To Deejette

[Jenna]

I understand where you are coming from- about married men. I too have had my share of close encounters- but when I compare the number of married men who have hit on me- to all of the men I know- it is a very very small percentage. We tend to only remember the bad stuff.

 

My post was more about the person on the receiving end of these advances from married men. And even greater than that- the excuses that people give for why it is okay.

 

And then to be angry about it not working out when someone engages in a relationship with a married person. To me it sounds ridiculous- I mean what are people thinking will happen in these already screwed up messes??

 

Men do cheat- and women do too- but at the very least I wish people could just admit that its wrong and immoral. Instead of throwing out lame excuses for why it's justified- like "his wife is a bitch"- "they don't have any kids"- "he doesn't love her anymore"- the bottom line is that they

 

are still married- and thats all that should matter.

 

I still have to believe that people are good- for the most part. If I didn't believe that- I would no longer be capable of optimism- and I would no longer be of use to people that count on me for support- like family, friends, husband, kids, and people who write to this forum. And I especially would be of no good use to myself.

 

Jenna

[Deejette]

I kind of agree with you, Jenna. I mean, my take on human beings is that 98% are striving to be decent people and that only 2% are intentionally evil. Those evil or hurtful actions are the ones that stick with us and that causes us to become cynical. I guess it's like the news. We never hear about all the kids that weren't kidnapped that day or of all the people who were not murdered.

 

On this site, we don't hear "Everything's great, no problems." There are many beautiful relationships out there (they don't make for the most interesting reading, though). But it still puzzles me about men who are married and don't even tell you until you've been out with them and even intimate with them. And women aren't exempt either. I am not trying to make saints out of women.

 

I want to believe good things about people so I can have a happy life of trust and sincerity. The care and helpfulness of the people on this site has been a plus in allowing me to feel warm and fuzzy about people and to understand their suffering so that I don't inflict it on others.

 

I understand where you are coming from- about married men. I too have had my share of close encounters- but when I compare the number of married men who have hit on me- to all of the men I know- it is a very very small percentage. We tend to only remember the bad stuff. My post was more about the person on the receiving end of these advances from married men. And even greater than that- the excuses that people give for why it is okay. And then to be angry about it not working out when someone engages in a relationship with a married person. To me it sounds ridiculous- I mean what are people thinking will happen in these already screwed up messes?? Men do cheat- and women do too- but at the very least I wish people could just admit that its wrong and immoral. Instead of throwing out lame excuses for why it's justified- like "his wife is a bitch"- "they don't have any kids"- "he doesn't love her anymore"- the bottom line is that they are still married- and thats all that should matter. I still have to believe that people are good- for the most part. If I didn't believe that- I would no longer be capable of optimism- and I would no longer be of use to people that count on me for support- like family, friends, husband, kids, and people who write to this forum. And I especially would be of no good use to myself.

 

Jenna