Trixxie Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Hi I have a major problem. My boyfriend and I recently got engaged!!! But when I told my mom she went ballistic and freaked out in a bad sense. She didn't want to look at me or speak to me Asking over and over again how could I do this to her?! Crying!!! My mother thinks that this will be the biggest mistake of my life!!! Now a little background information is that my parents are divorced and my dad was an arsehole and my mom believes my fiance will be too. Thing is he did have a bad boy reputation in school but I believe that he shouldn't be judged on his immature school days because he has changed since leaving school. My mom and I are extremely close an I adore her and this is causing a problem for our relationship. She was always there for me to talk about my love life but not this time I hate not being able to discuss wedding plans with her!!! I need my mom. I truly love him and he is everything that I have ever wanted in a man and I just wish my mom could be happy for me!!! I mean I just got engaged I should be celebrating!!! Isn't my happiness all that matters? Please help Link to post Share on other sites
Janesays Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 How old are you? You sound very young. Link to post Share on other sites
RiverRunning Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 I agree with Jane. And how long has it BEEN since his school days? If he had a very serious and long-running 'bad boy' reputation, that's not going to slide after a year of holier-than-thou behavior. How old are the two of you? How long have you been dating? I would've said your mother's reaction was out-of-line, but given what you've said about this boy, no wonder she's flipping out. She had a bad marriage. Your boyfriend has a bad reputation. And the last thing she wants is to see her daughter marry someone and wind up in a nasty divorce herself later on down the road. Think this through. I know you're excited, but there are red flags here. Obviously, you would know best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trixxie Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 I am 23 and I know that may sound young but I have already had a lot to deal with in my life. I believe myself to be a mature responsible woman/mother able to make good decisions and if not old enough to make my own mistakes. My mom reacted the way she did because things ended badly when we dated 2 years ago. He broke up with me because I was moving away to England. But I must admit I didn't expect her to react as badly as she did!!! Link to post Share on other sites
RiverRunning Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 All right, you're considerably older than I thought, so this is what you do: If mom is launching into hysterics about how you could "do this to her," it's time for a calm conversation in which you remind her it's -your- life. Breaking up with someone because they're moving to a different country probably IS a good idea - especially if no one wants to do long-distance or risk a more painful break-up down the road. I don't see anything wrong with that. Remind her of the -good- ways he's treated you since you got back together. How he's been there for you. Some folks really do change - of their own accord and in their own time. From there, let her know that you have heard her standpoint and you appreciate it. But going forward, you would appreciate it if she keeps her differing viewpoints to herself. Link to post Share on other sites
rhenziel Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Prove to your mom that you chose the right guy to be married to. Make her realize that you will be in your full potential when you are with him. Link to post Share on other sites
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