alexa137 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 ok so my ex from 3 months ago invited me over tonight, we have been texting each other for about a month now( you would have to read previous posts to figure this all out and know more about the situation)but the past week has been some flirty texting going on, other than the normal questions, how are you, what you doing, are you working? etc... but ive been trying to get him back for awhile now. i know deep down its a wrong move because most likely will regret it since it will probably be just a sex. but how do you get him to see you or want you back if i dont go? was thinking about saying something like" as much as i would love to, i dont think it will be a good idea, but if you want to see me the next time your off work, we can get a drink or watch a movie or something. because i mean really who knows what he is thinking and his intentions are with me, only he knows that! i know that if i go i will be wondering whats gonna happen after that, will he call me? etc... you know the normal thoughts women go through after this kinda situation. i want to make sure i dont mess up with this chance of maybe him giving me another chance at a relationship. I would like some guys responses also thanks ugh!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
fistandantulus Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Leave the emotions that are driving you crazy and giving pains in your stomaach for a minute and think about it. It is not about getting somebody back into your life, it is getting your crushed ego, damaged dignity, hurt self-respect back. The chances are he is trying to use you for sex, and sex only. Do you see yourself as a person who is willing to be used and then heartbroken again? If you do, how the hell do you suppose that he will want you again? Now, another possibility is he is really willing to get back together and the only way he knows is inviting someone, whose heart he broke, to his house without apoligizing from that someone and trying to earn their love and respect again. Both of the possibilities are bad and they both mean he has very little, if any, respect for how you feel and what you want. If you are not in pursue of a revenge by sleeping with him and then treating him as if he was only a piece of meat for you, which I highly doubt you do, then there is no good in attending that invitation. If you want to get your self-respect and confidence back, then the only thing you need to do is to show him that you are not into games, and if he wants to make things work again, he needs to try better. You are far from being that girl he can have whenever he wants and dump again. Turn the tables and piss him off. He won't like this and if he doesn't try, then it means he is not worth it anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 well, to be honest i did think about getting a piece of meat for a minutes since ive been horny for 3 months but i know me and i know that since i always get feelings for every man ive slept with that since i really liked this guy alot that i would regret it and probably cry on my way home because it probably wont go the way i planned. last week i asked him to consider giving me another chance and he said not sure i would have to think about it. im just not the kind of woman who just sleeps around, never had a one night stand, but also think about that i wanted him to be the last and im tired of adding men to my "list", ive have in the past tend to go backwards instead of forwards with men, as in i would rather have sex with a man i have already than to go meet someone new and have sex and risk diseases, etc, or even maybe they beat me up or something. im not interested in any other men because they are not on my level,( as in wanting a real relationship) my ex was on my level, and i know exactly want he wants, and that is exactly what ive been trying to have and offer for over 10 yrs! Link to post Share on other sites
TLCbear Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Out of the whole month both you have been texting, have he ever said anything to you about getting back together? If not, you have your answer. Link to post Share on other sites
TLCbear Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 last week i asked him to consider giving me another chance and he said not sure i would have to think about it. If he really wanted to be with you, why would he HAVE to think about it. i would rather have sex with a man i have already than to go meet someone new and have sex and risk diseases, etc, or even maybe they beat me up or something. I can understand the comfortability of having sex with someone you have already been with, but to be comfortable to a point of not thinking the same in terms with risk of getting a disease, is a little out there. You have no clue of who your ex(es) may have slept with just the same as a new person. im not interested in any other men because they are not on my level,( as in wanting a real relationship) my ex was on my level, and i know exactly want he wants, and that is exactly what ive been trying to have and offer for over 10 yrs! 10 years???? Are you serious? You have been trying to offer this for 10 years! Is it working yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 i asked him oct 13th if he ever thinks of me and he said yes sometimes, complimented him by saying he is a good guy and regret what happened and that i feel like i lost the best guy ive ever meet and just wondering if he would give me another chance-no response he fell asleep emailed him oct 15 telling him how i felt and explaining why i got somewhat upset the day i couldnt get a hold of him and wondered if he believed in second chances and that i didnt know how he really felt and what i was trying to say is would you ever consider giving me another chance or should i just give up? hoping to get a yes or no r esponse, but his answer was : i would have to think about it, im not sure" so since then he has initiated most of the texts after i ignored him and decided to leave him alone since the email, he texted me fri through today- he works alot (8-8 5 days a week) so i know the only other thing he does is watch tv, get his son 1 or 2 times a week and go to the gym about 3 times a week,. so i know he doesnt have alot of time to do much of anything else. when we were dating we saw each other about 2 times a week. he also recently moved about 15 mins away from me now. im almost positive he isnt involved with anything,( im friends with his cousins wife and we have talked a few times, hoping she could put some good words in for me) mostly because i know i am a good woman and my dating experiences since him have been terrible. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 basically now hes just confusing me! i just want to say: " if are gonna ge me another chance then pursue me, but if you just want to play games then let me go and tell me ignore me of give me some kind of sign but dont keep being nice! ugh! men! cant understand or figure them out! Link to post Share on other sites
fistandantulus Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 Are you the dumper or the dumpee? If you are the dumper then it is very normal that he is reluctant to tell you his real feelings. You gotta be more direct. Instead of texting, meet him somewhere public and express what you want explicitly without any drama at all. If you are the dumpee, then tell him that he shouldn't contact you if he doesn't want a real relationship with you. Otherwise, you will be heartbroken. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted October 26, 2011 Author Share Posted October 26, 2011 well actually probably mroe than 10 yrs! im 41 so porbably since i was 25 or so ive been wanting a boyfriend/serious relationship but out of probably 50 men or maybe more than i have talked to/ dated ,etc only wanted friends with benefits deal! this last guy was the only one who actually took me places and went to dinner movies, bowling, batting cages, putt putt, wedding, family bday partys etc..... also incuded sex too! all the other men ive dealty with was just a visit 3 -4 times a month for about an hr! so i guess thats why i really want another chance with this last guy, because of how he treated me and was everything i wanted in a man Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted October 26, 2011 Author Share Posted October 26, 2011 no worries! he didnt even texted me last night, which is good - i guess somewhat-maybe he was thinking the same thing, that it wasnt a good idea or who really knows! but im done, not even gonna text him, deleting his # from phone right now! Link to post Share on other sites
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