serrah Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 I posted on here yesterday about my bf's 'friend' that he attempted to meet without my knowledge. We talked about it, or rather I talked and he didn't say anything, which I hate. Anyway, I was under the impression that things were going to be better, that we were going to try to work on things, but I guess I am the only one who feels this way. He is already back to hiding stuff from me. Am I beating a dead horse here? Should I just say screw it and move on? If someone has a history of lying and questionable behavior, which he feels there is nothing wrong with, will it ever change? He doesn't seem to understand that his behavior threatens me. I feel like this secret relationship he insists on having with someone I know he is attracted to, and is attracted to him, is bound to lead somewhere. She is single, and they have been dancing around each other for a few years now. How can you have a perfectly platonic relationship with someone you are so attracted to and you know they feel the same? I feel that he is making her more important than our relationship and me. I feel insignificant and unimportant. He is not even willing to introduce us so I can get a feel for the situation on my own. I am usually quite good at reading people, but not with the men I get involved with --- case of the rose-colored glasses? Please I am desperate....starting to feel hopeless and depressed about everything. PLEASE..I need some advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyrannaste Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 Originally posted by serrah He is already back to hiding stuff from me. Am I beating a dead horse here? Should I just say screw it and move on? I think it is your best option. If someone has a history of lying and questionable behavior, which he feels there is nothing wrong with, will it ever change? In my experience, NOT. Well, he *might* change the day he gets dumped because of this behaviour. But more likely, he will not. The bigger problem is that he feels there is nothing wrong with it. (altough I'd really love to know if he'd still regard this behaviour as acceptable if his gf -that is, you- started acting the same way) He doesn't seem to understand that his behavior threatens me. I feel like this secret relationship he insists on having with someone I know he is attracted to, and is attracted to him, is bound to lead somewhere. She is single, and they have been dancing around each other for a few years now. I wonder if he just does not want to understand. It's easier "not to understand" when you can have your cake and eat it. How can you have a perfectly platonic relationship with someone you are so attracted to and you know they feel the same? You can't. Simple as that. Not anyway when you are not single. Please I am desperate....starting to feel hopeless and depressed about everything. PLEASE..I need some advice. I bet that no one here is goin to give you advice that is very different from: do yourself a big favour and dump this selfish cheating jerk to find someone who will respect you. Please. Hard as it might be kick his ass goodbye. Link to post Share on other sites
devastated Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 I can tell you first hand that if you put yourself in a situation where there is temptation, sooner or later things will heat up. I know this because my husband was in a similar situation with the woman that he had an affair with. They were "friends" an attraction developed next thing you know they were screwing in the bathroom. Ugly but true. The person that you are with, is at this time just a boyfriend. If he can not have enough respect for you to take your feelings about this OW seriously then I would have to recommend that you move on. Save yourself alot of heartache there are plenty of fish in the sea. Link to post Share on other sites
PatientOne Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 serrah, Pyrannaste pretty much nailed it. It doesn't sound like you will ever be happy as long as you're with this guy. He isn't showing you any respect whatsoever. And as far as "lying and questionable behavior, which he feels there is nothing wrong with"- it sounds like he may be a bit sociopathic, or at the very least a World Class Dirtball. Don't you deserve better? Hang in there, girl- you'll get through this. Link to post Share on other sites
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