MizHoney2U Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 we talk about NC and meeting new ppl... Think about it, how cool would it be to meet someone and be able to honestly tell them that you are still in break-up recovery and that you are only needing this companionship to RE-up. RE as in recover from a broken heart, RE-gain your confidence, RE-boost your ego, re-member how you felt (where you emotionally), and RE-turn to your "normal" self. Sure, we can go out, but I'm not gonna sleep with you, I'm not gonna try to be romantic with you because if my Ex were to call me right now, ready to be all that he knows I want him to be.... I would drop everything to welcome it....But if he doesn't, I don't him to know that I am having a hard time moving on. That way there is no real rebound, and decrease in the chances of us going into another relationship and end up hurting the other person. Imagine being able to tell someone that and they still want to hang out with you... that is one thing I would love to have right now. Link to post Share on other sites
TheJiltedGeneration Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 (edited) hmm.. not really a good idea because what your essentially saying to that new person that "I am just using you as a 'comfort blanket' in passing, and potentially your expendable once I've recovered and when I do I'll probably totally move on from you as well.. ". I know what your trying to say, kind of use a nice person to just take your concentration away from your ex, but then the ugly truth is when it comes to the time of "recovery", you;ll probably move on, forget them, and pretty much be doing to them what your ex has done for you, and that wouldn't be nice for them would it.. does that make sence? Edited October 25, 2011 by TheJiltedGeneration Link to post Share on other sites
Author MizHoney2U Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 **sense.... at any rate, i am really saying that I need a platonic relationship w the opposite sex... I don't have that. Link to post Share on other sites
fistandantulus Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 This could be an option if and only if the other person is also in the same situation. Actually, it would be great to have somebody at your disposal that you can let your emotions out by talking and without worrying yourself about boring other person. Of course on condition that you should be ready for listening to her/him also. This is actually what everybody here is doing except the face-to-face part. May be one of us could arrange an actual meeting and we can hang out as loveshack community Link to post Share on other sites
Author MizHoney2U Posted October 26, 2011 Author Share Posted October 26, 2011 This could be an option if and only if the other person is also in the same situation. Actually, it would be great to have somebody at your disposal that you can let your emotions out by talking and without worrying yourself about boring other person. Of course on condition that you should be ready for listening to her/him also. This is actually what everybody here is doing except the face-to-face part. May be one of us could arrange an actual meeting and we can hang out as loveshack community That would be cool, very cool, however, I am referring more to the un-lover so to speak... because we'd be everything but in love... and hopefully the best of friends after being there and helping one another thru the rocky times with no strings attached. Yea... I'm being unrealistic but i'd go for it. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 honestly, it would be great. i wish i had said this to the person who i grieve over now. wish i did that when we first met. it would have been honest and i do believe he would have still accepted me looking back in retrospect. i was in that situation when i met him and i didn't fully get over grieving someone else. i had a lot of baggage and i was stressed to the max. he was an awesome comfort. i needed a friend. he wanted someone to love and to love him back. and i fell in love with him so so deeply....but i was still in deep muck with my life and unresolved circumstances and issues. and i hid that from him because i didn't want to lose him. but that , would be, in the very end, what caused me to lose him to begin with....(after 10 years) because i acted like a fool throughout the whole relationship with him due to my problems with my life that didn't get resolved were surmounting to him. he got married 6 months after he broke up with me. lesson to all. be honest how you feel. say it. i like the way mizhoney worded it actually in the original post here. it is key to say these things. there are people who can understand that. or who might like you enough to wait. but dont pretend its not effecting you just to hold on to a new person. the muck will then surface in the relationship and it will all come undone anyway. so be upfront so they have a clue and it will ease your stress and likely theirs too in the end. i am so sorry to my ex for making his life a hell when with me, by not being able to cope with the balancing act i was up against. solve your troubles...heal your heart and soul. then give back all you can to someone who really loves you. Link to post Share on other sites
toosoft Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 Problem is, unless your very strong willed, I doubt it would stay platonic... Link to post Share on other sites
Thieves Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 It's very easy to lay down the law, but harder to actually follow through on it and stick to it. Be honest with yourself. Even when two people sit there and draw a line, and say, "This will stay strictly platonic", someone usually ends up getting feelings for the other -- whether they say it out loud or not. It happens too often for me to think otherwise. Things seem normal at first, but then more time passes, things happen, and things start to get blurry... Link to post Share on other sites
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