Feelings of Failure?

[Wesker]

So it's been almost 5 months since my ex of 8 years dumped me. You can read my previous threads if you need a little backstory. I don't know why lately, but I've been having these feelings of failure. Maybe it's because she was the one who dumped me for someone else, seems the happiest she's ever been in her life, while I'm still trying to heal with no real prospects on the horizon.

 

Funny thing is that I know deep down that I'm not ready to date anyone yet, nor really interested in getting into another relationship. I'm actually liking the single life again, hanging with friends, and what not. I would like to get back to the place I was, before I met my ex. Where I felt like I didn't need to find anyone to enjoy life, and if I would find somebody, it would be the "icing on the cake".

 

So why am I feeling like such a failure sometimes? I wasn't the one who quit, lied, and threw way 8 years. I wasn't perfect, but I damn sure gave 100% to her. Does anyone else get these feelings, or is it just part of the long, grueling healing road?

[sleepykitten]

I felt like that too, for a long while, a bit like, he knew all of me and i wasnt good enough for him. I didnt stop to think he actually wasnt good enough for me. But I put so much effort into it i think and because it didnt work i felt like i had failed. Seeing other people in happy relationships also used to make me feel like that. Its a blip though, youre not a failure, its all part of the insecurity, the emotional rolercoaster. Its great that you are enjoying the single life, i am too, never thought i would say that as felt so lonely for a while but stuck with it and now finally feel a bit of peace. Utter bliss after all the recent chaos in my head!