UCFKevin Posted May 18, 2004 Share Posted May 18, 2004 So. Am I crazy for thinking that when two people date and have sex, they should only have sex with each other and no one else? Or is that not how things are done nowadays? Link to post Share on other sites
shamen Posted May 18, 2004 Share Posted May 18, 2004 NO! You are not crazy. I totally agree. No way I'm going out there and having sex with several people at the same time. It's too confusing and unsafe. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueLP Posted May 18, 2004 Share Posted May 18, 2004 As long as they limit their current sexual partners to under a handcount, it's cool yo. Nah, I'm in the same boat as you. And I can't think of anyone I've known in the last couple years of school who would disagree. Sex involves different levels of committment for everyone, but in my experience the combination of dating and sex means it's a pretty established unwritten rule that any outside messing around is off-limits. Anything to the contrary needs to be discussed. Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted May 18, 2004 Share Posted May 18, 2004 I too thought that was the point of dating someone....if you're dating you should be sleeping with them only otherwise isn't it just like being (( "bed buddies" <---so tacky! )) Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 Originally posted by UCFKevin So. Am I crazy for thinking that when two people date and have sex, they should only have sex with each other and no one else? Or is that not how things are done nowadays? This is what is going on with the girl that I have been dating. We get intimate, and only want to get intimate, with one another. Of course, the whole thing is an entirely different mess in entirely different aspects of the relationship these days. Bah. I agree, though. Having multiple partners is risky and, I think, inconsiderate. This girl and I feel we know each other well enough to be intimate, and speak about intimacy openly, and that's good enough for us. Fortunate I found someone who feels that sex is something that should be taken seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 If it's real dating, i think sex is the point where exclusivity should be obvious by then. If it's casual hanging out and sex happens to happen, - oh well, no obligations. I.e., I don't think the fact of sex has anything to do with exclusivity. Sure, it's safer that way, but what you feel about the person matters a lot more than whether or not you've slept with me, doesn't it?? -yes Link to post Share on other sites
LILUIL Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 last night's episode of the drew carrey show Drew had just done it with some girl in the outdoors, wakes up in the morning and looks at the girl, some where in that picture he ask her, "So are you seeing anyone else" She said "no", Then i think he put it very nicely by asking, "Do you wanna keep it that way?" Link to post Share on other sites
dreaming4ever Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 You're completely not crazy. People who are dating and having sex should NOT be having sex with anyone else. Then again, everyone is different so if the couple makes some sort of agreement that's ok....personally, I think that's gross but ya. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UCFKevin Posted May 19, 2004 Author Share Posted May 19, 2004 Glad to see I'm not alone in thinking this way. If it's real dating, i think sex is the point where exclusivity should be obvious by then. If it's casual hanging out and sex happens to happen, - oh well, no obligations. I agree with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyrannaste Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 UCFKevin, to me it is very obvious, but it is always better to ask the opinion of the person you are dating, to avoid unpleasant surprises. Well, actually before I have sex I need to know the relationship is exclusive..... I need to hear the "will you be my girlfriend?" line, like a 14 yrs old. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UCFKevin Posted May 19, 2004 Author Share Posted May 19, 2004 Hell, there's no shame in that, just being up front is the best way to be. Sure, it sounds lame, but screw it, there's no way around it, really. Link to post Share on other sites
livnnlrnin Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 Somehow I always thought it was just women who felt that way....Nice to see that men have feelings about it too......Especially one as handsome as yourself....Too bad you are such a young un....LOL Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 Originally posted by livnnlrnin Somehow I always thought it was just women who felt that way....Nice to see that men have feelings about it too......Especially one as handsome as yourself....Too bad you are such a young un....LOL Women!!! i would think women would WANT an exclusive relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
livnnlrnin Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 Ummmm??? That's what I just said!! Link to post Share on other sites
wideawake Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 Originally posted by tattoomytoe Women!!! i would think women would WANT an exclusive relationship. Yeah I think that's exactly what livnnlrnin was saying. Sounds to me like she IS a woman, and she was just paying Kev mad props because he's a guy and also wants to have that kind of exclusive relationship. I can't say that I've only slept with a girls that I had an exclusive relationship with, it's just not true. But that's also long ago and far away for me. And yes, during that time when I was fresh out of college and living the single life it was a lot of fun, for both myself and the girls that I was dating (dating being a very generous term in this case...) BUT, when I did find myself single again a few years ago and I was starting to date, I was only interested in having sexual relationships with woman that I was going to be exclusive with. So I think you're absolutely right Kev, I know that I didn't feel comfortable AT ALL with the thought of dating someone that was also having sex outside of our relationship. ICKY! Thankfully this isn't all that much of a problem with most woman I've met. Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 see i thought livnnlrnen was say that she AGREED with kev.......my bad! but i was shaken up cause i just had this tow truck right beside me slam into the back of a car......so i was still high on adrenaline when i was reading....it was soo scary! Link to post Share on other sites
Author UCFKevin Posted May 19, 2004 Author Share Posted May 19, 2004 Casual sex is casual sex, there usually are no deeper feelings involved, it's just sex, screw whoever, whenever, that's all fine and dandy, but that's not that I'm talking about. I'm talking about sex with someone who you think you have a future with. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 I think it depends on when you have that conversation. You know the one. "Where are we going with this?" "Do you think this has a future?" "Are we officially an item?" When I was dating that conversation would usually happen after 2 or 3 months. Until that time I assumed that I was their only sex partner, but that was just an assumption on my part. Generally you're spending so much of your free time together it's hard to see where anyone else would fit in. Also until you had that conversation I took it as a given that it could end at any moment - there was no "us" yet. Regardless, until you've talked about your expectations & feelings regarding exclusivity it's all assumption & people can't read your mind. Just play safe until you know what the full deal is. Link to post Share on other sites
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