Why no apology?

[Sugarkane]

Dumped by text out of the blue. Ex does 180 and turns everyone against me. No answer, no nothing. Nothing but verbal abuse from ex. More than a year later, still no apology, not even one word. Why?

[Feelin Frisky]

A year later? Whatever it was that broke you up, it seems to have been a doozie.

[Thieves]

Dumped by text out of the blue. Ex does 180 and turns everyone against me. No answer, no nothing. Nothing but verbal abuse from ex. More than a year later, still no apology, not even one word. Why?

 

SugarKane, I think it's important for me to say all this, because it's been a year and you still seem deeply affected. You have to ask yourself why it is that you're still hanging onto your ex, whether it be by anger, sadness, or what have you. (It's obviously anger in this case.) Apparently it is because of a lack of an apology from him. I have to tell you right now, SugarKane, that sometimes you will not get an apology from the ex. It's just how it goes, as it would be naive to think that every single one of us dumpees will get a proper explanation or an apology from the dumpers/exes. Sometimes it's pride of the ex, or other reasons. It's a bit cliche, but cliches are cliches for a reason: Closure has to come mostly from within. It's not wrong for you to want an apology, we all would want one, but you can't base your healing or your self-worth on that apology alone. You can't allow it to majorly affect your life or how you feel.

 

In life, as we all know, many things happen that are not always in our hands. Some things in life do not have a totally happy ending where everything is tied up nicely with a bow and all problems are talked out; some things are just left 'undone' or without closure. You see it all the time in books, movies, songs... because it's true. We've all experienced it. Yes, it makes us feel unstable and left in the dust and confused, and just plain horrible. But what can we truly do? All we can control is what we do after and how we react.

 

You know your ex was not the best person when he broke up with you, he broke up with you poorly, and he acted immaturely towards you. You know this, but you cannot change a person, they have to want to change. You don't have to or need to know why. The why's don't change the fact that he did what he did. After all, what could truly excuse such immature behavior from him? Not much at all.

 

Take that, take what you know to be true, and use that to move on. Your ex not contacting you is probably a blessing in disguise: he is giving you the time to move on with your life and become a better, wiser person from this. But in a way, you are only wasting it by allowing yourself to still be so angry at him when it could be better spent..

[Sugarkane]

Thankyou Thieves your a nice person.

[Sugarkane]

I always find it takes me too long to get over someone. I don't fall in love with someone easily or very often.