Why am I being attacked just because I want a sexy, successful man?

[FrustratedStandards]

Constantly on this forum, even when I answer other threads, I am shot with "well FS all you want is a sexy man with money".

 

Seriously? So all of a sudden all the guys are offended because they aren't hot and successful?

 

This bothers me so much. Yes, I want a successful man as much as a man wants a beautiful woman. NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

 

F*ck. Now I understand why I can't find a decent guy, instead of getting of their lazy a** and go to the gym, they just complain that women are shallow and only want a sexy body. And instead of actually getting a good job, again, they just sit on their lazy a** and complain that women are golddiggers.

 

I could equally stop going to the gym, get fat, stop working so hard, get poor, and then complain that all men want is a hot girl who is independant. Then i'll spend all my time complaining that I can't find a decent guy because all men are shallow.

Seriously.

[AHardDaysNight]

Pffft...all you want is a sexy man with money!

 

 

I am joking, by the way. You must be describing the bitter posters.

 

While some women go after men only because of looks and financial security, it's not the whole equation.

[FrustratedStandards]

Looks and financial stability are half of the equation itself.

[Woggle]

It's the way you come across. You come across as a gold digger who only sees men as walking wallets even if that is not what you actually are. Even men who are good looking and successful tend to stay away from this type. You don't seem like you can really provide a good reason why a man should want you to eat off his plate that he built himself.

[FrustratedStandards]

I don't need to justify my taste. I possess all the qualities I am looking for, which is why I am frustrated that I can't find an equivalent.

[azsinglegal]

Looks and financial stability are half of the equation itself.

 

It's because your posts make you sound like a shallow gold digger, that's why you're attacked.

 

If money and looks are HALF the equation - then what's the other half?

 

I think part of the reason you are slammed for these comments isn't because folks on here don't go to the gym and take care of themselves. But because there is so much more to life then money and looks.

 

Money goes away and looks fade. Once that's gone what's left?

 

Don't you want someone who's kind, compassionate, caring, who enjoys life to the fullest? Maybe someone you have things in common with? Similar hobbies and lifestyles? Similar goals? Not just money and looks?

[Emilia]

I don't need to justify my taste. I possess all the qualities I am looking for, which is why I am frustrated that I can't find an equivalent.

 

In my experience if you can't find an equal it is because those you consider suitable don't find you to be an equal. It is possible you don't possess all the qualities you are a looking for

[Mrlonelyone]

Suppose you saw a man say.

 

"Looks and a tight v@g1na are half the equation"

 

How would you react to that?

[FrustratedStandards]

The other half consists of the qualities you've mentioned.

 

I didn't want to get into this, but I once dated an incredibly amazing man. Truly, he was a genuine, understanding, wonderful, good looking human being. But he was very broke, very poor. I grew to love him to an extent, but I had to break it off because I can't make a life with him. He can barely carry his own weight.

 

That's why, although these qualities matter, financial stability weighs more than all those wonderful qualities. You can have all the wonderful qualities, but if the man isn't financial secure, then it all going to **** and this other good qualities won't save him.

 

So i've understood that financial stability is huge. You need to find people on your own level, similar lifestyles, mentalities, salaries etc. It really plays a big role.

 

If I can't make a life with this man (not marriage or kids, but live together and make a life together) then when will compassion, honesty and understanding fill in that gap?

 

It won't. So financial security is very important. If he possesses this, is good looking, then it won't matter if he's is outgoing AND compassionate, one of the two will suffice.

[FrustratedStandards]

Suppose you saw a man say.

 

"Looks and a tight v@g1na are half the equation"

 

How would you react to that?

 

Not at all. There are women out there who possess that. If these women are okay with a guy who wants these things, then I don't see a problem.

[Mme. Chaucer]

In all the threads, everybody tells you very succinctly why they take exception to your position.

 

You don't believe in love. You don't offer any love to anyone. You just want, and feel entitled.

 

You also don't intend to contribute financially to a marriage, or to have a family. Again - it's all about what you want, and feel entitled to have. Just because … you're pretty? REALLY?

 

What you do offer - evidently good looks, willingness to give sexy lingerie dances, clean an apartment and cook, is not considered a viable "trade" to almost anyone other than yourself. A "sexy, successful man" like you want for yourself can have all of these services easily from any number of women who might be even far more good-looking than you are. And they can get a different hot woman to do sexy lingerie dances every week, if they want!

 

Sorry, but you don't offer even a fraction of enough to get what you want in return.

 

And many people respond very negatively to your attitude of entitlement.

 

I'm sure all this info has been made clear, though, in your other threads.

[thatone]

because no one owes you anything. you seem to think that they do.

[fortyninethousand322]

Constantly on this forum, even when I answer other threads, I am shot with "well FS all you want is a sexy man with money".

 

Seriously? So all of a sudden all the guys are offended because they aren't hot and successful?

 

This bothers me so much. Yes, I want a successful man as much as a man wants a beautiful woman. NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

 

F*ck. Now I understand why I can't find a decent guy, instead of getting of their lazy a** and go to the gym, they just complain that women are shallow and only want a sexy body. And instead of actually getting a good job, again, they just sit on their lazy a** and complain that women are golddiggers.

 

I could equally stop going to the gym, get fat, stop working so hard, get poor, and then complain that all men want is a hot girl who is independant. Then i'll spend all my time complaining that I can't find a decent guy because all men are shallow.

Seriously.

 

Well first of all, I could care less what your standards are. If you want a rich guy with a great body, who can cook a mean souffle, and is good in bed, good for you. However since those types of guys are hard to find, you're probably going to need quite a bit of luck.

 

Secondly, not every guy who doesn't have a six pack is "fat". Lot's of guys go to the gym and are in great shape but don't look like a male model. That kind of body takes a lot of work to get and unless you have all day, every day to work out, you'll probably have some imperfections. I would hope those imperfections make us human though so who knows.

 

So in short. Have your own standards whether high or low (as viewed by everyone else). Just know that if you are hoping for someone with lots of high value, it may take some time to find that person. Such is life.

[AHardDaysNight]

Looks and financial stability are half of the equation itself.

 

So that's what you want.

 

I don't equate that with a golddigger, because, if I were dating (and I'm not!), I'd want to be financially successful, so that I can support children (if they come out of the relationship.)

 

If you don't want children, and you work yourself, I don't quite understand why you'd want someone who's well off, unless you were a golddigger?

[stillafool]

I don't see how these men can be angry with FS. She's right that men do not want to settle for a plain Jane even though looks fade. Why is her request for a goodlooking, high salaried man any different than what the men want?

[cutecatch]

Constantly on this forum, even when I answer other threads, I am shot with "well FS all you want is a sexy man with money".

 

Seriously? So all of a sudden all the guys are offended because they aren't hot and successful?

 

This bothers me so much. Yes, I want a successful man as much as a man wants a beautiful woman. NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

 

F*ck. Now I understand why I can't find a decent guy, instead of getting of their lazy a** and go to the gym, they just complain that women are shallow and only want a sexy body. And instead of actually getting a good job, again, they just sit on their lazy a** and complain that women are golddiggers.

 

I could equally stop going to the gym, get fat, stop working so hard, get poor, and then complain that all men want is a hot girl who is independant. Then i'll spend all my time complaining that I can't find a decent guy because all men are shallow.

Seriously.

 

I feel you and agree with you 100%. Just a thought though maybe the reason you cant find the kind of guy you are looking for, is because those kind of guys are not attracted to you

[azsinglegal]

You need to check out the other thread about "why men won't settle"...come back to us when you're over 35 and single. Let's see if you've learned WHY you're still single and if you've changed your tune at all.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I respond to people who come from a place of extreme entitlement very negatively, whether they are men or women. Or kids, for that matter.

[PJKino]

I don't see how these men can be angry with FS. She's right that men do not want to settle for a plain Jane even though looks fade. Why is her request for a goodlooking, high salaried man any different than what the men want?

 

Men dont want to seetle for plain jane?

 

most people i see in relationships are quite average looking so most men seem to be "settling" with plain Jane

[thatone]

I don't see how these men can be angry with FS. She's right that men do not want to settle for a plain Jane even though looks fade. Why is her request for a goodlooking, high salaried man any different than what the men want?

 

because this is her mentality...

 

I don't think this will be the case though, because the women are the ones who choose the mates. And even if the guy doesn't want her, she gets to choose whose babies she gets to keep (men still need to get laid).

 

So the ball isn't exactly in your court.

 

that's why she will NEVER get what she wants.

 

this was all discussed pretty much at length in the 'settling as women get older' thread.

 

the consensus among men being, that appearance not enough. and quite obviously, that is all she has to offer.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Furthermore!

 

The stance that hinges upon people not being "good enough" for you is very … unattractive.

 

There are plenty of guys on LS who constantly display this same position and it offends me just as much. You know, the ones who say things like "low quality woman" and "not perfect enough for me." My disgust and disdain for people who judge other people like this knows no gender boundaries.

 

Nothing wrong with liking what we like. Who wants to be with a person who is a moocher or who we don't find attractive? No one. Those who accept a person like that clearly have issues of their own.

 

But if you have your "laundry list" of what you think you deserve, just because you are … pretty? and you're not getting that, guess what.

 

It's all on you.

[cutecatch]

I don't see how these men can be angry with FS. She's right that men do not want to settle for a plain Jane even though looks fade. Why is her request for a goodlooking, high salaried man any different than what the men want?

 

Because a man can get these things whenever he wants, a women has a time frame and this chick is way pass that time frame

[carhill]

No complaints from me. I've heard this from LS females in real life too, almost the exact same words. You want what you want. I hope you find it.

 

My only caution, and this is borne from a long life of being with women and married to one, is please don't speak to and about those who don't meet your 'standards' like they don't exist. All humans are valuable, even if not your cuppa. Those not meeting your standards can be a valuable asset in your life and you theirs. Thanks.

[LoveBear22]

Constantly on this forum, even when I answer other threads, I am shot with "well FS all you want is a sexy man with money".

 

Seriously? So all of a sudden all the guys are offended because they aren't hot and successful?

 

This bothers me so much. Yes, I want a successful man as much as a man wants a beautiful woman. NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

 

F*ck. Now I understand why I can't find a decent guy, instead of getting of their lazy a** and go to the gym, they just complain that women are shallow and only want a sexy body. And instead of actually getting a good job, again, they just sit on their lazy a** and complain that women are golddiggers.

 

I could equally stop going to the gym, get fat, stop working so hard, get poor, and then complain that all men want is a hot girl who is independant. Then i'll spend all my time complaining that I can't find a decent guy because all men are shallow.

Seriously.

 

Being pretty hot and sexy myself, I don't have anything against what you're saying.

 

However if those two things are the only qualifications for a man in your life, you might get a lot of shallow relationships with men who just want a hot piece of ass woman and not too much emotional connection or other ****. I suppose thats not what you meant, but that might be what others think you mean, you know what i mean?

[dasein]

because this is her mentality...

 

Will play devil's advocate and find OP's candor refreshing. She isn't coming here with the typical rationalizing female BS criteria and then making threads about why the guys she actually chooses and gets involved with who meet NONE of her stated criteria and are actually the hot, rich "FWB" guys that the women chase after and share in a harem with other women don't work out and crying "woe is me!" "Why did he fade out??" "Why won't my '10+' FWB commit to me, a 6??"

 

She isn't out sleeping with lots of FWB and then looking for a "sucker/provider" and accepting courtship traditions from those types while doing whatever she wants with her NSA life. She is stating what she wants and seems to be pursuing her goal to get it. Whether this will bring her happiness or not is another question for another day. If even half of women were as honest as OP, here and IRL, I wouldn't have such a bad gender attitude. She's OK in my book.