Hope this s, On my way to 100% healed

[HeartBreak11]

I thought I would start a thread and talk about what has helped me and I believe it could possibly to be of some assistance to you. Lets be honest, there is only two remedies for heart break, TIME or Meeting someone else. I have not met anyone else yet.

 

 

BACKGROUND

-2 and half year relationship

 

-ended because ex didn't think I wanted to Marry her (actually opposite)

 

-last time we spoke (when we were breaking up, begged, pleaded and all the other unattractive things that go along with being a dumpee)

 

-Went NC for 6 and half months (besides bdays and family sickness), never saw ex physically

 

What go me through dark days/Months

-working out 6 days a week (Do it, I know you won't feel like it, suck it up)

 

-Eating Healthy (I still will have beers on the weekends with buddies)

 

-I got a therapist (Lets be honest, after a week or two, your friends don't want to hear about your relationship anymore, this really help sorting things out. I promise, you are normal even if you take this route.

 

-Dating sites (It gets you out there)

 

Almost two weeks ago, I bumped into ex for first time. I walked right up to the ex and there friends before they even had a chance to notice me, said my hellos, etc. I was told how great I looked, smiled returned compliments, and how do you do's....I politely excused myself from there.

 

I didn't have any regrets, false hope, etc. I felt it was the right thing to do considering we happened to bump into eachother. Infact, I felt redeemed (Prior to that, it was me begging and pleading). I only wondered the ex's thoughts (I know, it doesn't matter, curious). THat last sentence is the reason I would not claim to be fully healed, I am just so fit from the last time the ex saw me, I could only guess.

 

I have seen a lot of posts of people avoiding the ex when you happen to bump into them, I know every situation is different, I felt I took the high road without realizing what the consequences could be. They weren't that bad, no set backs, no hoping, wondering, etc. Just wondering the ex's thoughts after seeing a new me.

[Thieves]

Hey, HeartBreak! -- God, it feels weird calling you that. Glad to see you're starting to come out the other side of things. Especially after 2 and a half years! Always good to have another positive story on LS.

 

I have seen a lot of posts of people avoiding the ex when you happen to bump into them, I know every situation is different, I felt I took the high road without realizing what the consequences could be. They weren't that bad, no set backs, no hoping, wondering, etc. Just wondering the ex's thoughts after seeing a new me.

 

I think I'm pretty much the same way when it comes to exes. For some reason, I will do practically anything possible (within limits) to get over the person and be okay again, but when it comes to avoiding exes... it's just one of the things I refuse to do. I feel that at that point, it's just allowing them to have too much control over my actions... as weird as that sounds. I feel like I'd lose a bit of dignity every time I did that. But then again, I can see how a person could choose to leave quietly without a word and still have their dignity in tact. So I guess it would depend.

[davesterr]

i think if ur doing great , feel great and look great and are no longer desiring to get back with your ex all together.

and i dont mean by just telling urself this , i mean truely not having any desire anymore.

then its ok to accidently run into an ex or not to avoid the ex.

 

but if ur not at the best place u ever been.

if you somehow even just want to get back together for the slightest.

then please dont torment yourself and run into your ex.

avoid at all cost.

because im telling u when you see your ex with their new lover , it will completely break you.

 

its like a broken vase glued back together and ur almost done to put it on display but not fully.

seeing ur ex then with someone else will make the vase drop and shatter all over.

 

it is not untill u are completely moved on with no regrets and no left over feelings that you can face ur ex with dignity and walk away.

it might feel like losing a bit of dignity by avoiding ur ex.

but if you're not ready then you're not ready.

its better to feel a little bit bad for a moment by avoiding rather than bumping in on the ex and end up rock bottom again.

 

everyone is different and everyone is at a different stage.

but i feel like , this is one of those moments that are really dangerous.

so enter with caution and common sense and understanding of ur own true feelings.

[HeartBreak11]

Of course I realize everyone is different and everyone is at a different stage, this is the reason I put how long we were together and outlined what I did and hopefully it will help someone else.

 

This stuff isn't fun but there are things you can do to make yourself a better person, I can promise you this, its not sitting around and doing nothing. Anyway you cut it, life keeps moving forward.

 

I had some dark days, months, etc. I realize it could be different if I would have bumped into ex well ex was on a date. I can promise you this, I would handle it with complete class (In reality, what do you gain by not doing this). How I felt afterward may have been different. I was just pointing out, it didn't set me back seeing the ex, I think this is a lot coming from a Dumpee

 

Again, am I healed 100%? NO WAY.......I do see the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Workout, workout your issues (Therapist), date and last but not least, when you do bump into the ex and you may not be ready, keep cool, stay confident and keep it short. My brief encounter worked out well so far unless I am heading for a downward spiral soon. Lets hope not.