Need !!! read.

[startingnew]

I have been with my boyfriend since I was 15 and I'm now 28. Throughout our relationship I have been 100 percent faithful to him and he's the only guy I ever had sex with. I discovered that he has been having an affair on me for the last 4 years of our relationship. I knew about the affair but he always told me it was over and I stayed with him. I always had proof but he just denied it. I just stayed with him because I loved him and the thought of me living without him was too much to bear. Recently I found out from my 9 year old daughter that the girl he was cheating on me with was staying at my boyfriend mothers house for an couple of months. My daughter and son would go over there and the girl would hide in the bathroom. Meanwhile I didn't know and all this took place behind my back. I'm so hurt and I have cried from this so many nights and days in the past. Now my boyfriend wants to work things out with me and I agreed after all the drama. The thing is its so hard for me to forgive him and I'm afraid he's just gonna mess with the girl again. They were together for 4 years so what would stop them from doing so? She knew about me all this time. I just feel so empty on the inside. If I will be truthful I don't want to be with him. I just want to be by myself and work on building my self esteem. Everytime I cry and say I don't want to be with him he cries and pleads for me to stay. I feel with him I will be nothing more than an shell and I want to experience love again. What should I do???? Please help!!!N

[CarrieT]

First off, you MUST get checked for STDs. Your boyfriend has been banging another woman and who knows who she's been banging.

 

Secondly, you have children with this man without a marriage? Have you filed paternity for your children? They must have priority to ensure they are taken care of. Your man has been cheating for FOUR YEARS and is unlikely to stop; he's got a hankering for it and knows how to get away with it - why should he stop?

 

You are going to think me cruel, but I think you need to grow a backbone and dump this loser and sue the hell out of him for support. You already know you don't want to be with him so don't fall to his pleas and cries - he is totally manipulating you. Be strong for you and for your children. You will be better off in the long run although it is going to be hard and I wish you the best.