Why is cheating bad?

[MissBee]

I don't see why people that advocate and support open marriages don't just find partners that feel the same way. Then pick and chose the people together that will fill your open marriage/relationship.

 

I'm sure there are oodles of people that are in an open marriage/relationship (right now!) that would enjoy having another woman/man join them.

 

Wouldn't this be part of picking and choosing your partner properly?

If everyone that thinks open marriages are wonderful or that people are not meant to be partnered exclusively for life would choose partners that feel the same, there would be far less BS's in the world.

 

I agree.

 

Another part of the marriage and in general relationship problem is people not knowing themselves and not having the tools to manage their own demons, furthermore that of another, they also lack the proper arsenal of tools to deal with issues that inevitably arrive in life that affect relationships. I think couples that work out and the ones I admire are those with individuals who as separate units are self-aware and truthful and they both make a commitment to themselves, to a higher power sometimes and to each other...they seek out the tools that will help them build their relationship and weather the storms as they come along. They are prepared and are always striving for betterment. Too many people simply marry...just because or form relationships just because...but there is no forethought, no commitment on both people's parts to actively engage in behaviors and gain knowledge and tools as a couple to "feed" the relationship, and most have their own unresolved issues that they believe simply dating or marrying someone will solve, but in reality it just compounds their problems.

[tami-chan]

I don't see why people that advocate and support open marriages don't just find partners that feel the same way. Then pick and chose the people together that will fill your open marriage/relationship.

They should be able to. However, you're talking about "marriage" the government nor (western) society at large, does not sanction it. Thus, there is no EQUAL protection to ALL parties under the law....so until then, it is largely a taboo.

 

I'm sure there are oodles of people that are in an open marriage/relationship (right now!) that would enjoy having another woman/man join them.

Really...short of converting to Islam or some off-shoot of the Mormon religion...where are these people?

 

Wouldn't this be part of picking and choosing your partner properly?

If everyone that thinks open marriages are wonderful or that people are not meant to be partnered exclusively for life would choose partners that feel the same, there would be far less BS's in the world.

I agree....but considering the practices and mores of most, if not all western societies, "open marriage" is still not acceptable. Edited October 27, 2011 by tami-chan

[Capris]

in many ways, yes i think it is you, or others like you who try to justify their actions and behaviors, especially with the same old tired lines of 'everyone else does it'. you mention children, so I guess if everyone is pulling guns on each other and shooting others, then it's okay if your kids are shot, because everyone does it.

 

Again, i am not trying to justify my actions. If i felt good about it, id be cheering and not on this forum. Think about it in general. Like what do people do eventually. I refuse to compare this to killing people. I am not saying, that if others do it then its ok. Obviously im surrounded by cheaters and think that the whole world is like that. Yes it is sad, i hope im wrong. But if i am not, then maybe, just maybe, we should look at this matter from a whole different view.And by "us" i mean every human being.

 

How do i know only cheaters? Seriously, i dont know. Maybe its because i am a cheater and see all the cheats and dont see the normal relationships, but even without that "filter" , seriously, most of the couples i know have cheated.

 

i personally highly doubt there will only be open marriages in the future; why even have marriage if it is going to just be one big orgy? even sounds silly typing that.

 

Thats actually close to the point of my thoughts. I have seen so many cheated couples that i do not find the point to it all. Not only cheated couples, but "to be cheated". I see all these people wanting to find someone else other then their spouse, its rediculous. So yes, why marry?

 

in my life, i have come to the conclusion that cheaters are the ones wanting open marriages, wanting excuses for their behavior and not understanding fidelity, honesty and honor. i also believe cheaters are not so happy when they find out that the person they are cheating with is also sleeping with someone else (outside of the spouse of course). it is hard to sympathise with someone suddenly acting betrayed or hurt when they find out how they were lied to and betrayed when their affair partner dumps them, returns to the spouse or finds another partner.

 

I really envy you that you still believe in honesty and fidelity. I wish i can get that back :/

[Capris]

I think you misunderstood her, Jwi. She is just throwing out ideas...like maybe if open marriages are the norm then future generations will have less cheating., etc...Obviously, it is not something she believes in ...or believe that could work for her . If everybody involved in her relationship with the MM believes in open marriage, then she wouldn't be an OW-as defined by conventional wisdom, would she? Telling her wife is not part of the dynamic of an OW who is clearly not happy with being an OW, as she is.

 

 

 

You are putting "words in her mouth", Jwi...not cool. She is guilt-ridden about her status,so no, it is not ok for her. Only time will tell how she will reconcile how she FEELS about being an OW and being an OW.

 

 

 

Where did she say this? C'mon, jwi..you know I love you, but you are reaching a tad...

 

Tami-chan, you really understood me, thank you so much for explaining and "standing up" for me!

You explained perfectly!Thanks again!

[eleanorrigby]

They should be able to. However, you're talking about "marriage" the government nor (western) society at large, does not sanction it. Thus, there is no EQUAL protection to ALL parties under the law....so until then, it is largely a taboo.

 

(Cheating is taboo as well and a lot more harmful then just finding a person that is paired or married to another person that is OK with an open relationship or marriage)

 

Really...short of converting to Islam or some off-shoot of the Mormon religion...where are these people?

 

(hey I don't know. I'm not into open marriages or relationships. Plenty of Fish perhaps?)

 

I agree....but considering the practices and mores of most, if not all western societies, "open marriage" is still not acceptable.

 

(again, infidelity sure does not have many fans either, but at least with an open marriage everyone involved in it accepts it.)

[Capris]

 

some people are not meant to be faithful. if people said no to a person when they were approached about cheating, then there would be no affair. if/when you find out the man you are currently in an affair with is sleeping with someone else, will you choose to stay? if being the ow bothers you so much, why do you continue? what makes you continue to be in an affair?

 

So sorry about your friend, yet happy she left him. Thats the weird thing about me, if i found out he is/was cheating id leave. I continue the affair because...well i dont really feel comfortable to explain beyond that, unfortunantly. Some day i might. The only thing i can say is that i would never ever ever do this again. and i wouldnt have done it if it wasnt for this specific guy. I have had other MM or men in a relationship trying to hit on me and rejected them.

 

Its weird i know, being so much against cheating, yet being a cheater yourself. I have been through alot due to this contridiction. Trying to find out if im a good or bad person etc..Its not something to take lightly, but is it all about the title or how you feel? I mean does love have anything to do with it?and im not ttalking about the sex-love, not the passion-love, not the "he sees me only at my best love"...of course im not the first who have said this. Maybe im a just totally f***d up...anyways...

 

Now,this is a ranting and trying to get off the guilt.Thats the difference compared to my question.

 

Thanks hockey for the question, although obvious and many times thought of, it made me think of my situation again and it helped me.

Edited October 27, 2011 by Capris

[tami-chan]

(Cheating is taboo as well and a lot more harmful then just finding a person that is paired or married to another person that is OK with an open relationship or marriage)

 

You are right but apparently "less harmful" than changing the "fabric that holds" society together...i.e., one husband, one wife and maybe 2 kids, otherwise, we won't have laws that only sanction monogamy, right?

 

(hey I don't know. I'm noat into open marriages or relationships. Plenty of Fish perhaps?)

 

Interesting...I could have sworn you said this:

 

I'm sure there are oodles of people that are in an open marriage/relationship (right now!) that would enjoy having another woman/man join them

 

If you didn't , correct me if I am wrong

[norajane]

in my life, i have come to the conclusion that cheaters are the ones wanting open marriages, wanting excuses for their behavior and not understanding fidelity, honesty and honor.

The thing is, cheaters would screw up an open marriage, one way or another.

 

Open marriages are NOT devoid of fidelity, honesty and honor. In fact, I would say that fidelity, honesty and honor are VITAL to making an open marriage work. As well as strong and open communication.

 

People in open marriage don't have a license to just have sex with whoever they want, whenever they want, however they want. There are rules - set between the couple - regarding the types of extra-marital relationships they have, when and how they select people, discussions, guidelines, etc. And sex with other people is not the same thing as developing a relationship with one other person, either. So there are "definitions" the couple has to create for what is and isn't "ok" for them.

 

Open marriages are not a free for all. They require much honesty and communication in order to work out well. And even then, it's difficult to account for jealousy, which can surprise people even if they think they don't believe in monogamy or jealousy.

 

Cheaters are the last people who are capable of that level of honesty and communication.

 

And I would guess that cheaters do NOT want open marriages. They don't want their spouse having sex with other people.

Edited October 27, 2011 by norajane

[FelicityShot]

Hi, i am having these thoughts lately.

 

Recently i found out about a MM that cheated and it was like the sky fell on my head. He was one of those guys that you would never ever think that they will be capable of doing it and they were one of those couples that most considered blessed...

 

After hearing about that i was like "ok, somethings wrong here"...

 

So i was thinking and id love to hear your thoughts too,

 

Why is it so bad if everyone does it?

 

I am not trying to stop my guilt or justify my actions or anything, i probably will never be able to find cheating ok, cause its how i grew up(again, ironic). I was just wondering,for years human beings are cheating and for all i know they will keep doing it, so why do we consider it so bad? Isnt it weird?

 

I have come to think generalisations on this subject are not so helpful.

 

Everyone can do baddish things. Or culture may be forcing a baddish view on behaviour which on closer inspection doesn't seem so nasty.

 

If you think all betrayal is bad, all lying and all cases where you have to weigh up deceit against other factors, then you are lying to yourself.

 

If you think you can cheat and it won't hurt anyone, you are living in a fools paradise.

 

It is OK to hurt others if you need to do so to have your own sense of self and integrity in tact, explored, or even noticed.

 

But it is ideal if you don't have to hurt others to do this.

 

Life is not an ideal. Cheating happens. Explore your own reasons, and you will work it out.

[eleanorrigby]

You are right but apparently "less harmful" than changing the "fabric that holds" society together...i.e., one husband, one wife and maybe 2 kids, otherwise, we won't have laws that only sanction monogamy, right?

 

 

I'm not following you....

 

 

As to the other question, you asked where all these people are, I can't provide locations, but I think if someone is interested in an open marriage, there will be others interested in the same thing. Find those people and leave people that want a completely monogamous relationship to find someone that wants the same! (general "You" that I'm using)

[eleanorrigby]

The thing is, cheaters would screw up an open marriage, one way or another.

 

Open marriages are NOT devoid of fidelity, honesty and honor. In fact, I would say that fidelity, honesty and honor are VITAL to making an open marriage work. As well as strong and open communication.

 

People in open marriage don't have a license to just have sex with whoever they want, whenever they want, however they want. There are rules - set between the couple - regarding the types of extra-marital relationships they have, when and how they select people, discussions, guidelines, etc. And sex with other people is not the same thing as developing a relationship with one other person, either. So there are "definitions" the couple has to create for what is and isn't "ok" for them.

 

Open marriages are not a free for all. They require much honesty and communication in order to work out well. And even then, it's difficult to account for jealousy, which can surprise people even if they think they don't believe in monogamy or jealousy.

 

Cheaters are the last people who are capable of that level of honesty and communication.

 

And I would guess that cheaters do NOT want open marriages. They don't want their spouse having sex with other people.

 

This was true in my case.

[alexandria35]

The thing is, cheaters would screw up an open marriage, one way or another.

 

Open marriages are NOT devoid of fidelity, honesty and honor. In fact, I would say that fidelity, honesty and honor are VITAL to making an open marriage work. As well as strong and open communication.

 

People in open marriage don't have a license to just have sex with whoever they want, whenever they want, however they want. There are rules - set between the couple - regarding the types of extra-marital relationships they have, when and how they select people, discussions, guidelines, etc. And sex with other people is not the same thing as developing a relationship with one other person, either. So there are "definitions" the couple has to create for what is and isn't "ok" for them.

 

Open marriages are not a free for all. They require much honesty and communication in order to work out well. And even then, it's difficult to account for jealousy, which can surprise people even if they think they don't believe in monogamy or jealousy.

 

Cheaters are the last people who are capable of that level of honesty and communication.

 

And I would guess that cheaters do NOT want open marriages. They don't want their spouse having sex with other people.

 

Great post! and so true. People who have successful open marriages have ground rules and an expectation of honesty. Even in open marriages the core family has to be protected which I would suspect would mean no unsafe sexual practices and no getting pregnant by AP's or getting an AP pregnant. Which is probably one of the reasons why modern society supports monogamous marriages in the first place. It's a way to assist children with having two parents who love them equally and are invested in their well being. What happens when you have a man having a bunch of kids with different women that he can't support? Do his OW's go after him for child support thereby taking money from the children within the marriage? Or what about a MW having children with OM as well as with her husband? Does she go after the OM for child support? Will her husband love the children she had with the OM as much as he loves his own children? What if the MW and the MM both have lovers and those lovers also have other lovers? What happens when one contracts a std? If they are not all using extremely safe sex practices then everyone gets it. Fine if its' just chalamydia but not so great if it's AIDS.

 

I imagine people in open marriages talk about all of these possible scenarios at great length and take measures to protect their marriage and their children. Cheaters are a different breed entirely. They lie, they deceive both their spouse and their AP's, the majority don't practice safe sex and they are careless with birth control. They don't mind cheating but despise the idea of being cheated on.

[MissBee]

The thing is, cheaters would screw up an open marriage, one way or another.

 

Open marriages are NOT devoid of fidelity, honesty and honor. In fact, I would say that fidelity, honesty and honor are VITAL to making an open marriage work. As well as strong and open communication.

 

People in open marriage don't have a license to just have sex with whoever they want, whenever they want, however they want. There are rules - set between the couple - regarding the types of extra-marital relationships they have, when and how they select people, discussions, guidelines, etc. And sex with other people is not the same thing as developing a relationship with one other person, either. So there are "definitions" the couple has to create for what is and isn't "ok" for them.

 

Open marriages are not a free for all. They require much honesty and communication in order to work out well. And even then, it's difficult to account for jealousy, which can surprise people even if they think they don't believe in monogamy or jealousy.

 

Cheaters are the last people who are capable of that level of honesty and communication.

 

And I would guess that cheaters do NOT want open marriages. They don't want their spouse having sex with other people.

 

 

Superb post!

 

I concur.

[seren]

To state the obvious, cheating is bad because it means that at least one person in the traingle is lied to and lives a life based upon beliefs they hold dear which is rooted in lies. The person being betrayed doesn't have the opportunity to make an informed choice as to whether they are happy to stay in an shared relationship. Most long term monogamous relationships are interwoved by children, love, shared finances, shared responsibilities etc etc there also exists a shared understanding that the relationship is monogamous, if either cheats, then the other, that is upholding their side of things based on the shared understanding, is living a lie. Why, they might want to go spend the housekeeping money on hotels and dinner and fun, or use time spent at home with the children with someone else. But they don't and that, is why cheating is bad, in it's more practical terms. Of course the heartache, hurt and betrayal are also rooted in the understanding that they are loved, they may love the person back based upon who they think that person is, to find out that the one you love and believe loves you too has been cheating is very painful.

 

Of course people in non monogamous relationships have shared understandings too, a shared understanding of boundaires, what is or is not acceptable. The betrayed person isn't the only one who agrees to, or has discussed these boundaires. The cheater will, at one time, have agreed to them too. Far more honest to discuss when they are no longer happy with the monogamy and want to see others, this then gives the other the opportunity to make an informed choice - do they want to be in an open relationship or not. Not rocket science and little to do with the norms of relationships, but used often to condone cheating, having your cake and eating it is often the basis for cheating. The not wanting to leave a relationship for another because it suits the cheater. I have enormous respect for those who end unhappy marriages to be with the one they want to be with, but don't drag it on for your own purposes.

 

Personally, I have absolutely no problem with people who choose a non monogamus lifestyle, their choice, their lives. The key is choice, cheating takes away choices, robs another of the opportunity to live a life based upon truth and informed choices. Of course A's are hidden, to bring them out into the open takes away the safety net of many a cheater.

I don't understand it, I don't and haven't read any good reasons why a person would think they have the right to decide what another knows about their marriage or relationship. I get meeting someone, I get falling in and out of love, I even get open relationships, as long as everyone involved is able to choose their role. As for BS turning around to the WS and saying go for it and I will too, don't see too many of those, even during his A my H was jealous if other men paid me attention. I don't know, tis all screwed up, IMHO. Leave or go or stay and share, but just be open and honest, not too much to ask for.

[woinlove]

Maybe a better version of my question is, why arent all marriages "open marriages" to begin with?

 

I think they will be in the future. Again, i cant even imagine myself with being ok with that but id love for my child to be able to not feel bad about being cheated on or cheating.

 

On the other hand, id love for people not to cheat. Thats the ideal for me. I would love for all the happy endings to exist. I just cant see them. Of course, im one of the obstacles thats helping cheating to exist..but i think you get the picture.

 

Is it only me?Is it only the cheated on/cheated with that sees things like this?

Are there actually people that have never ever cheated on their life partner?

I think i can name only one couple and i cant tell for sure.

 

I'm in an open M or what Savage calls a monagamish M. I doubt very many cheaters would want to be in an open M. Being in an open M to us, means being completely open and honest about our desires, attractions, romantic and attachments. It means if the other spouse has any hesistancy, we give a pass on any outside interest. It means if the other spouse is ill or needs us, we give a pass on any outside interest. This seems to be almost the opposite of how a cheating spouse behaves. I am amazed at how many affairs start when there is an ill BS, a pregnancy, a death in the family, stress at home. That is exactly when our M closes as we focus on each other.

 

Also, our open M did not start because one of us was interested in a third party. It started with somewhat intellectual discussions, discussions involving what we needed, what values we shared, what was important to us, what our hopes and dreams were for a M lasting till death, and then we made a commitment to each other of an open M. It was several more years still before either of us actually tried out the "open" part of our M.

 

From what I read on LS, MM/MW seem unlikely to go through all that intimacy, discussion, openness with their spouses. Often they seem selfish and immature and not such great communicators on difficult, intimate matters. It is difficult to imagine them in an open M.

 

I don't agree with your assessment that everyone is cheating. But that kind of dishonesty makes them extremely poor candidates for an open M. They would really have to change first. And if they changed into more honest people, they might discover that they really want monogamy. I think a lot of people want monogamy. I'm not one of them, but I think most do.

[woinlove]

The thing is, cheaters would screw up an open marriage, one way or another.

 

Open marriages are NOT devoid of fidelity, honesty and honor. In fact, I would say that fidelity, honesty and honor are VITAL to making an open marriage work. As well as strong and open communication.

 

People in open marriage don't have a license to just have sex with whoever they want, whenever they want, however they want. There are rules - set between the couple - regarding the types of extra-marital relationships they have, when and how they select people, discussions, guidelines, etc. And sex with other people is not the same thing as developing a relationship with one other person, either. So there are "definitions" the couple has to create for what is and isn't "ok" for them.

 

Open marriages are not a free for all. They require much honesty and communication in order to work out well. And even then, it's difficult to account for jealousy, which can surprise people even if they think they don't believe in monogamy or jealousy.

 

Cheaters are the last people who are capable of that level of honesty and communication.

 

And I would guess that cheaters do NOT want open marriages. They don't want their spouse having sex with other people.

 

Just catching up with this thread. I see we posted some similar ideas.

 

Yes, open M typically operate under a lot of agreed upon rules - more so than a closed M where some things may be taken from tradition or assumed, although it is probably best not to assume anything important in any kind of M.

[woinlove]

They should be able to. However, you're talking about "marriage" the government nor (western) society at large, does not sanction it. Thus, there is no EQUAL protection to ALL parties under the law....so until then, it is largely a taboo.

 

 

I agree....but considering the practices and mores of most, if not all western societies, "open marriage" is still not acceptable.

 

I don't think the problem is that cheaters want an open M but feel that an open M is not acceptable and so they cheat. Many cheaters actually want the BS to be faithful. Personally, I feel equally treated by the law and I also doubt that this is what is holding back cheaters from being open and honest.

[Owl]

Even an open M isn't a real solution to the "problem" of cheating.

 

Most open M's are a temporary event most times...very few open M's stay that way for a truly extended period of time.

 

Typically one partner or the other either gets tired of "the life", or grows jealous of the other partner's 'partners'.

 

It's also entirely common for an open marriage to fail when one partner or the other ends up falling in love with one of their other "partners".

 

It's a lot like communism. It's a great concept that seldom works out long term in a real world application.

[Ruby_shoes]

My two cents.

 

We are much about instant gratification. We let tv shows and movies that are about love influence us and see them as some version of how life/love is supposed to be. Even kids are taught from a young age that love is a fairy tale. We aren't given training for long term relationships. We have unrealistic expectations. We have bad role models as our parents. We often fail to see the long term repercussions of certain behaviors clearly because it's human nature to be selfish and want what we want. Lust/love is a very powerful thing and without a strong sense of values/morals it's easy to cross lines when unusual abnormal situations happen and we excuse ourselves.

 

Bang on. The fairytale ends at 'and they got married and lived happily ever after'. We're focused on those goals as a society we forget the important bits, the building blocks of a M. It doesn't end with M, it's a whole new journey! It seems most WS that are remorseful get a wakeup call and can build better things, if they want to. Just because it's common doesn't make it any less of a beast but it is what it is. Colds are common, I don't want to catch one! I've met serial cheaters, my old boss was one, had a string of girls, he was so empty inside. Fun to be at a party with, always had a story for any situation, a real cowboy but it's so sad to realise he had nothing to believe in. Not even his morals. It's OK to eff up, it's how you deal with it that counts though

[Lostinlife4now]

I understand the "heat" of your persistent question, as i am guilty of cheating.

Guilty as i am though, does not exclude me of the process of thinking and sharing thoughts. Despite that, i will answer you question.

 

I will not tell his wife cause i am not a complete as***le. Im just a little bit, obviously for being an OW, but not that much.

 

 

 

My question comes exactly from the fact that i am a cheater and probably will be cheated on, if not by this man from another, if i have not been cheated on already.

 

Bottom line is, can you name a couple that has never ever cheated one another? and has been married for more then 10 years?Seriously, no heat no nothing. I cant:(

 

Touche"!!!!! Love that line!

[woinlove]

Originally Posted by Capris

 

I will not tell his wife cause i am not a complete as***le. Im just a little bit, obviously for being an OW, but not that much.

 

Touche"!!!!! Love that line!

 

I don't understand. Why would telling his wife the truth make you a complete as***le, while having an A with someone else's H doesn't?

 

I once told a good friend her H was cheating on her, and she was grateful because it ended a year-long A, led them to rebuild their M, and they are still together 20 years later. Do you think that makes me a complete as***le?

 

I don't quite see what either of you think is the particularly as***le part. I know people have different ideas about telling, but I haven't heard the suggestion that those who tell are complete as***les, while those who have affairs aren't. By telling my friend, do you think I was behaving worse than her WS or the OW involved? How so?

[Capris]

I don't understand. Why would telling his wife the truth make you a complete as***le, while having an A with someone else's H doesn't?

 

Well fisrt off, i said i was a little as**hole by just being the OW. You do have a point though on whats the difference by telling. Made me think. Thanks.

 

My point to the whole thread though is how i see cheating people everywhere.

For example, a guy was just talking to me saying how he is looking for women apart from his wife. The other night i was talking with some other guys and one of them was an OM....Its everywhere. Seriously. Women too, they just tend to hide it more. Men, geez they think its a "must-do-to-be-cool"....

 

So my point is, forget im posting as an OW, i see tons of people cheating, so i assume its something people want to do yet, we have made it bad. Maybe we're wrong.

 

To be honest i find it right not to cheat, but as i see things, it will take decades till all this cheating will stop if it ever will and i mean of course the majority of people.

 

Oh lord, its awful...

 

Still cant believe it seriously..

[bentnotbroken]

Well fisrt off, i said i was a little as**hole by just being the OW. You do have a point though on whats the difference by telling. Made me think. Thanks.

 

My point to the whole thread though is how i see cheating people everywhere.

For example, a guy was just talking to me saying how he is looking for women apart from his wife. The other night i was talking with some other guys and one of them was an OM....Its everywhere. Seriously. Women too, they just tend to hide it more. Men, geez they think its a "must-do-to-be-cool"....

 

So my point is, forget im posting as an OW, i see tons of people cheating, so i assume its something people want to do yet, we have made it bad. Maybe we're wrong.

 

To be honest i find it right not to cheat, but as i see things, it will take decades till all this cheating will stop if it ever will and i mean of course the majority of people.

 

Oh lord, its awful...

 

Still cant believe it seriously..

 

Yes, he possibly does think it is awful.

[Capris]

Yes, he possibly does think it is awful.

 

Sometimes i wish forums had a "like" button

[norajane]

My point to the whole thread though is how i see cheating people everywhere.

For example, a guy was just talking to me saying how he is looking for women apart from his wife. The other night i was talking with some other guys and one of them was an OM....Its everywhere. Seriously. Women too, they just tend to hide it more. Men, geez they think its a "must-do-to-be-cool"....

 

So...first, stop being part of the problem yourself. Stop contributing to the problem.

 

Next, find somewhere else to hang out or live or work because the people you are meeting are...selfish...and know very little about love.

 

Cheating is not a loving action, and if cheaters say they are seeking love, they are, at best, clueless on what love is. Love resides within us, and it is something we give to others. Love is not about taking and getting away with sh*t. Loving someone is an action, and requires loving actions, giving love. Cheating is all about taking.