theguiltyone Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 So here is the situation... I have been in a long distance relationship for over a year. I have never felt so comfortable and in love with a long distance relationship. Everything just came easy and we have not had a single fight. About 6 months ago my boyfriend left the country to go play ball in Europe. Everything was great, about half way through, I flew out there to spend 2 weeks with him in Italy. After that I started getting tired of the distance and felt like it was getting harder and harder to be happy. With only a month left til he came back to the US, I was spending most of my time with this guy I am very attracted to and get along with on a lot of levels. After I cheated, I knew I had to make a choice. When my bf returned, we had plans for him to move in with me since it was the next step. It has been 2 weeks of living together and I feel like I'm disrespecting him by not telling him what happened. I still have feelings for the other guy. I know I should have called it off before he moved in, but I still love him and don't want to hurt him. I have been distant and feel like I am having to force my affection for him. What can I do now? Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 It has been 2 weeks of living together and I feel like I'm disrespecting him by not telling him what happened. I still have feelings for the other guy. I know I should have called it off before he moved in, but I still love him and don't want to hurt him. I have been distant and feel like I am having to force my affection for him. What can I do now? You are right that you are disrespecting him. And not only that, but think about it: This guy is basing his life (to some degree) based on your RS, and to that extend, based on your trust and honesty (which there's none right now). He is living, partly, in a lie right now. Very unfair towards him especially since he did nothing wrong. Do the right thing and tell him, tell them both (if guy B doesn't know you're taken). And as further advice, I suggest you don't continue a RS in the near future with either of those. Let the dust settle and if you will still want either, go for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 , but I still love him and don't want to hurt him. No you don't. You are not telling him because you want to protect yourself so he does not discover you are a cheater and a liar.. What if the situation were reversed? Do you think you would buy this same excuse you are peddling if it came out of your BF's mouth? Do yourself a favor and be honest with him. he will eventually find out...they always do. You understand that you not only cheated and lied to him but you have potentially exposed him to an STD, for I highly doubt you loved him enough to use protection with your paramour. Please allow your BF to have all the information needed to make his own decision where his life goes. You have lost any right to make concrete decisions on the relationship once you cheated. Link to post Share on other sites
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