 And if you had doubts and/or inklings that it was the wrong thing to do before you said your vows. Yup. Got married when the first child came along ( got married at year 9 of a 16 year relationship), thought it would be the best thing to do to avoid 'stigma' of being unmarried and having a child 'out of wedlock'. Knew it probably wouldn't change much but hoped it might improve things a bit somehow..... it didn't. Found out that alcoholic drug addicts remain alcoholic drug addicts even after wedding vows. Doesn't help Narcissistic Personality Disorder nor Premature Ejaculation either. Ah well, live and learn. And learn and learn some more! Most recent thing I learned was how God awful expensive and time consuming divorces can be. By way of comparison, marriage certificates are really quite cheap and easy to obtain. Just a thought to consider. Link to post Share on other sites
Author aerogurl87 Posted October 23, 2011 Author Share Posted October 23, 2011 To everyone who asks me why I asked this question. It was out of curiousity regarding people who were in a situation similar to mine and went on ahead and married the person anyway. As regards me marrying my boyfriend, well I told him at this point I don't wanna get married and he knows that. Was just wondering why someone would marry someone even though their gut instinct told them it was a bad idea beforehand. My dad did the same thing with my mom and I'm still trying to figure out why. Link to post Share on other sites
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