slimmontana Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 My girlfriend for the past year broke up about a month ago. I called it off because we seemed to be losing interest in each other I'm 26 she is 23 she kept telling me she needed space to find herself ..I gave it to her..we would still talk everyday then she told me that she had a friend Bobby that she worked with ...I asked her does she like him that way she said he is cute but too young he is 21 and that she is not looking to mess with anybody. Low and behold! We were working on trying to get back together and after 2 weeks I got to the point where I wanted to move on...but I still wanted to have sex with her..u know break up sex to wean my way out of it...that never happened because I went to her house to ask her why she has been avoiding me and why is she spending all of this time with this guy...she finally confessed that they started had sex 4 times and that she is pregnant with his child! She told me that she wants to be with me and only me!! She has only known bobby for 1 month! She says that I am the man for her that she made a terrible mistake!! I told her not to get rid of the baby because of me since there is no guarantee that our relationship would work anyway! What do I do? If she decides to get an abortion? Do I try to make this work? She swears up and down that she needs me..and loves and that she thought we were not going to be together anymore so she slept with him. She was scared to tell me because she thought I was going to leave. I love her to death! If she gets an abortion Do I take her back? Or say goodbye? Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah12385 Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 ack what a messy situation! i'd say to give her some time away from you. she seriously needs to just back up and think about things. and if she does decide to get an abortion, that shouldn't decide whether or not you take her back. do what you feel is right. ~Sarah~ Link to post Share on other sites
Author slimmontana Posted May 19, 2004 Author Share Posted May 19, 2004 Thanks Sarah.....She came over my house monday and started kissing me telling me she is not feeling bobby but she has to be around him so if she decides to get an abortion he can pay for it..I considering cutting off communication with her because i hate when I call her he is around her ..That irritates me he acts like that is his girl...little does he know...If we make it through this our bond will grow stronger...I just don't know....I just can't believe she did not use a condom! This has kept me up for the past 5 days! No way she can keep this baby, but if she does I'll just have to live with the fact. What can make someone do something like that! She has to heal herself before I even consider being with her! Link to post Share on other sites
2ndConfusedfemale Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 I hope that she isn't getting an abortion to be with you (she'd resent you for that)...You need to make sure that she is getting this abortion because it is because that is what she wants (not because of what she thinks will happen)...An abortion is a serious decision to make. I also think that you should let her know that her having or not having the child WILL NOT determine whether or not you'll get back with her (I hope that isn't what this all depends on). IF you do decide to get back with her you need to really look at yourself to determine whether you can really be with someone like her (not trying to sound judgemental). But the fact is that she did cheat on you, and she was unsafe, and this decision will be something that she has to live with forever...and if you are going to be with her you both will have to live with this forever (either way). Link to post Share on other sites
Author slimmontana Posted May 20, 2004 Author Share Posted May 20, 2004 I would never wnat her to do that to get an abortion because of me..We did take a pregnancy test yesterday and the test was negative! That's good news but she still wants to double check with her doctor to be sure!! they had sex around the 12th and 13th of May yesterday was the 19th ...so I guess if she was pregnant the test would indicate it by now...I hope her period is just late...she did not cheat on me because we were broken up for 2wks if she did cheat on me there would be no way I would take her back case closed. I guess she moved on with Bobby pretty fast then realized that I would be gone for good that she did not want to lose me...The whole situation sucks..I just can't understand how she can even let another man touch her like while she is still in love with me! I just want to put things in perspective..I love her but she has to commit to being a better person and learn how to love herself before I can ever consider a serious relationship with her...The whole situation is a mess now she has to tell that other guy what she feels...because now when we see each other we kiss each other and it feels like we are solidifying our bond..by no means we are out of the woods yet ..We are making progress but if she is pregnant I don't think I want anything to do with her..even if she gets an abortion because that scar would be to much for me handle...The thought of her carrying another man's baby would turn me off completely! So I hope the ept was right..that a negative test is a step in a positive direction for our relationship! Link to post Share on other sites
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