YouNeverKnow86 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 When a female dumper says "there is something missing" but can't really put a tab on it what does it mean? This was stated to me out of the blue during the conclusion of what seemed to be a perfect short term relationship. I need a girls perspective on this one. Probably the most confusing thing someone could say to you....... Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 When a female dumper says "there is something missing" but can't really put a tab on it what does it mean? This was stated to me out of the blue during the conclusion of what seemed to be a perfect short term relationship. I need a girls perspective on this one. Probably the most confusing thing someone could say to you....... Well I'm not a girl but I can say my now ex. g/f said that to me and a week later she dumped me for her ex. I assume they fell out of love with you,,, loss of attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
HappyFlower Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 If the r'ship was short term, it might mean she liked you a lot, but for some reason just didn't feel much for you. I had it with one ex in particular. We got on really well, saw each other regularly, had a great time and he was a lovely guy, perfect for me on paper...but for some reason, I didn't feel enough for him that would have made me want to consider a long term thing. I felt kind of bad about it too Link to post Share on other sites
Author YouNeverKnow86 Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 If the r'ship was short term, it might mean she liked you a lot, but for some reason just didn't feel much for you. I had it with one ex in particular. We got on really well, saw each other regularly, had a great time and he was a lovely guy, perfect for me on paper...but for some reason, I didn't feel enough for him that would have made me want to consider a long term thing. I felt kind of bad about it too Yeah I think she was comparing me to what she felt for her ex. She said I was perfect, a great catch and wish she didn't feel that way. She is 22 and I am 25 maybe one day she will realize what she had. Did you and your ex become friends later on? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 I would translate that as "I want to play the field some more". Though it could mean anything really. It's pretty vague. Basically it just means "I don't want to take things any further with you". Link to post Share on other sites
HappyFlower Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Yeah I think she was comparing me to what she felt for her ex. She said I was perfect, a great catch and wish she didn't feel that way. She is 22 and I am 25 maybe one day she will realize what she had. Did you and your ex become friends later on? That kinda sucks, was her ex recent? How long were you together? You might have been a rebound, in which case she was actually doing the decent thing by breaking it off with you. Maybe. But bear in mind it was short term. Try and move on, think yourself lucky it was only short term, and if she comes back at a later date then the ball is in your court I don't try and stay friends with ex's as a rule, and I knew this one wanted more than friends in the end and I just didn't feel it. I was friendly, but didn't make an effort in case he took it as more than what it was. Haven't spoken to him in years! Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 It ususally means the sexual chemistry is missing. They aren't turned on. Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Yeah I think she was comparing me to what she felt for her ex. She said I was perfect, a great catch and wish she didn't feel that way. She is 22 and I am 25 maybe one day she will realize what she had. Did you and your ex become friends later on? Yep heard the same crap,,, I'm so glad your in my life, you make me feel special and appreciated, so lucky to have you blah blah blah all the time she was still in love with her ex. Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine103 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 It means she has lost interest in you and she wants to explore to see if she could find do better. Talk to her or walk away, but try NOT to be rude or disrespectful. You don't want to burn bridges just in case you guys cross paths in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author YouNeverKnow86 Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 That kinda sucks, was her ex recent? How long were you together? You might have been a rebound, in which case she was actually doing the decent thing by breaking it off with you. Maybe. But bear in mind it was short term. Try and move on, think yourself lucky it was only short term, and if she comes back at a later date then the ball is in your court I don't try and stay friends with ex's as a rule, and I knew this one wanted more than friends in the end and I just didn't feel it. I was friendly, but didn't make an effort in case he took it as more than what it was. Haven't spoken to him in years! HappyFlower, Her ex and her broke up 2 years ago after a 2 year long relationship and she told me it took her a year to get over him. We were together only 3 months and everyone was floored when she broke it off, she was even upset about it. The thing is she later told me her ex contacted her, I don't know exactly when but I think this caused nostalgia and she became distant. Maybe this made her realize she didn't feel the same for me as she did for her ex? I have been moving on, the breakup was 3 months ago. It just was a shocker. Link to post Share on other sites
Author YouNeverKnow86 Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 It means she has lost interest in you and she wants to explore to see if she could find do better. Talk to her or walk away, but try NOT to be rude or disrespectful. You don't want to burn bridges just in case you guys cross paths in the future. Sunshine, We tried talking for 2 months (LC and I initiated everything besides the times she told me she was deleting me from FB or apologizing for arguing with me) but it wasn't easy because she was very cold/distant/formal and we even had 3 major arguments. She would just apologize constantly and I couldn't take it anymore. Then suddenly about a month ago she said "this was no longer fair to her and that we had to go no contact and not expect a response from her." She even said I started to scare her? This made no sense to me, I didn't do anything to scare her besides demanding to meet up once for closure reasons (she made it seem like I dumped her). She told me I wasn't listening to her about giving her space but I never knew what I wasn't listening too. So confusing! Then about 3 weeks ago I was out at the bar with another girl and she saw this and kept watching me. I tried to avoid her but she ultimately saw me kiss the other girl and she stormed out. This is after she supposedly has "no more feelings for me" and told a mutual friend that night she was happy I found another girl. I then ended it with a letter and I told her I missed her, she didn't respond like I thought (this was 2 weeks ago). I will no longer contact her again.....Any insight on all of this? Link to post Share on other sites
HappyFlower Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 HappyFlower, Her ex and her broke up 2 years ago after a 2 year long relationship and she told me it took her a year to get over him. We were together only 3 months and everyone was floored when she broke it off, she was even upset about it. The thing is she later told me her ex contacted her, I don't know exactly when but I think this caused nostalgia and she became distant. Maybe this made her realize she didn't feel the same for me as she did for her ex? I have been moving on, the breakup was 3 months ago. It just was a shocker. Hmm in that case then it sounds like you're right, the ex's coming back into the picture has changed how she viewed her r'ship with you...to put it nicely. Or, not so nicely, she broke it off with you to try again with her ex. Good that you're moving on Just think how much worse it would have been if the ex had reappeared after like a year! 3 months is little time Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 HappyFlower, Her ex and her broke up 2 years ago after a 2 year long relationship and she told me it took her a year to get over him. We were together only 3 months and everyone was floored when she broke it off, she was even upset about it. The thing is she later told me her ex contacted her, I don't know exactly when but I think this caused nostalgia and she became distant. Maybe this made her realize she didn't feel the same for me as she did for her ex? I have been moving on, the breakup was 3 months ago. It just was a shocker. 3 months ago here too. Funny, she told me also that her ex. contacted her and she just had to go back, thing is she's going back to the same problem/s that she brokeup with him for the other 2 times. Yep 3rd time back to him,, Geeze, when will she learn? Link to post Share on other sites
Author YouNeverKnow86 Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 Hmm in that case then it sounds like you're right, the ex's coming back into the picture has changed how she viewed her r'ship with you...to put it nicely. Or, not so nicely, she broke it off with you to try again with her ex. Good that you're moving on Just think how much worse it would have been if the ex had reappeared after like a year! 3 months is little time yeah I have no clue. About a month ago she told me "she wasn't seeing him so it doesn't matter" and that "my grandmother says guys always come back." So I have no clue, if she was back with him I would think she would tell me after she went off on me a few weeks ago. One time she even said, "you know what's funny, I am not even seeing anyone else" when I asked if she was. So if she was back with him/talking to him why wouldn't she tell me? Too embarrassed? Link to post Share on other sites
Author YouNeverKnow86 Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 3 months ago here too. Funny, she told me also that her ex. contacted her and she just had to go back, thing is she's going back to the same problem/s that she brokeup with him for the other 2 times. Yep 3rd time back to him,, Geeze, when will she learn? Mike, She probably never will until that guy marries someone else, we met girls with damage goods Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine103 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Just walk away and move on with your life, since she dumped you and she is treating you cold and distant when you are trying to talk things out. She sounds very, very confused and perhaps just need time to sort things out. If she comes back, then you can decide what is best for you based on how much you loved her or whether you want to give her another chance. It was her decision to leave, so walk away without causing anymore drama. Don't initiate anything else, let her do the initiating if she wants to smooth things out with you in the future since she made the choice 2 dump you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author YouNeverKnow86 Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 Just walk away and move on with your life, since she dumped you and she is treating you cold and distant when you are trying to talk things out. She sounds very, very confused and perhaps just need time to sort things out. If she comes back, then you can decide what is best for you based on how much you loved her or whether you want to give her another chance. It was her decision to leave, so walk away without causing anymore drama. Don't initiate anything else, let her do the initiating if she wants to smooth things out with you in the future since she made the choice 2 dump you. Sunshine, I totally agree with you and that is why I ended it on my end on good terms....Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
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