BLuvv Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 So, I did a stupid thing and though I deleted my facebook months ago I signed back on today. Of course, there are friends of my ex on there still and I saw pictures of him out having fun. I knew all along he's not sitting around worrying about me, but seeing it just makes it so much more hurtful. I honestly feel sick to my stomach. It just sucks that he hasn't called me and I feel like things are not getting better. I don't feel like no contact is helping me. I just don't know what to do anymore. And so much other crap is going on in my life and I feel like I have no one to turn to anymore. He was the one I could talk to about stuff. And even my one friend is mad at me. I'm just so sick of everything right now. I don't even know why I try. Link to post Share on other sites
Bobby289 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 You are in my exact shoes! You just want them to feel like you do and show that life isn't better without you. Just because your ex is out all the time doesn't mean they don't care, people all cope differently and feel pain at different times. You have all of us to talk to instead. Trust me it hurts just as much to be ignored or be cut back down by your ex than thinking about them... Try not to look too deep into things and think the worst...I KNOW! last week was proof of that. lol Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Facebook reality is about as real as Reality TV. Don't contact because it won't go well Link to post Share on other sites
Author BLuvv Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 I just feel like I can't take this anymore. I really want to talk to him. I get that our relationship doesn't work, but I just want to talk to him. It's so pathetic that I feel like I have basically no one outside my family anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Bobby289 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Nor do I but let yourself heal! Talking to him my just break you down deeper, don't give him the satisfaction. My ex is/was my best friend but giving her the knowledge of where I stand emotionally backfired on me and broke me down even further... trust me it is one of the hardest things to do right now at a moment of weakness but talk to us or write a letter BUT DONT SEND IT! Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 I just feel like I can't take this anymore. I really want to talk to him. I get that our relationship doesn't work, but I just want to talk to him. It's so pathetic that I feel like I have basically no one outside my family anymore. You have us,, were here for you!! hey I wanted SO BAD to contact my ex g/f today and it took everything I had NOT to,, and I did'nt and I'm so glad I didn't! Like you I don't have alot of people to talk to, that's why I'm still here,,and I know too that our relationship doesn't/won't work. Please don't contact him, I know the urge when your feeling down is to reach out to him. Keep posting if you feel you need to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BLuvv Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 Yeah I sat down the other night and wrote him a long "letter" just in a word document. Really just a letter for me and venting about things and at the end of all I wrote I wished him happiness, and I found I really meant it. Sometimes I guess it's true if you really love someone you should let them go. It just sucks, but I'm sure he doesn't want to hear about my problems. Just so much sh** that is going on and I feel like the weight is too much. I know this is probably the worst time to contact him anyways. I just feel so weak. I've been taking a trip down memory lane in my mind. Not even just him but all past stuff and the people who are no longer in my life and it just hurts. I drove past some old places I used to hang out and it was just depressing. I honestly feel like giving up sometimes because I don't know where to go from here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BLuvv Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 You have us,, were here for you!! hey I wanted SO BAD to contact my ex g/f today and it took everything I had NOT to,, and I did'nt and I'm so glad I didn't! Like you I don't have alot of people to talk to, that's why I'm still here,,and I know too that our relationship doesn't/won't work. Please don't contact him, I know the urge when your feeling down is to reach out to him. Keep posting if you feel you need to. Thanks, Mike. Yeah, I feel like here is the only place I have to turn. I don't want to break my nc- today is day 28. I just feel like since I've done nc I just feel worse though. I don't really feel better, it just is like a knife in my heart that twists a little harder each day I don't hear from him. I just feel like was I really that insignificant to his life that after a month he wouldn't even check on me?? I mean maybe he feels that way too??! I don't know??! It just hurts for someone you care about so much to let you go so easily. Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Yeah I sat down the other night and wrote him a long "letter" just in a word document. Really just a letter for me and venting about things and at the end of all I wrote I wished him happiness, and I found I really meant it. Sometimes I guess it's true if you really love someone you should let them go. It just sucks, but I'm sure he doesn't want to hear about my problems. Just so much sh** that is going on and I feel like the weight is too much. I know this is probably the worst time to contact him anyways. I just feel so weak. I've been taking a trip down memory lane in my mind. Not even just him but all past stuff and the people who are no longer in my life and it just hurts. I drove past some old places I used to hang out and it was just depressing. I honestly feel like giving up sometimes because I don't know where to go from here. It's ok to do all those things, I did too. Please don't give up. You are a young attractive woman and have your whole life ahead of you,, this is just a part of life we ALL have to go thru and you will,,, you will get thru this and be a stronger person. You are NOT ALONE!! Link to post Share on other sites
perfectlyflawed459 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 I just feel like I can't take this anymore. I really want to talk to him. I get that our relationship doesn't work, but I just want to talk to him. It's so pathetic that I feel like I have basically no one outside my family anymore. I know exactly how you feel...I am almost at a month of no contact and it has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. I miss him soooo much and not a day goes by where I don't think about him. I saw pictures like two weeks ago of him and the other girl that liked him when him and I started talking again. When I found out about her, I just told him I didn't want anything to do with him and let him go, but gosh it hurts so much to see that he just easily turned to that other girl and seemingly forgot about me. I could tell it kinda hurt him too when I told him that, but I had to do what is best for me. It helps to not try and snoop around, even if it is through mutual friends. They are the last thing we need to see. I promise it gets easier, even though I have my moments I have managed to really appreciate everything going right in my life. In times like these, positive thinking is your best friend. You can't know for sure that they don't think about you, but right now as hard as it is, it shouldn't matter regardless. This time should be about healing. Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Thanks, Mike. Yeah, I feel like here is the only place I have to turn. I don't want to break my nc- today is day 28. I just feel like since I've done nc I just feel worse though. I don't really feel better, it just is like a knife in my heart that twists a little harder each day I don't hear from him. I just feel like was I really that insignificant to his life that after a month he wouldn't even check on me?? I mean maybe he feels that way too??! I don't know??! It just hurts for someone you care about so much to let you go so easily. I'm close to day 90 of N.C. and I felt/feel the same way and wondered why doesn't she call me?? Didn't I mean anything to you??? You told me you loved me at one time now I'm just a distant memory? Link to post Share on other sites
Bobby289 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 I'm figuring that out right now too, you can only do and feel so much until you break. Letting go says more than anything that can actually be said in words. It is by no means easy, you will think about him all the time for a long time but that is perfectly normal. You need to find something that takes your mind away even if its only 50% of your attention away its better than 100% and just stewing! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BLuvv Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 I know exactly how you feel...I am almost at a month of no contact and it has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. I miss him soooo much and not a day goes by where I don't think about him. I saw pictures like two weeks ago of him and the other girl that liked him when him and I started talking again. When I found out about her, I just told him I didn't want anything to do with him and let him go, but gosh it hurts so much to see that he just easily turned to that other girl and seemingly forgot about me. I could tell it kinda hurt him too when I told him that, but I had to do what is best for me. It helps to not try and snoop around, even if it is through mutual friends. They are the last thing we need to see. I promise it gets easier, even though I have my moments I have managed to really appreciate everything going right in my life. In times like these, positive thinking is your best friend. You can't know for sure that they don't think about you, but right now as hard as it is, it shouldn't matter regardless. This time should be about healing. Yeah, I'm almost at a month too and know what you mean. I do think about him every single day, without fail. I wake up thinking of him, I go to sleep thinking about him, and I think about him during the day. It's ridiculous. I think I've been doing better at pretending I'm okay and just going about everything all day. I've grown up spending my life pretending everything is fine so I'm pretty used to that. I just think I'll spend my life "pretending" instead of actually enjoying it. I just struggle so bad to be positive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BLuvv Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 I'm figuring that out right now too, you can only do and feel so much until you break. Letting go says more than anything that can actually be said in words. It is by no means easy, you will think about him all the time for a long time but that is perfectly normal. You need to find something that takes your mind away even if its only 50% of your attention away its better than 100% and just stewing! Yeah, I've been going along for a little while just kind of coasting, so I knew a tough day must be coming up. At least I have a huge work project coming up, I normally would be dreading this (even though I knew it was coming), but the timing is probably good. Maybe I will just become a workaholic to keep from sitting around being a loser. Hopefully, if this project goes well it will pay off somehow. I actually felt good though because my boss was really happy with a big decision I made on the project. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BLuvv Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 I'm close to day 90 of N.C. and I felt/feel the same way and wondered why doesn't she call me?? Didn't I mean anything to you??? You told me you loved me at one time now I'm just a distant memory? Yeah, exactly. I just can't forget someone I love like that. I wonder if some people are just different in that way. He never seemed to ever let anything get him down, and I actually always admired his ability to just keep going no matter what. He tried so hard to help me think that way, but I never could be that way. I dwell and mope and overthink. We just had such different personalities. Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Yeah, I've been going along for a little while just kind of coasting, so I knew a tough day must be coming up. At least I have a huge work project coming up, I normally would be dreading this (even though I knew it was coming), but the timing is probably good. Maybe I will just become a workaholic to keep from sitting around being a loser. Hopefully, if this project goes well it will pay off somehow. I actually felt good though because my boss was really happy with a big decision I made on the project. Good for you,, if you need to bury yourself in your work then do it,, it will take your mind off things and may be a big payoff $$$ for you. Remember, were here for you and your not alone!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BLuvv Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 Good for you,, if you need to bury yourself in your work then do it,, it will take your mind off things and may be a big payoff $$$ for you. Remember, were here for you and your not alone!!! Yeah, while my job is going to get tougher in the coming months, it's actually a good thing. The more hours I'm stuck there, the less time I have to dwell on my ex. The only downside is I'm on salary so I don't get overtime. Boo Oh well. Sometimes I think about moving out of state somewhere else. Especially want to live somewhere warm. At least my job will be good experience for getting a good job. I actually was looking around on LinkedIn the other day and the openings for my title, there were some in cities that sounded really nice. I don't know why but I always want to move somewhere else. I've spent time living in other cities and even another country. I guess I just have the traveler gene. I don't like being stuck in one city. Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Yeah, while my job is going to get tougher in the coming months, it's actually a good thing. The more hours I'm stuck there, the less time I have to dwell on my ex. The only downside is I'm on salary so I don't get overtime. Boo Oh well. Sometimes I think about moving out of state somewhere else. Especially want to live somewhere warm. At least my job will be good experience for getting a good job. I actually was looking around on LinkedIn the other day and the openings for my title, there were some in cities that sounded really nice. I don't know why but I always want to move somewhere else. I've spent time living in other cities and even another country. I guess I just have the traveler gene. I don't like being stuck in one city. If you feel that's what you need to do then look into it. Don't rush into it though, give yourself some more time to heal and then decide if it's the right move. You don't want to act on impulse at this time,,,, like contacting him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BLuvv Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 If you feel that's what you need to do then look into it. Don't rush into it though, give yourself some more time to heal and then decide if it's the right move. You don't want to act on impulse at this time,,,, like contacting him. Yeah, I know...I always have that tendency to want to run away from problems. I've always wanted to move to some other places, but better to do it for the right reasons. If a great job was available it would definitely be a good enough reason for me. But yeah, I'm just looking for a way out right now I think. I was looking the other day when I just was frustrated with everything. There are also a lot of things I don't want to leave behind here. But then there's all this family dysfunction that sometimes I feel like I'm healthier and happier away from it and can enjoy my family more when I don't get so wrapped up in all the drama. I don't know?! But ugh eff facebook, now I remember why I deleted my account- it always just upsets me. I wish I wasn't so weak that seeing some pictures of my ex sends me into such a state like this. Sometimes I feel completely neurotic that I get soooo upset over stupid facebook. Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 One of the first things I did was to "de-friend' my ex. g/f on Facebook because I didn't want to see or hear anything about what was happening because I knew it would bother me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BLuvv Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 One of the first things I did was to "de-friend' my ex. g/f on Facebook because I didn't want to see or hear anything about what was happening because I knew it would bother me. Yeah, I defriended my ex a long time ago and many months before I went no contact and was still hanging out/talking with him I deactivated my account. I don't even know the last time I signed on. I only have some friends of his left so when I logged on there was a picture of him with his friends out. And then stupid me clicked on it and clicked on a few more things and next thing I know I see an event this girl I thought he liked (even though he insisted there was no one else) had created for his birthday. Seriously, why do we do these things to ourselves??!! I mean, obviously I knew no good would come of it, but I did it anyways. And then I see his picture and I miss him even more than I already did. Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Yeah, I defriended my ex a long time ago and many months before I went no contact and was still hanging out/talking with him I deactivated my account. I don't even know the last time I signed on. I only have some friends of his left so when I logged on there was a picture of him with his friends out. And then stupid me clicked on it and clicked on a few more things and next thing I know I see an event this girl I thought he liked (even though he insisted there was no one else) had created for his birthday. Seriously, why do we do these things to ourselves??!! I mean, obviously I knew no good would come of it, but I did it anyways. And then I see his picture and I miss him even more than I already did. Curiosity? I'm so tired of beating myself up over my dumping,,, I did nothing wrong! Nothing,,,I was a great b/f but I still beat myself up over it. Her loss! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BLuvv Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 Curiosity? I'm so tired of beating myself up over my dumping,,, I did nothing wrong! Nothing,,,I was a great b/f but I still beat myself up over it. Her loss! Yeah, definitely curiosity is part of it. I mean, I can't help but wonder what the heck he is doing all this time that he's not talking to me. I'm ridiculous I know, but I can't help it. And I know, I think the people who try the hardest get the raw end of the deal. I feel the same I tried so da*n hard to be a good girlfriend and then got left with nothing. I just can't let his opinion of me (that I'm not worth it) be my reality. I know I'm a good person and I know I have a lot going on for me. Now if only we could match up the people together who try so hard things would be so much better!!! Then again I do believe in karma, so in the end I think for all your efforts something will good come from it. It can't all be just in vain. Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Yeah, definitely curiosity is part of it. I mean, I can't help but wonder what the heck he is doing all this time that he's not talking to me. I'm ridiculous I know, but I can't help it. And I know, I think the people who try the hardest get the raw end of the deal. I feel the same I tried so da*n hard to be a good girlfriend and then got left with nothing. I just can't let his opinion of me (that I'm not worth it) be my reality. I know I'm a good person and I know I have a lot going on for me. Now if only we could match up the people together who try so hard things would be so much better!!! Then again I do believe in karma, so in the end I think for all your efforts something will good come from it. It can't all be just in vain. Oh, so you know my story? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BLuvv Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 Oh, so you know my story? Actually, not the whole story. I have seen some of your posts. I mean in general though too, I just feel like even if nothing good comes immediately when you are making efforts, someday they will be repaid. I dunno, I mean right now I feel like I got nothing out of trying so hard, but I am hoping some day good will come of it. I just feel like if anything I tried too hard and made the most effort and got no commitment and the harder I tried, the more he pushed me away. The only time I could get his attention was when I pulled away- which to me felt too much like playing games and I hate that sh*t. I just want things to be simple and not so confusing. I never knew where I stood with him and I hated that. I guess over this time away I'm gaining more perspective of why this relationship can't work. I still have this part of me though that wishes things would work. Don't know why? Link to post Share on other sites
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