I'm having a weak moment- wanting to contact my ex

[mike588]

Yes, I wished things would of worked out between my ex. and myself,,, I tried so hard to make it work but I never stood a chance because her heart was elsewhere.

 

I was left to pick up the pieces with a broken heart.

[BLuvv]

Yes, I wished things would of worked out between my ex. and myself,,, I tried so hard to make it work but I never stood a chance because her heart was elsewhere.

 

I was left to pick up the pieces with a broken heart.

 

I definitely know the feeling. I felt like I gave my all to my ex and he took my heart and just threw it right back at me. All the things he said was just talk- he never backed it up with actions. He promised he'd always be there for me and yet he let me down time and time again, but I just kept trying anyways. It sucks realizing no matter what it can't work. But it gives me hope to see so many people here that really do try and really do care and that not everyone is like my ex who would see someone trying so hard to be there and just not care. Right now I'm just so broken though I don't know when I will ever be able to get back out there and try again. It's like you exhaust yourself trying so hard and they haven't worn themselves out trying and they just go off and live their lives like nothing happens. But then again, I'd rather be a person who cares and worries about other people's feelings. I could never live with myself if I was a person who was so callous.

[mike588]

I definitely know the feeling. I felt like I gave my all to my ex and he took my heart and just threw it right back at me. All the things he said was just talk- he never backed it up with actions. He promised he'd always be there for me and yet he let me down time and time again, but I just kept trying anyways. It sucks realizing no matter what it can't work. But it gives me hope to see so many people here that really do try and really do care and that not everyone is like my ex who would see someone trying so hard to be there and just not care. Right now I'm just so broken though I don't know when I will ever be able to get back out there and try again. It's like you exhaust yourself trying so hard and they haven't worn themselves out trying and they just go off and live their lives like nothing happens. But then again, I'd rather be a person who cares and worries about other people's feelings. I could never live with myself if I was a person who was so callous.

 

Yep I agree, it was exausting trying to make things work!! I see now too that she never really tried,, just words. It bothers me that I wasted so much time on her and see that there are so many other women that would of appreciated all my efforts!

 

I'm also broken and feel the same way,,, hopefully time will take care of all that!

Edited October 25, 2011 by mike588

[BLuvv]

Yep I agree, it was exausting trying to make things work!! I see now too that she never really tried,, just words. It bothers me that I wasted so much time on her and see that there are so many other women that would of appreciated all my efforts!

 

I'm also broken and feel the same way,,, hopefully time will take care of all that!

 

Yeah, I hope so too! Right now I just felt like one of those days where I'm freaking out about being forever alone. People around me tell me I'm being ridiculous, but those people telling me this have someone- so I feel like I can't take them seriously- they have no idea how it feels to be in my shoes. But then I read on here and there are people who really make that effort and feel like I feel. I could never see my ex on here- ever. Although I had a dream the other night he found my posts and got mad and wrote a nasty reply and then refused to talk to me anymore. Stupid dreams get me upset. But then I just want someone to be there with me to hold onto and I hope I can get past my issues and have a healthy relationship.

[eleanorhurting]

Yeah, I hope so too! Right now I just felt like one of those days where I'm freaking out about being forever alone. People around me tell me I'm being ridiculous, but those people telling me this have someone- so I feel like I can't take them seriously- they have no idea how it feels to be in my shoes. But then I read on here and there are people who really make that effort and feel like I feel. I could never see my ex on here- ever. Although I had a dream the other night he found my posts and got mad and wrote a nasty reply and then refused to talk to me anymore. Stupid dreams get me upset. But then I just want someone to be there with me to hold onto and I hope I can get past my issues and have a healthy relationship.

 

First of all i want to congratulate you for not doing it! You did it! you won! you didn't reach out to him. You are going to be stronger because of this. You will see.

 

I know how you feel about the facebook thing. I deleted my account months ago. I am very insecure and i don't like seeing other people's fake lives projected in my face all the time. I know its stupid but its the truth. And when my ex and i were "dating" he would post crap all the time yet not have time to talk to me, get posts from his exes and never ever even acknowledge anything i ever posted. So i decided facebook was the devil. Its really hard for me but i have to be strong and not activate my account again like I used to every once in a while just to see what hes up to. You can be strong too!

 

I look forward to maybe having facebook someday again. But its not now.

 

I know how you feel about being sad. I feel sad every day at least once. Its like a wave that suddenly comes over me. But I really do believe that someday, with time, I will get better. Today was my second appointment with my therapist and its been good!

 

I see this as working out. I hate it I really do but you do it because you know that at the end of the tunnel the result will be great.

 

I know it hurts right now but talking to him about your problems will only make you feel worse! Be strong and post here instead! Or talk to your friends!

 

I hope you make it through the day and not contact him! I know you can!

 

P.s. I looooooove your picture! So pretty!

[BLuvv]

First of all i want to congratulate you for not doing it! You did it! you won! you didn't reach out to him. You are going to be stronger because of this. You will see.

 

I know how you feel about the facebook thing. I deleted my account months ago. I am very insecure and i don't like seeing other people's fake lives projected in my face all the time. I know its stupid but its the truth. And when my ex and i were "dating" he would post crap all the time yet not have time to talk to me, get posts from his exes and never ever even acknowledge anything i ever posted. So i decided facebook was the devil. Its really hard for me but i have to be strong and not activate my account again like I used to every once in a while just to see what hes up to. You can be strong too!

 

I look forward to maybe having facebook someday again. But its not now.

 

I know how you feel about being sad. I feel sad every day at least once. Its like a wave that suddenly comes over me. But I really do believe that someday, with time, I will get better. Today was my second appointment with my therapist and its been good!

 

I see this as working out. I hate it I really do but you do it because you know that at the end of the tunnel the result will be great.

 

I know it hurts right now but talking to him about your problems will only make you feel worse! Be strong and post here instead! Or talk to your friends!

 

I hope you make it through the day and not contact him! I know you can!

 

P.s. I looooooove your picture! So pretty!

 

Eleanor,

 

Thank you for your kind words, as always. I actually just posted again. I saw a picture of him with that girl she was kissing him and there are a bunch others with her all over him. I'm just sick to my stomach and I feel wretched. I just don't want to go on anymore. I called and I know it's late and he's probably sleeping. God, I seem like such a psycho right now. But I just am losing all my hope. I feel like I have not much else to lose. It just sucks so much. He's happy with another girl and he's been talking to her while he was still sleeping with me. No wonder he wouldn't invite me around his friends. It's so obvious to me now. I am such a fool. I hate this so much. And I loved him so much and he just replaced me with another blonde girl. Wtf...I feel so used and digusted. I could seriously throw up.

 

Oh and thanks, that's actually just a stock image, not me.

[BLuvv]

But seriously I hate facebook. It just makes me miserable. I'm incredibly insecure.

[flyguy23]

Sorry to hear that OP, I feel the exact same way as you. I deactivated my FB account as well. I really hate FB, I see pics of my ex with guys that always liked her while we dated, and didn't want her around. Now she's with them looking happy and flirting while she doesn't even make an effort to speak to me. It hurts when I see those pics so I just have to stay strong and try not to look at FB. I dated her for 5 years so its very hard for me to not wonder what she is up to. Hang in there and stay strong, you are not alone.

[Love Notes]

Hello BLuvv,

I've been in your shoe this type of thing take a little time. You just keep your head up and stay focused on your goals and he'll will call..

[Lucy2011]

Strangely, I've just deactivated my FB. I logged on before and stupidly visited my ex's page (I'd hidden his news from my feed) to see a load of new photos he'd posted. He's moved into a new house recently and there were the updates of work he's done. Stuff we talked about doing together too which was weird.... I kind of wondered if it was some sort of message to me to contact him. But I'm done with playing games. I HATE Facebook, always have and rarely used it. It cost me a previous relationship and I'm done with it now.

 

He can post his stupid pictures to his hearts content....I aint looking

 

And another thing, he's deleted today about 40+ people on there he was friends with (he used to play Farmville with them) so why leave me on!?

[BLuvv]

Strangely, I've just deactivated my FB. I logged on before and stupidly visited my ex's page (I'd hidden his news from my feed) to see a load of new photos he'd posted. He's moved into a new house recently and there were the updates of work he's done. Stuff we talked about doing together too which was weird.... I kind of wondered if it was some sort of message to me to contact him. But I'm done with playing games. I HATE Facebook, always have and rarely used it. It cost me a previous relationship and I'm done with it now.

 

He can post his stupid pictures to his hearts content....I aint looking

 

And another thing, he's deleted today about 40+ people on there he was friends with (he used to play Farmville with them) so why leave me on!?

 

Yeah I hate facebook. I hadn't been on for months but I felt so alone and wanted to try to reconnect with people. Then temptation to snoop got the best of me. Big mistake. But I guess now I know and can't live in denial anymore. Cost me my almost month of nc. But I just didn't feel like it was helping, I just kept wishing he'd call and just hoping he would care. And it does suck to see them doing stuff you would've wanted to do together. But I guess he was done with me a long time ago.

[BLuvv]

Hello BLuvv,

I've been in your shoe this type of thing take a little time. You just keep your head up and stay focused on your goals and he'll will call..

 

 

Yeah, it's hard. I ended up breaking nc and trying to call (I put a couple new threads) and he didn't answer and later texted to see what was up and had a line about being so busy. I felt so insulted. He has been with this girl and he couldn't bother with me. All this time I am wondering. Thing is while he is off enjoying his life, I am miserable. But everyone tells me that he will just do the same to this girl. But I don't know. He swore he didn't want to date someone so uptight about religion, but I can't trust anything he says anymore. Maybe she is perfect for him and he will end up with her.

[LSgirl]

I've been following your post and I know how hard it is to NOT look him up on Facebook. Mine still says we're in a relationship but that's because he never goes on Facebook so the day I see him take it down and it says he's single or if he deletes me, I will be devastated. I can't manage to take it down first. I'm only on Day 3 of No Contact and it doesn't get any easier. I still have false hopes that he'll call me soon, but I go through phases of being sad and angry and I lose sleep. I tried taking sleeping pills but I get so much anxiety thinking about him the pills don't work. I have to force myself to eat and pretend to be okay when i'm at work, but it's an awful feeling!

[BLuvv]

I've been following your post and I know how hard it is to NOT look him up on Facebook. Mine still says we're in a relationship but that's because he never goes on Facebook so the day I see him take it down and it says he's single or if he deletes me, I will be devastated. I can't manage to take it down first. I'm only on Day 3 of No Contact and it doesn't get any easier. I still have false hopes that he'll call me soon, but I go through phases of being sad and angry and I lose sleep. I tried taking sleeping pills but I get so much anxiety thinking about him the pills don't work. I have to force myself to eat and pretend to be okay when i'm at work, but it's an awful feeling!

 

 

Yeah, I definitely feel the same way. The sleeping pills didn't work at all, my heart was just pounding and I was shaking and crying. And today I just feel like I got hit by a truck. I made myself eat something, but I don't have an appetite.

 

As for facebook, I think its better to just delete them. Its like ripping off a bandaid, but otherwise you are just waiting for the day you see that change and it will hurt so much worse.

[shayla]

Facebook is truly the devil. I cannot tell you how many times I went to my ex's page. Can't tell you how many times I went to the other woman's page. And their wedding pictures 2 months after I found out about it all were enough to make me go to bed and never want to get up again. The only good thing about Facebook was that I gave much worse than what I got, and if they read it, then it was on them. Guess what? They always read it and would go bonkers on their pages. Small comfort, but I'll take it.

 

It's been almost a year now, and I never go to their pages any more....Facebook happy is not reality happy and I kept forgetting that. I kept looking at their pictures and realizing that reality was the way the other woman cried and kept asking me what she was going to do now that she found out that her new fiance had never broken up with me. The pictures on FB is what they want the world to see. But I know, and they know what the real truth is.

 

I can guarantee that even though you are feeling raw and in pain right now, in time, it will get better. You just have to hold on and get through this part. Time and not torturing yourself will heal you.