beautifulearth83 Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 It does not seem like it has been getter better, either. I've decided that I'm going to make steps to engage with others more socially and try not to so much live in my own world. It seems that at times mid-conversation or before I am to attend an event, I go numb. It's like I'm not even really there and I assume that I appear cold, distant or in deep thought. It is very frustrating. I try to connect to others and come back to a reality of feeling, but I am just a space cadet. It makes me very sad and a bit worried. I think what really put it over the top for me was the past couple of years, moving all over the place, big life changes and a huge amount of rejection from my last partner. Anytime I feel rejection or an inch of failure or seeing how concerned my family is about me, it just gets worse. I just really wish the Universe would stroke my ego a little bit and say hey, you're a good dude and you have much to look forward to in your life. You are strong and fearless and have nothing to worry about. It sucks and I know I won't improve over night. It just seems like my life has been nothing but a series of things I'm trying to figure out about myself. First in school with A.D.D. and all that nonsense, then an array of other things. Another big thing is my job. I work from home which means I really don't socialize with anybody. I'll talk to a coworker remotely here and there, but it is rarely a conversation of substance. So, I need to think about a career change as well. It feels good to write about this on here. Thanks in advance to anybody who reads and/or responds. Link to post Share on other sites
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