Why am I being attacked just because I want a sexy, successful man?

[El Brujo]

I once dated an extremely wealthy man who I met through work. He ran the family business with his parents, and their combined net worth was around $20m. At first it was nice being picked up in a different flashy car for every date, attending parties in his big house, and going on nights out where he wore a tux and I wore an expensive dress (which I usually borrowed from his sister as I couldn't afford a selection of dresses). But after a while the cracks started to show.

 

He was constantly busy with work, and I was expected to just accept this. He had attended an expensive private school, and the fact that I was more educated than him was always an issue. He constantly corrected my accent and word usage because it wasn't upper class enough. His mom almost had a fit one time when I stirred my coffee in the wrong direction - apparently there's a whole load of etiquette which I'm totally unaware of, which includes only stirring your coffee clockwise and not touching the cup with the spoon. He would pay for things and then snidely comment that he had paid because I couldn't afford it. His parents pressured him constantly about how unsuitable I was, as I had no money and owned no land.

 

The relationship lasted three months before he finally dumped me. Despite being an educated and attractive woman, I really didn't fit into his social group. So I can say with some certainty that men who've been brought up with a lot of money probably aren't a suitable match for a woman who didn't have a wealthy upbringing herself. Perhaps a self-made man or a middle class man might be suitable if the woman is very well mannered and attractive, but climbing significantly higher up the social ladder isn't a good move.

 

Hopefully you learned a lesson that wealthy men aren't necessarily all they're cracked up to be. Now if you could only share it with a lot of starry-eyed young women!

 

I will warn you about self-made men though, being one of them myself... they're no slouches, but it isn't a good idea to get romantically involved with them unless you want to date someone who makes Chef Ramsey from Hell's Kitchen look like Santa Claus. FYI I run two businesses and have failed at 3 others in my past, so I know what I'm talking about.

[musemaj11]

I want to be a beautiful woman in the next life.

 

Life seems so fun for beautiful women. They can make as much money of their own as they want while at the same time they never run out of wealthy men who want to shower their money on them, take them in flashy cars, and take them on expensive vacations.

 

Im really jealous.

[USCGAviator]

Oh great, another rant of the same woman that just wants a hot guy with money.

[Wolf18]

I don't get it Frustrated Standards, why don't you just take out a massive bank loan, get a Scrooge McDuck style money-swimming pool, and just lay in it flicking your bean all day?

 

Just so all you rich guy chasers know: a lot of times the richer a person is, the less generous they are. I don't have a lot ,but whatever I have my people have too. They know what you're after and they've tweaked their game so that they get what they want and you get little to nothing in return. How do you think they got rich in the first place?

[azsinglegal]

I don't get it Frustrated Standards, why don't you just take out a massive bank loan, get a Scrooge McDuck style money-swimming pool, and just lay in it flicking your bean all day?

 

Just so all you rich guy chasers know: a lot of times the richer a person is, the less generous they are. I don't have a lot ,but whatever I have my people have too. They know what you're after and they've tweaked their game so that they get what they want and you get little to nothing in return. How do you think they got rich in the first place?

 

FACT! Men with money that I've ever dated are the most ungenerous folks. They would even bicker over who pays for a meal early on...and NEVER, EVER expect them to spend a large amount on dinner...if they do, you best be gettin' on your knees to thank them afterwards.

[ShannonMI]

Oh great, another rant of the same woman that just wants a hot guy with money.

Yeah what does this make thread #5 about how she's being "attacked" for wanting a successful man? Why come on here if your getting attacked. Makes absolutely no sense. Seems like she would move on.

[ShannonMI]

I don't get it Frustrated Standards, why don't you just take out a massive bank loan, get a Scrooge McDuck style money-swimming pool, and just lay in it flicking your bean all day?

 

Just so all you rich guy chasers know: a lot of times the richer a person is, the less generous they are. I don't have a lot ,but whatever I have my people have too. They know what you're after and they've tweaked their game so that they get what they want and you get little to nothing in return. How do you think they got rich in the first place?

Classic. Love this hahahahahahahaha:lmao:

[LondonS]

Because they cant afford the cost to trade them in.

 

As the saying goes, "Its cheaper to keep them."

 

Besides, most of the richest men are socially awkward men when it comes to women. Even money isn't enough to make them good with the ladies.

 

If I were Mike Zuckerberg, I would be having hot ladies in my arms wherever I went instead of some plain nerdy jane.

 

May be why you are not him...

[LondonS]

Successful men do want their somewhat equal,especially for serious long term relationships.

I work for top of the rank Investment Bank, earn well over a 6 figure salary in £, considered pretty/beautiful etc etc( cant complain) and I seem to do ok on dating front with succesful men.

Looks are by far not the only thing they look for! any girl who thinks she can bag a handsome and a succeful man just with her hotness is totally kidding herself!

 

You need to be what you want to attract in your life is my take on the matter.

[D87]

Successful men do want their somewhat equal,especially for serious long term relationships.

I work for top of the rank Investment Bank, earn well over a 6 figure salary in £, considered pretty/beautiful etc etc( cant complain) and I seem to do ok on dating front with succesful men.

Looks are by far not the only thing they look for! any girl who thinks she can bag a handsome and a succeful man just with her hotness is totally kidding herself!

 

You need to be what you want to attract in your life is my take on the matter.

 

 

Good point. What these gold diggers fail to realize is that they are dime a dozen, while successful men are very rare. For every millionaire, there are 1000+ Frustratedstandard's. Go anywhere and you can find plenty of good-looking girls. If that's all you have to offer, then your only use for a successful man is temporary entertainment. When it comes to marriage, a successful man will want an equal whom he can respect and be on the same level with.

[Anela]

I don't see how these men can be angry with FS. She's right that men do not want to settle for a plain Jane even though looks fade. Why is her request for a goodlooking, high salaried man any different than what the men want?

 

I was thinking the same thing.

[OnyxSnowfall]

Both are pretty silly, IMO.

[El Brujo]

Good point. What these gold diggers fail to realize is that they are dime a dozen, while successful men are very rare.

 

Especially in today's economy.

 

So, ladies, you can forget about that flashy new red Ferrari.

[Woggle]

I think the big issue that people are having is not the fact that she looks for a successful but that she is as caught up on gender roles as the worst make chauvinists. I think in the other thread she said that men who know how to cook act gay which is just absurd. I know a lot masculine men who know their way around a kitchen. Women fought tooth and nail not to be held in a narrow box because of their gender which is a good thing so why not extend that same courtesy to a man.

[ThsAmericanLife]

A financially successful, good looking man at the very least wants to know he is making a sound investment.

 

He can get 'temps' to fill in any time. You haven't elevated yourself above 'temp' status if you can't prove you will be there for the long haul. Rich or poor, in sickness and health... all that.

 

Does it occur to you that deep in every successful and good looking man's heart (and perhaps every successful and good looking women's heart) is the FEAR that the person who SAYS they love them doesn't really love them???

 

That, should hard times befall them (due to circumstances out of their control), that the person they loved and trusted the most will haul butt when they need them the most??? If you were married to Steve Jobs (for instance) when he got fired from Apple... what would you have done. Ditch him? What about when he got cancer?

 

Unless you can love them for who they are inside... 'despite' their other accomplishments (god given or man made)... you will not attract the best. Truly successful people do what they do because they love what they do. They aren't trying to impress anyone... and most just want a normal life with someone who truly cares about them.

[ThsAmericanLife]

Especially in today's economy.

 

So, ladies, you can forget about that flashy new red Ferrari.

 

I dunno. Porsche is more more style. Gotta love that German engineering!

 

[musemaj11]

A financially successful, good looking man at the very least wants to know he is making a sound investment.

 

He can get 'temps' to fill in any time. You haven't elevated yourself above 'temp' status if you can't prove you will be there for the long haul. Rich or poor, in sickness and health... all that.

 

Does it occur to you that deep in every successful and good looking man's heart (and perhaps every successful and good looking women's heart) is the FEAR that the person who SAYS they love them doesn't really love them???

 

That, should hard times befall them (due to circumstances out of their control), that the person they loved and trusted the most will haul butt when they need them the most??? If you were married to Steve Jobs (for instance) when he got fired from Apple... what would you have done. Ditch him? What about when he got cancer?

 

Unless you can love them for who they are inside... 'despite' their other accomplishments (god given or man made)... you will not attract the best. Truly successful people do what they do because they love what they do. They aren't trying to impress anyone... and most just want a normal life with someone who truly cares about them.

Lol, you expect too much out of human beings.

 

Maybe I am a cynic, but I dont believe that unconditional love exists.

 

Just look around you, the fact is that both men and women are only as loyal as their options.

[ThsAmericanLife]

Lol, you expect too much out of human beings.

 

Maybe I am a cynic, but I dont believe that unconditional love exists.

 

Just look around you, the fact is that both men and women are only as loyal as their options.

 

I'm sorry you feel this way.

 

I have very close friends and family members who have been married for decades.

 

But... I have looked around me, and agree that many, many people seem to be striving for 'things' to fill a hole in their lives... and search for happiness outside of themselves. I think we've all been guilty of that at one time or another.