AHardDaysNight Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 You think that it would be appropriate if he was 17? 18? 19? Sorry, but a girl doesn't come into our home and go upstairs in his bedroom. When he has a home of his own, he may entertain women there. This is a completely wrong way to parent a child. A teenager, yes, but an adult? Adults can make their own decisions on who they bring into the house, including girls. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 This is a completely wrong way to parent a child. A teenager, yes, but an adult? Adults can make their own decisions on who they bring into the house, including girls. Especially if they are paying bills. Their paying the cost to be the boss, at least of what goes on in their own private quarter. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 The reality is that people get divorced too. There is no sure way to judge commitment nowdays I'm afraid Very true but if a person wants a successful relationship it is smart to look for somebody who is good at having one. Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Especially if they are paying bills. Their paying the cost to be the boss, at least of what goes on in their own private quarter. Exactly. I have a cousin who is schizophrenic. His father kicked him out when he was 18. Guess where he is now? Living in his truck, god knows where. I'm lucky to have had a mom who didn't believe in the "18 and you're outta here!" rule. Especially since I've had my own struggles myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 I left home at 16 never to come back and I am thriving. Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 I left home at 16 never to come back and I am thriving. Well, goodie for you! Unfortunately, some of us aren't that lucky. And we shouldn't be judged by it! Link to post Share on other sites
westrock Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 To me it shows that the guy knows how to live with other adults under the same roof. One could just as easily say that someone who moved out at an early age is likely so independent and set in their ways that they would not be able to get along living with a partner under the same roof. OP says the guy has good family values. Sounds like he gets along with his siblings and parents in an adult way. That's a good sign of a mature person, not a sign of weakness. Also perhaps he have been diligently saving his money every month to buy a house instead of spending it on rent. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Judging this guy because he lives with his parents is just like judging a woman because she had a kid outside of marriage. Could it mean he is an irresponsible twit or a mommas boy? Maybe. Do you not realize those traits exist in men who are not living with their parents? As in many other things in life... if you lack the brains, foresight, and judgement capability to figure out what his personality traits are.... you probably shouldn't be dating anyone at all. I mean, good God, to narrow down on one superficial trait and make a choice based solely on that defines stupidity. Step back and take a look at the guy as a whole... his lifestyle, actions, attitudes... ect should tell you the story. I agree with this whole post. Well said. It's just one piece of information. Doesn't make him a good prospect, but it doesn't negate that possibility either. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 This is a completely wrong way to parent a child. A teenager, yes, but an adult? Adults can make their own decisions on who they bring into the house, including girls. What? You are illogical here. You say that I am wrong to parent my child by not allowing him to have girls in his room. Then you say that it's ok to limit bedroom visitors for a teenagers. That makes no sense. If he were, say, 26, and living at home with us and paying rent while he saved money for a down payment on a condo, would I say "Honey, it's ok if you bring your date home to spend the night upstairs in the bedroom beside ours. H and I don't mind listening to you have sex, and then listening to her creep out into the hall to find the bathroom to pee. Have fun!"? No, I would not. He would be an adult, but he would need to follow the household rules. I don't bring random men home, my husband doesn't bring random women home, and my son (adult or not) won't bring random women home. Sorry that you don't like that. My house, my rules. Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 I don't even see what's so wrong about loving your mother, either? Again, it's a cultural issue. In some places, Momma's Boys would be preferred. Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 (edited) What? You are illogical here. You say that I am wrong to parent my child by not allowing him to have girls in his room. Then you say that it's ok to limit bedroom visitors for a teenagers. That makes no sense. If he were, say, 26, and living at home with us and paying rent while he saved money for a down payment on a condo, would I say "Honey, it's ok if you bring your date home to spend the night upstairs in the bedroom beside ours. H and I don't mind listening to you have sex, and then listening to her creep out into the hall to find the bathroom to pee. Have fun!"? No, I would not. He would be an adult, but he would need to follow the household rules. I don't bring random men home, my husband doesn't bring random women home, and my son (adult or not) won't bring random women home. Sorry that you don't like that. My house, my rules. Fair enough. Edited October 25, 2011 by AHardDaysNight Link to post Share on other sites
Mystique2011 Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 (edited) What? You are illogical here. You say that I am wrong to parent my child by not allowing him to have girls in his room. Then you say that it's ok to limit bedroom visitors for a teenagers. That makes no sense. If he were, say, 26, and living at home with us and paying rent while he saved money for a down payment on a condo, would I say "Honey, it's ok if you bring your date home to spend the night upstairs in the bedroom beside ours. H and I don't mind listening to you have sex, and then listening to her creep out into the hall to find the bathroom to pee. Have fun!"? No, I would not. He would be an adult, but he would need to follow the household rules. I don't bring random men home, my husband doesn't bring random women home, and my son (adult or not) won't bring random women home. Sorry that you don't like that. My house, my rules. I agree with you, even though I'm not a parent. If I still lived with my parents, I would be weirded out by bringing a guy home and letting him sleep over. Because everybody would know what we're doing. They're not stupid. It's a mood killer and awkward when everybody in the house knows what you're doing. If I'm meeting my boyfriend's parents and he lives at home, I wouldn't want to sleep over either! That ruins the whole idea of meeting your boyfriend's parents. Edited October 26, 2011 by Mystique2011 Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 I agree with you, even though I'm not a parent. If I still lived with my parents, I would be weirded out by bringing a guy home and letting him sleep over. Because everybody would know what we're doing. They're not stupid. It's a mood killer and awkward when everybody in the house knows what you're doing. If I'm meeting my boyfriend's parents and he lives at home, I wouldn't want to sleep over either! That ruins the whole idea of meeting your boyfriend's parents. I guess this proves exactly why guys like me should wait until we're out of the nest, before we start dating! Link to post Share on other sites
mr_sexxxy Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 Would you date someone who is 34 and still living at home with parents? No circumstance stops him from moving out, his parents are healthy, not on disability, he has a full time job that pays him decent money but he has choosen to stay at home? Also, he dropped off university year 2 , longest relationship has been 9 months and ...do I need to say more? He is a nice guy but I just find this very fishy... what do you think? He thinks you're a loser for asking anons on the internet for advice about who you should be dating. Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 He thinks you're a loser for asking anons on the internet for advice about who you should be dating. Uh oh. Is this the dude that we're talking about here? Link to post Share on other sites
mr_sexxxy Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 WTH are you talking about? Anyone who is attractive and has options doesn't need to ask the type of question OP is asking. Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 WTH are you talking about? Anyone who is attractive and has options doesn't need to ask the type of question OP is asking. The OP is a girl. And she's asking the question, because he is going against her moral beliefs. In that sense, she is questioning her options. Either way, the guy is with the OP out of choice, which negates the question that was asked. Whether or not he should be living at home, and not contributing to the household, is left open to personal opinion. However, the OP loves him, which cancels out all doubts. I think that this thread was a chance for everyone to throw their own morals onto the OP, which overwhelmed her. It's no surprise that she hasn't been back. Link to post Share on other sites
mr_sexxxy Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 I haven't followed the thread, but the implication of the OP is simple: dude is portrayed as a loser, and OP implies she could clearly be doing better. The reality is, if she could do any better, she would have, and would not need to be asking for advice on whether she should continue to date him by asking anons. Therefore, it's really silly and hypocritical to state that it was wrong for others to judge OP when she asked for honest feedback, and when her OP was very judgmental to begin with. Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 It wasn't judgmental. I've seen much, much worse. She said "hey, is this going to be an issue?", and then, 2 pages in, she responds with a positive update. It's the lions on here who are ripping her apart, and ripping her boyfriend apart. It's not the OP's fault that she posted a thread asking for advice... ...this is an advice forum, after all!... Link to post Share on other sites
mr_sexxxy Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 I've read through a few of the responses; very few are 'tearing her apart.' Seriously, WTH are you talking about??? Why are you attacking me and making assumptions anyway? Seriously, get a grip. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bgirl Posted October 26, 2011 Author Share Posted October 26, 2011 This is so funny! I haven't been back is because I have a life and have been busy not because I run away anywhere.. I am here! As for me being a looser with no options, negative. I do have options, I am just trying to make the wisest decision here and NOT rule people out based on something senseless. Have you heard of that saying " if you think you know it all you know nothing" ? I certainly don't have the answers to everything and there are people here who DO have more experience. We are all here looking for ADVICE, what I do with that advice and what decision I make after that is my own call. Mr Sexxy I am AN ATTRACTIVE woman and just because I HAVE OPTIONS I don't want to be judgemenal so I asked a question looking for guidance. It's ok to be confused sometimes. That's life. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts