jem04 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 I am currently taking physics and chemistry with the same professor. He is 31 and I am 23. When we are in class he makes frequent eye contact and he is always near me, I'd say maybe two feet or less away. We only have like 20 students in the class so it's not like hes looking in a general direction and I'm assuming that its me he's looking at. I got to his office and ask him questions about things all the time and I've caught him blushing a few times. When I don't pay him any attention (laugh at his jokes, make eye contact) its like he tries harder to get my attention. He has shares some personal information with me but only bits and pieces. He has subtly left hints that he's single (he works all the time, etc.). I mentioned that I thought another male professor was amusing and he quickly asked why. Sometimes when I say hi to him he brushes me off like he has no time to deal with me, but then later in the day he gets all smiley. I'm normally good at reading people, but in this case not so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 Why would you want to get involved with your professor anyway? It's not a good idea, I know several people from college who completely regret getting involved in all that drama. Forget about this guy and move on, you'll be much better off trust me!!! Link to post Share on other sites
insertnamehere Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 (edited) As someone who had a relationship (I'm male, straight, BTW) with a teacher in HS and a professor in college, here's the best method for finding out: Stick around after class or during office hours and talk to them. Now, I know what I said probably sounds screwed up in both cases, but . . . in defense of my behavior . . . The HS was in loveless marriage and eventually divorced her husband a few years after that. She remarried and believe it or not we still talk every now and then. She was an art teacher and the trick to the relationship was I found a way to always need to stay after school to do make-up work!! Awful, I know. The college prof had a husband who was dying a very slow death from cancer. He was in a state close to a quadrapalegic and had given her the green light to fool around. That evolved without any subterfuge. To be honest? We were friends outside of class time. After about a year of talking and talking about this agonizing situation things just sort of gelled around that bond. You care for someone and things happen. I also had a male college prof I was good friends with who slept with tons of his female students. Same pattern: lots of girls who came in on office time. He'd say he needed lunch and away they'd go. Dude had serious game, even if he had the decidedly unfair advantage of a deep, sexy Caribbean accent. Office time. That's the trick. Truth is human sexuality often arises out of simple proximity. FTR, I found both of my relationships very rewarding. I doubt everyone would have such supportive relationships in those situations, but it worked for me. To paraphrase Hunter S. Thompson, I can't recommend ****ing around with your profs to anyone, but it has always worked for me. Edited October 27, 2011 by insertnamehere Link to post Share on other sites
Author jem04 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 I spend a lot of time with him outside of class. I'm always in his office during his office hours asking questions, not fake ones but real ones, and he answers them always with a smile. I was joking around in a way to gauge if he was annoyed with it and said something like, "I know you're tired of me always coming in here and asking questions" he responded quickly with, "No I don't mind at all. You can come in here anytime you want. I'll basically sit up here bored if you don't." Later that day I heard him tell another female student that she has to schedule an appointment to meet with him during office hours. I attend study groups that he has regularly and it almost always ends up being just the two of us. I think he has become use to the idea of me always being around because today he said he was having a study group and looked right at me when he said, "I'm sure someone will be there." Link to post Share on other sites
insertnamehere Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 I vote for trying my old professor friend's trick. Say you're going to lunch and try to coax him along. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 He might screw up his whole career if he gets involved with a student. If you actually care about him, at least wait until you're done with his classes. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 I don't understand why everyone is actually ENCOURAGING her to do this..minus denise. I guess to each their own, but this sounds like a very bad idea to me... Link to post Share on other sites
thatgirlthatlovesyou Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 He's a teacher,thus its his job,he wants to make sure you are paying attention,he has certainly done a good job with that. He may like you,as a student or as a friend. When i was little (13-15) the teachers always did that,go back to your elementary days,and remember what it was like when the teachers actually cared about you. Link to post Share on other sites
insertnamehere Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 I don't understand why everyone is actually ENCOURAGING her to do this.. My general view on love is to leave no shot untaken. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 Date this prof AFTER you are done and out of his class. It'll be a secret, you won't be able to tell your friends, go out on dates in public, you'll be talked about and gossiped about, people will think you're the teachers pet, getting good marks all the time... Special treatment. Your family..Will they approve? This prof is committing career suicide if he gets involved with you. Maybe 10 or 20 years ago it was the in thing and not a big deal to bang the Prof, but now a days it IS. A crush is one thing, taking it to the next level is another. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 My general view on love is to leave no shot untaken. Yeah, except this guy is her PROFESSOR. I understand that you had affairs with your profs so I get why you would condone this, but I think she is making a huge mistake if she tries to get romantically involved with her professor. Link to post Share on other sites
insertnamehere Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Love in general is always a mistake! That's why it exists. Do you think a species this intelligent could perpetuate itself without an instinct to instantly blow their entire lives up in order to ****? Link to post Share on other sites
jackson561716 Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Hi! I found this app on my iphone. This book is very interesting and easy to grasp. Check it out:http://www.crucialconversationsapp.com/. It helps a lot to find and implement effective ways to face difficult situation. Crucial conversations explains powerful methods to tackle crucial situation with ease. Link to post Share on other sites
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