Gesh I'm in trouble

[lostlove340]

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I don't know what to do anymore. My boyfriend doesn't seem to trust me. Him and I have been going out for almost 6 months now. Before we started dating, I had been very ill with Epilepsy and Depression as well as Psychosis (a disotder that is kind of like a split personality). During that time I was ill, I had another boyfriend whom I loved very much. He was my first everything...first love, first [sexual] partner...just my first. Him (my ex) and I hadn't talked in almost two years. Then all of a sudden my ex started talkin to me again when I had started going out with my current b/f. Well, my ex wanted to get back with me and wanted to see me again. My current b/f demanded me not to talk to my ex. I felt controlled by him, and I wanted to talk to my ex to try and figure out some of my past, since I couldn't really remember much of it. I needed to see what my ex was really like, instead of just taking peoples' word for it. By talking to my ex, was I in the wrong? Should I have just ignored him? Should I feel guilty?

[shellgranado]

your right in what you did yes hes trying to control you you should tell your current b/f to back off he has no reason not to trust you and no right to tell you who you can talk to i bet he talks to his exs its your life not his your not married he acts like hes being 5 years old

[LILUIL]

trust is the base of any relationship.

 

your reasons are clear and you feel nothing for your ex...... so your current bf should deal with his own feelings of insecurities.

 

maybe it's the fact that you have contact with your ex that makes him feel this way and causing questions in him whether you have really gotten over your ex. Clarify with him.....

 

Talk!

[average guy]

your past, your feelins, your memories (or lack therof) and your life are the most important thing. Don't let anyone get in the way of your figuring out what you need to about your life. I would think that if your current bf doesn't understand and apprereciate this and help you, then maybe you need to look out for yourself for a while. It's your life - take charge of it

[ya]

Hey I've been with my girl for about 6 months and I've also known her for about 9 months we live about 2 hours apart and we love each other very much she was my first for lots I know I don't get many g/f's so it was the first time I ever even had a true love. But hey We have been having problems lately with lots of things you know little fights here and there we always seem to get through them in a way and come out stronger its just that one of are fights about her ex is like coming on us to much. You see her ex of like a year and a half was there with her through thearapy and stuff I will admit he did help her and everything but he did cause her lots of pain in the proces it was her first to. Well out of the blue he starts to talk to her and asks her to break up with me and to go back with him since his girl broke up with him over 2 years. Heres the kicker though the whole time I guess he still loved her and wanted her back but he cheated on her and thats how the relationship ended with a few harsh words from him saying things that would cause her to cut herself again. Well about a 2 or 3 months ago Her ex got her sn on aim and started talking to her and telling her how his ex broke up with him well after about 2 nights of this I asked whats up with him cause I don't care if she talks to him if he was just saying hi how you doing sure nothing wrong with that catch up with new freinds. Well she started to tell me that he wanted her back and that he would do anything for her pretty much well I said sure thats funny but I finaly got fed up with it and told him to stop talking to her or just stop saying that stuff well he didn't stop he just keep saying how much he loved her and what not and saying he was sorry. Well since I go up to her house every weekend pretty much we were talking and all of suddend she tells me that she is kind of still in love with him I said it was ok cause since it was her first and everything and I agreed with that. So after about 2 weeks of it he just keep saying he loved her and I told her to choose between Me or Him since she was talking to him every single night on the net. Well about a month ago she tells me that she misses him more then anything in the world misses his kisses, voice, hugs, the whole sha-bang you know she also told me that he was still sending her things like a pic of all her pictures on his wall and all the stuff that she gave him he still has (OBSESED MUCH) she also told me she was sleeping with a teddy bear that he gave her a long time ago just to ease her down well I pretty much was mad yes and I told her I would help her out I told her do you want him back she said no and said I still want you but I still miss him I WAS CONFUSED AS HELL but I said ok and we just got over it and that was the end of that well lets say about this weekend she said she was going to his college since he will *probibly* be out I was like ok in way I don't want to run to her life I really don't I just said ok and said I hope you get in cause I want to see her be a very profentional person well about that time she told me she still hadn't deleted a love letter he wrote to her a while ago I was lets say supprised and kind of mad in a way still so I just said ok and left it at that. Well that was about the whole thing as you can tell I'm lostlove340's b/f yes I am I just thought I would give you a better back ground of what happend there and everything cause I think that made me look like a VERRY BIG JACK ASS I'm not I don't care if she talks to him but if he is going to be doing that and if she is going to keep talking to him while he is saying that stuff it just makes me feel really uncomfortable. SO PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHAT DID I DO WRONG ALSO.

[strugglinginGA]

I will be honest here and say if I were in your current boyfriend's situation, I would react the same way. It sounds really good and easy to say, "Oh, I would have no problem with that" unless you're in the situation. I wonder if your boyfriend has had some incidents in the past that has shaken his confidence as far as trusting people. I know that this is his problem and not your problem, however sometimes things shake you so to the core that even when you really want to get over them, you find that they are controlling you. I don't know if that's the case or if he's just controlling, but speaking personally, I have been screwed over so much in the past that it's difficult for me to trust anyone. He obviously has insecurities within himself and if you press on hell bent to show him that you feel his concerns are irrational, it may make him feel like you don't care about his feelings at all. Always ask yourself how would you feel in the situation... and remember, you know what's in your head, he doesn't.