New friendship - red flags

[SpiralOut]

Oh, she is making a fool of herself all on her own..Others do notice, though they probably don't care to react, so they just ignore her (roll their eyes and think what an idiot..) She is shocked because you have a life and she's jealous. She thinks she's better than you, more popular than you..HAHA, she got a reality check!! GOOD for you for handling it so well again. You've grown so much since the beginning of all this.

 

Lol. It was easy to deal with. I just corrected her without really thinking about it. I didn't even realize she was being stupid or rude until I went home and thought about it. I don't even feel insulted. It's just funny.

 

I think I know why she's jealous of me, now that I think of it. It has to do with men paying attention to me. I should have seen this earlier. All the clues were there, I just didn't put them together. Because why should I? I shouldn't have to act a certain way just so she doesn't feel bad. That's her problem, not mine. It's not like I'm even hitting on anyone. When guys talk to me I just talk to them like they are people. I don't see it as meaning anything more than that. Does that make me naive? I don't see what the big deal is about a guy and a girl just making conversation. But for some reason she starts acting really weird whenever she notices a guy talking to me, and she tries to pull his attention away from me.

 

I need some time to digest this information. This is such a weird feeling. How could I have not seen this before? I'm not sure if there is another reason or not for why she feels that way. I suspect there might be but I'll probably never know unless she says something. I wonder what this says about me, that I could inspire feelings of jealousy in someone else.

Edited August 27, 2012 by SpiralOut

[SpiralOut]

An interesting turn of events.

 

Jen has found a new target. It's a new girl that was hired. I saw this coming from a mile away. The new girl has the same demeanor that Jen used to have - softspoken, shy, quiet. She is of the same background also. So I suspected that Jen might see her as competition.

 

Jen is not hiding her dislike of the new girl (let's call her Beth) very well. Jen finds petty things about Beth to get angry and complain about. As far as I know, she didn't do anything wrong to Jen. Unless you count getting Jen's name wrong, which I'm sure was an honest mistake, but Jen was furious about that.

 

I saw them in the breakroom one day. Beth was trying to make conversation with Jen but it wasn't going very well. Jen was answering in a very disconnected and bizarre way and there were awkward pauses. You could practically see the wheels turning in Beth's head as she attempted to understand Jen and figure out what the hell to say to her. I'm guessing she must be reacting the same way I always did to Jen - I always had trouble understandting WTF she was talking about. Jen made comments to her that were obviously meant to establish dominance.

 

The funniest thing is that Beth just walks around looking perfectly calm and unaffected, while Jen is just ranting about her behind her back for no apparant reason. Jen is making herself look like a crazy person. I feel kind of bad for Beth that she has to deal with this; I should start talking to her soon. If the opportunity ever comes up where she asks about Jen or something weird happens, I want to be able to say something to let her know she's not imagining things.

 

Anyway I'm just fascinated by the whole thing. Just wanted to share that, since I think it's hilarious. Well I guess it sucks for Beth, but it's hilarious that Jen is acting like the biggest moron. I saw her right before I left today and she looked so damn angry. LOL.

[whichwayisup]

Take Beth aside one day when Jen isn't around and just tell her to not let anything Jen says get to her and just ignore/don't react, focus on work and not get caught up in Jen's games. Don't bash Jen, but say from your own personal experience the best way to handle her is not to react. I'm sure this new girl would appreciate the heads up!

[JohanaSmith]

I had the same experienced before. But what I did was to understand my friend. What she does or did is part of her personality. So, as a friend, you should accept whatever and whoever she is, because that what friends are for. You should accept and love her in anyway despite the bad things she has done. In time she will realize all of those.

[Hawaii50]

OP...

 

Jen seems unthoughtful and or inconsiderate on many levels. From rehashing yoga repeatedly to asking about Emma.. Either she isn't listening to you whatsoever or she doesn't care to. Either way, I don't befriend those types of folks.

[SpiralOut]

Take Beth aside one day when Jen isn't around and just tell her to not let anything Jen says get to her and just ignore/don't react, focus on work and not get caught up in Jen's games. Don't bash Jen, but say from your own personal experience the best way to handle her is not to react. I'm sure this new girl would appreciate the heads up!

 

Yeah I will do that. I know that I would have appreciated a heads up.

 

I had the same experienced before. But what I did was to understand my friend. What she does or did is part of her personality. So, as a friend, you should accept whatever and whoever she is, because that what friends are for. You should accept and love her in anyway despite the bad things she has done. In time she will realize all of those.

 

She is not my friend. So no, I do not need to accept whatever and whoever she is, because I do not respect her or like her. I do not have to accept and love her despite the bad things she has done, because that's what people with poor boundaries do.

[SpiralOut]

I have distanced myself from someone I get along with (well, used to) because she has become too close to Jen. Everyone else Jen befriended takes her with a grain of salt, even though they like her, because they know that something's not right. This other person though, just doesn't see any of it. She's completely blind to it.

 

This person has started to act rude and hostile towards me and makes jabs at me about stupid things that are none of her business and quite frankly makes me wonder what the hell she's doing thinking so much about it for. Normal people don't hold such stupid little things against someone (I'm talking about things like the music I listen to). She's starting to act just as immature as Jen. Although, I should have seen this coming. She's said some brutal things about other people that were totally uncalled for.

 

I feel like Jen is making a clone of herself through this girl. Either that or she found someone who is just as mean-spirited as herself. But that's okay. Let her act hostile towards me in front of everyone and I will brush it off and let her make herself look bad.

 

Jen hasn't attacked me or been rude to my face (probably because I haven't been alone with her) although she has started up passive-aggressively. For example there is a man she only flirts with if he and I are having a conversation. She'll see us talking, come over and make up excuses to touch him. It makes me want to laugh at her and hit her at the same time. This guy has a girlfriend and she knows it. He and I are buddies only. I can see what she's trying to do but it makes no sense. She just looks like a moron.

 

I now see the way she comes across to other people. One day she came into the break room - there were 5 of us in there - and just out of nowhere starts sharing something about herself she really shouldn't have said. There was just an awkward silence and nobody making eye contact. She didn't seem to notice. She also acted strangely towards another girl who was trying to be nice to her.

 

Anyway at this point I am not too bothered, mostly just annoyed I guess and disturbed. It scares me that someone could be that way and be so deluded about the way that she is. I just feel so embarassed for her.

Edited September 7, 2012 by SpiralOut

[SpiralOut]

I just spent some time with two old friends of mine that I don't see often. I'm in my hometown right now, far away from everything that was happening in the city. It is helping me to gain some perspective. These friends don't put me down. They don't overstep their boundaries. They respect me. I'm not in the best place right now and I know they see that but they accept me as I am and don't say anything to make me feel bad.

 

I briefly mentioned Jen to one of my friends. I didn't say much, just that she was harassing me to hang out with her and would then be rude to me whenever I did. I also mentioned having people over to my apartment and Jen standing in my living room insulting me. My friend thought it was extremely weird.

 

So I feel validated now.

 

I think I can see what happened. When I first met Jen, I attempted friendship with her. She acted really strangely when we hung out, so after that I did not contact her and we did not see each other for a year. We cross paths again at work. She expects things to be the same. It's not the same. I've changed and I've got stuff happening. I'm not too interested in being friends due to how odd she acted last time I tried to get to know her. She's not stupid. She knew I didn't want to hang out with her. Instead of leaving me alone, as a normal person would do, she became angry and tried to force me to act the way she wanted me to. She acted jealous whenever I hung out with other people.

 

I have no idea why she would ever have thought we were good friends but I'm pretty sure that's what she thought. I've noticed that she misinterprets things, taking jokes seriously, or taking small things totally out of context and thinking I did her a favour when I didn't. Stuff like that.

 

I'm starting to think she has no idea what it's like to have a real friend. Because if she knew, then I don't think she would act that way. I don't think she understands how to be a friend to someone. I've seen the way she acts towards other people, not just me, and it's pretty messed up.

 

I've also seen how she talks to other people who have their heads on straight and those are the people she has trouble talking to. I'm actually shocked at how clueless she can be, like the way she can't follow normal conversation.

 

Anyway I'm feeling much better now. In a few years time, I'll look back on this and be like ah yes I remember that crazy chick.

Edited September 18, 2012 by SpiralOut

[SpiralOut]

I just read through some articles about co-dependancy. Jen fits the description perfectly. Everything. The way she gives unsolicited advice, has poor boundaries, loves drama, and tries sooo damn hard to make people like her, and I mean everyone. I wasn't being very nice to her and she still kept trying to make me like her. If people asked her for her opinion, like what would you prefer on your pizza, she would become angry and refuse to say what she wanted. She changes her opinion based on what the people around her think. She used to get very excited if she saw me walking on the sidewalk, wanted to know what I was doing. If I was only getting groceries, her face would drop and she would sound so disappointed. Like, okay, sorry for buying food for myself after work on a weeknight? Geez, I don't understand why you want so badly for me to be doing something interesting. I think she wanted to have something exciting to latch onto. On and on and on. There's not enough room here to list all the examples, but everything she's doing fits it. Co-dependency. She doesn't know how to be her own person.

 

Also, the girl she is friends with now isn't her sidekick. Jen is the sidekick. She talks about her drama and Jen listens to it all. I also noticed that her friend spents lots of time with another coworker outside of work, but does NOT spend much time with Jen outside of work, she just uses Jen as a sounding board from what I can see. Jen needs to have someone opinionated and outspoken who says everything she doesn't have the nerve to say. That way she can stand there and nod her head along and agree. It explains why she would try to make me do things or say things for her that she was too scared to do herself. Well, I'm not doing that for you. Do it yourself. It also explains why she wanted to know all about everything happening in my life, especially the "juicÿ" (aka private) stuff. I think she enjoys being a sounding board.

 

Oh yeah right now she is acting like she is hot **** because her sister is in the hospital and is asking Jen to help her. The way she talks about it, and the smiles of glee that I see on her face, really disturbs me. She likes to be needed. I cannot believe she so openly enjoys what is happening. If my family member was in the hospital I would be worried and I would not talk about it with people at work.

 

[/rant]

 

I think Jen is also the key to understanding my issues with a family member. There are many similarities between the two of them. I'm hoping that my experience with Jen will help me to understand and fix my family issues.

Edited September 30, 2012 by SpiralOut

[darkmoon]

don't get caught up with these women, i think they'll be meaner when any chance for promotion arrives, so i think unless anything at work is truly work-related, ignore it, i bet there are alot of ppl in your office that are less in-your-face that you have nothng much to do with and these women belong more in this category, let them gossip and be unprofessional at work it puts you at an advantage

Edited September 30, 2012 by darkmoon

[SpiralOut]

don't get caught up with these women, i think they'll be meaner when any chance for promotion arrives, so i think unless anything at work is truly work-related, ignore it, i bet there are alot of ppl in your office that are less in-your-face that you have nothng much to do with and these women belong more in this category, let them gossip and be unprofessional at work it puts you at an advantage

 

Thanks. Yeah I don't talk to them if I don't have to, nor do I say anything about them to others. Right now I just stand back and watch and let them make me look good by comparison.

[SpiralOut]

Deleting post. I should stop venting so much. Mostly I'm just becoming angry with watching her be so nasty to the other girl. It feels like watching her be nasty to me. I felt so angry today. I almost want her to corner me in the lunchroom alone, like she used to, just so I can tell her off. I don't think I'll have any problems calling her out on her behaviour.

Edited October 5, 2012 by SpiralOut

[whichwayisup]

Deleting post. I should stop venting so much. Mostly I'm just becoming angry with watching her be so nasty to the other girl. It feels like watching her be nasty to me. I felt so angry today. I almost want her to corner me in the lunchroom alone, like she used to, just so I can tell her off. I don't think I'll have any problems calling her out on her behaviour.

 

Feel free to PM if you don't want to vent about it on here. You know I've been following your situation with her since day one.

[SpiralOut]

I am no longer bothering to try and understand what's up with her. The only people who might know the truth of it all (and actually be honest about it) would be her sisters, whom I'll probably never meet.

 

Her sense of humour is off. Whenever she makes up a joke it is always something nasty. Her friend called her out on how mean she is with her jokes, and Jen was surprised. She doesn't understand how mean she is. So when she made that joke about me and my ex-boyfriend being broken up, I don't think she knew how offensive that was. She has probably forgotten all about it, and if I were to mention it to her now, she would probably insist that it was a funny joke.

 

So maybe I shouldn't feel so offended by it. That's like being offended by a dog taking a crap on the carpet. That's just a dog being a dog. This forces me to look down on her as being a below-average, below normal person which bothers me for some reason. I don't like it.

 

Oh right, I had this revelation this week when she asked me to pose with her in a photo. I do absolutely nothing to give her the impression that I like her. I ignore her when she says hello to me. Sounds cruel, but she misinterprets things. I mean, I filled in for her when she was sick one day and she THANKED me for it the next day! As if she thought I had done it as a favour for her or something?? I didn't have a choice! It makes me feel so uncomfortable that she does that. And why would she ask someone who clearly dislikes her, to stand beside her and smile for a picture?

 

I don't know if I'm even angry anymore. Mostly I just feel uncomfortable.

[todreaminblue]

I guess mostly I only hang out with her in a group setting. In a way I guess I feel flattered that she seems to want to be friends with me. In many ways, she is a cool person and I like her well enough. We just aren't clicking in the way that I look for when I'm trying to make friends.

 

This may just be me being picky but I don't think I can handle being friends with someone who basically humiliates me in front of other people. I don't think she even embarassed me on purpose but the things she said indicates that she lacks some common sense and/or sensitivity.

 

I still see her every day but I'll be keeping her at arm's length. Thanks for the advice

 

Being humiliated in a social situation is hard to deal with.Some people dont think before they say things they just say them they dont mean to do it.Still doesnt stop it being humiliating.

 

I have a tolerance to being humiliated the tolerance built up over the years.In saying that I am not one to go out of my way to make friends.I am pretty reclusive......this is my decision my choice.......I have come out of my shell a little lately.....and i have regret about that.As far as humiliation goes when it isnt intentional but part of someones personality makeup that they say inappropriate things you cant blame them and all through life people like this will cross your path if you decide to be part of the social scene where ever that may be...we are all guilty of saying inappropriate things or hurting others feelings every single one of us so i always try to keep that in mind....if i was perfect i could judge someone but i am not....talk to her let her know give her a chance to know exactly how you feel. See if it helps have some patience with her and see if you can work things out with Jen.Sometimes it takes a little effort with people not everybody thinks acts or behaves the same way as you do or feels like you do......Find the good in jen.......concentrate on that when she says something inappropriate or pull her up get her aside and tell her "im sorry that you feel that you can say those things in front of people about me"( a very wise person once told me this gem)"

 

I dont think you understand how it makes Me feel Jen"....that should open up the dialogue for you to define what is appropriate and what you find inappropriate in your social scene........i wish you the best......in life and friendship.....deb

[whichwayisup]

Did you pose? I wouldn't have. Probably would have causally laughed and said no I hate having my picture taken and walk away..Graceful exit!

 

She has issues and has her head up her ass.

 

Still proud of you Spiral! All the hard work you've done to work through this and come out the winner.

[SpiralOut]

Being humiliated in a social situation is hard to deal with.Some people dont think before they say things they just say them they dont mean to do it.Still doesnt stop it being humiliating.

 

I have a tolerance to being humiliated the tolerance built up over the years.In saying that I am not one to go out of my way to make friends.I am pretty reclusive......this is my decision my choice.......I have come out of my shell a little lately.....and i have regret about that.As far as humiliation goes when it isnt intentional but part of someones personality makeup that they say inappropriate things you cant blame them and all through life people like this will cross your path if you decide to be part of the social scene where ever that may be...we are all guilty of saying inappropriate things or hurting others feelings every single one of us so i always try to keep that in mind....if i was perfect i could judge someone but i am not....talk to her let her know give her a chance to know exactly how you feel. See if it helps have some patience with her and see if you can work things out with Jen.Sometimes it takes a little effort with people not everybody thinks acts or behaves the same way as you do or feels like you do......Find the good in jen.......concentrate on that when she says something inappropriate or pull her up get her aside and tell her "im sorry that you feel that you can say those things in front of people about me"( a very wise person once told me this gem)"

 

I dont think you understand how it makes Me feel Jen"....that should open up the dialogue for you to define what is appropriate and what you find inappropriate in your social scene........i wish you the best......in life and friendship.....deb

Thanks. I might use that line if the opportunity comes up. It's a good one. If I were in a better place with my confidence (and if she hadn't attacked me so much!), I think it would be easier for me to have some compassion for her. Hopefully that day will come.

 

Did you pose? I wouldn't have. Probably would have causally laughed and said no I hate having my picture taken and walk away..Graceful exit!

 

She has issues and has her head up her ass.

 

Still proud of you Spiral! All the hard work you've done to work through this and come out the winner.

 

Hell no I didn't do that!! You're right, she DOES have her head up her ass. I could give so many more examples of it but why bother.

 

I think she's partly leaving me alone because I've been extremely quiet lately. I needed some time to observe things. She mostly attacks me if I'm being outgoing or if other people are paying attention to me. I don't know if I've mentioned this or not, but she has made comments about how she thinks she is the same as me.

 

 

Now that I think of it, that explains a lot. Anyway, I'm becoming more talkative again, so we'll see how she deals with that.

[SpiralOut]

There is just one thing I don't know how to handle. It has happened before and I'm worried it may come up again.

 

Whenever I do something she considers to be normal, she acts amazed. Sometimes it's funny when she does it because of how stupid she looks. But sometimes she'll say something to me. She doesn't put me down exactly but she'll speak to me in a way that is inappropriately intimate.

 

Here's the best example I can think of:

 

We were talking about something, I don't remember what it was. But she brought up this one day at work when someone had made me laugh really hard.

 

"Wow. That was the FIRST time that everyone saw you LAUGH!!" she told me. Her eyes were big with wonder, a look of awe on her face.

 

 

WTF???

 

I've laughed plenty of times in front of people, first of all. Second of all, why are you speaking to me as if I am some sort of special needs child who just accomplished something amazing? Or perhaps I'm a monkey?

 

 

It felt very intrusive. Sometimes when I laugh, others will tell me I should laugh more often. But they don't make comments regarding the way that others look at me. That's really rude.

 

Today I was at my desk and she spoke to someone beside me. She asked her how was her weekend. Then she said "oh I heard that SpiralOut went to [other coworkers] place this weekend." Then she paused, and I could feel her looking at me but I didn't say anything. The other person (who hadn't gone) didn't say anything. Obviously she wanted to know what happened. She then changed the subject and moved along without bothering me.

 

That one small incident makes me feel like I should expect something to happen soon.

Edited October 30, 2012 by SpiralOut

[Baroncraig]

I think the best thing you can do is be direct with her. If you don't want to talk about a subject, just say "I'd rather not discuss that." If pressed, say "It's none of your business." Because it isn't. Call her on her bad behavior -- casually ask her "Why do you put people down like that?" if she puts you down in public again. Stand up for yourself more, especially when she makes a scene in front of other people. I'm glad you're coworker stood up for you, but it will be better if you do more of that yourself. I think your coworkers already know what a jerk she is, but you'll probably be more respected if you don't let her walk all over you. It will also show her that your not putting up with her crap, and she'll probably be less likely to bother you. Odds are, she'll move on to someone else she can be "better" than.

[SpiralOut]

Baroncraig, is there a reason for why you copied part of NoMagicBullet's post response from page 1 of this thread and pasted it here?

[AbijahAlice]

When you start a new friendship, do you expect a roughly reciprocal balance between your visits and theirs :?

[SpiralOut]

Okay, her nasty side is coming out again.

 

Most of it is being directed at the other girl. She was condescending as hell to her today (again) and this time the girl became angry and fought back against her. Jen didn't understand why she got mad at her; she honestly thinks she did nothing wrong.

 

She is starting to take a tone when it comes to me too, though not as bad as with this other person. As I mentioned earlier, she found out about a social event I went to; stuff like that triggers her. She saw me acting very outgoing yesterday, which I suspect may be another trigger. I have been feeling better this week so I've been acting more like myself - more like the way I was when she first started giving me problems. I am talking more easily with everyone. I feel like I was in a fog for a while and I am lifting myself back out of it.

 

I'm also feeling less afraid of her. I look her in the eye. I pay attention to what she says and how she acts around others. I see how others react to her. It used to sort of annoy me when others liked her. But now I see that they are nice to her because they can see she's missing a screw and they are either amused by it or feel sorry for her.

 

She has laughed at me a couple of times. If she doesn't like someone and they say something she thinks is stupid she laughs at them. She laughed at the other girl last night when it really was not necessary. I'm getting better at ignoring it. I see now it is not about me. It is about her. I think my theory is right. I think she really DOES leave me alone so long as I keep to myself and don't say much. So long as I stay "in my place" as she probably sees it.

 

 

I honestly think that Jen is unaware of how rude and mean she can be. I overheard a conversation between herself and her friend. Her friend has not seen her bad side (either that or overlooks it when she sees it). Her friend was making some comments about how she hasn't seen her mean before but she bets that when she is that she's really nasty. Jen laughed it off and denied it, saying that she's very nice. Then she giggled and said, "well, except for just this one time." (I'm betting it was the story she bragged to me about, when she told this girl that her husband doesn't love her). Oh god I think she might be seriously delusional about the type of person she is.

 

It's interesting right now because we have a new guy with us. He is very smart. He has his head on straighter than the rest of us, myself included. He has already called someone out on something, but he did it in a way that was nice. He talks to Jen like she's a 10 year old, but not in a rude or condescending way, if that makes sense. So it makes me feel better to have him around right now. it encourages me to handle myself properly around her so that people can see the truth of what's happening.

 

Right now I'm just waiting for her to expose herself. She is comfortable enough around most people now, enough so that she may forget herself and strike out against me in front of them. I have a few ideas in mind of what to say to her such as "Okay, I dont' think that tone of voice is necessary," or I could even ask her "why do you laugh at people?" to put her on the spot.

Edited November 1, 2012 by SpiralOut

[darkmoon]

She's a bitch, i think as soon as you stop her rankling you, affecting you, the batter you'll feel. You are in her thrall, reacting waiting and reacting some more.

 

It is hard to detach, there's a fascination in trying to win, but she is a tough person who probably thnks (or needs to tell herself) that she's better than other people. Deep down, you need to re-adjust your perception of her, her motive is to dominate, but she is a saddo, in an office acting like this - it's just her job, yet she emotes.

 

I don't think she can have much of a life away from work, in spite of what she says, if this is what she's like at work, her only human outlet.

[whichwayisup]

She's an insecure bitch.

 

Go talk to this other girl and give her a big heads up and let her know just to ignore what J says, don't react etc..

 

Everybody should just not pay any attention to her. She is lookin for reaction and attention. All the meanwhile she is being paid to do a job, actually WORK, yet she is caught up in causing shi.t and drama at the workplace. Sooner or later that will catch up to her and the boss should talk to her, put her in her place.

[SpiralOut]

She's a bitch, i think as soon as you stop her rankling you, affecting you, the batter you'll feel. You are in her thrall, reacting waiting and reacting some more.

 

It is hard to detach, there's a fascination in trying to win, but she is a tough person who probably thnks (or needs to tell herself) that she's better than other people. Deep down, you need to re-adjust your perception of her, her motive is to dominate, but she is a saddo, in an office acting like this - it's just her job, yet she emotes.

 

I don't think she can have much of a life away from work, in spite of what she says, if this is what she's like at work, her only human outlet.

 

Yeah I really don't think that she does have much of a life outside of work, which in all honesty I can relate to but you're right, she is treating this as her main social outlet. If she wants to be that way she should be doing it in her own free time, not in a professional setting.

 

You are right, I'm still reacting to her. I am fascinated by her. I just can't believe someone like her can exist.

 

How do you think I should re-adjust my perception? I'm trying to but it's not working. Right now I just look at her like she's this crazy person. I can't stop trying to figure out why she is like this. Why has she chosen me as someone to dominate? Why is she not understanding that she can't do that? She cannot ever convince me to trust her again. I will never socialize with her willingly. I will never confide things in her again. She might be able to make a fool of me if she catches me when my guard is down but I will never ever speak to her as if we are friends or even friendly aquaintances. Yet she keeps trying trying trying trying. WTF is wrong with her? Why is she not giving up? Aside from the fact that she's a bitch? Because I've met plenty of bitches before but none that acted this way. I just don't understand.

 

 

She's an insecure bitch.

 

Go talk to this other girl and give her a big heads up and let her know just to ignore what J says, don't react etc..

 

Everybody should just not pay any attention to her. She is lookin for reaction and attention. All the meanwhile she is being paid to do a job, actually WORK, yet she is caught up in causing shi.t and drama at the workplace. Sooner or later that will catch up to her and the boss should talk to her, put her in her place.

 

Yes I am probably going to say something. I am on friendly terms with this girl now. Jen gets away with being rude to her because this girl is unpopular. She is very rude to a number of people, so the others think she deserves this treatment from Jen. I will have to handle this very carefully.

 

I feel better hearing someone call Jen a bitch. haha. That's pretty much what I think she is, but I wanted to provide as objective a description of her as possible.

 

Jen is now going out of her way to complain about this girl. I hear her in the lunchroom, in my department, in customer/public areas, just trying to get everyone on her side. It is unprofessional and immature. I am finding it difficult to stay quiet the more I see her acting this way.

 

It is difficult knowing that I am going into another round of dealing with her crap. I think the best thing I can do is to just be as professional as possible. Right now her way of attacking me is trying to find things wrong with what I do, much more so than usual. She tried to correct something of mine yesterday, which I knew was correct, but I humoured her and sent it to someone to verify it. She did not say a word to me about it when the paperwork was sent back to her, but I saw for myself that she was proven wrong. She also acted rather rude towards me today, trying to tell me I did something wrong when it was correct. She was being stupid, actually, and someone made fun of her for it but she didn't laugh. She is also trying harder to initiate chit-chat with me. I'm guessing she's looking to find out more about me and what I'm doing so she can find out if she thinks she's still better than me or not.

 

Oh my god. It feels good to vent that out. I am now researching the topic of "dominating" and "controlling" people. Maybe I should research detachment also, since I'm having trouble letting go of this. I think part of me still feels violated by her past behaviour, I really can't stand the idea of her grubby little fingers picking away at me again.