Why is cheating bad?

[Capris]

@norajane You are right, i will try to stop contributing to the problem.

 

Lets say im not an OW anymore. The people im reffereing to are not only my friends. My job's nature is to talk to all sorts of people, so its not that i hang out with the wrong people, seriously , i see it everywhere, because it IS everywhere! I really thought i was a minority and seeing that im not, makes me feel even worse! I didnt realise how many people cheat!

Again, im not saying this to make me feel better, seriously, assume im not an OW, no difference, people are cheating so much its insane! Its like a default.

 

So once again, my "question" is why assume something that most people do as wrong, when the facts show thats its in human nature? Im afraid cant find the words to decscribe what i want to say exactly. Bad example, but its like we wake up one day and ban food. Wouldnt that be weird?

 

I seriously doubt that human beings are monogamous. Maybe thats a phrase more understandable.

[Woggle]

Most people these days have no clue or concept on how to make a healthy and faithful relationship work but I always considered myself a non-conformist. Those of us who are faithful to our spouses and committed to having a loving and happy relationship are the new radicals if you ask me.

 

Just because most people cheat does not mean I have to or I have to be a part of it.

[Capris]

Just rumbling...

 

The guy i was talking to earlier today that mentioned he was looking for other women....It was the first time i have spoken to him, i told him "im just sorry about your wife" he was like, "yeah but ya know, we're young, we're cool, ive found out some situations about her that were not pleasant" etc...

 

First, im sure that the "situations" he found out about werent even close to cheating, although i wish they were for her sake.

Second he told me the clise..."its different between men and women"...so i said "Bull**t, thats total bull**t...its exactly the same, thats just an excuse"....

 

So i still believe that the root of the problem is that most men throughout history, were raised with as much freedom as they wanted. Women, were not. Im really glad that the young people i talk to, think differently, that means progress. Girls these days can sleep with a guy without being emotional attached. Hows that good? you may ask...well its good cause by doing that, they start to be the same threat to men as men were to women, which means they get closer to the freedom that was provided to men all these years, which eventually will grow to equality and some day there will be no clises like the one i mentioned before. After that, people will FINALLY understand that men and women want EXACTLY the same thing...Love and respect.

 

Maybe its just a matter of time. Time i may not live to, but at least it will happen.

 

end of rumbling...

[Capris]

Most people these days have no clue or concept on how to make a healthy and faithful relationship work but I always considered myself a non-conformist. Those of us who are faithful to our spouses and committed to having a loving and happy relationship are the new radicals if you ask me.

 

Just because most people cheat does not mean I have to or I have to be a part of it.

 

So true...Maybe its as another poster mentioned...We were grown up with all the movies and stories and all the "happy ends"...noone taught us how to deal with a real realtionship. Although i have to note that i have heard older women saying " you just have to put up with it" when reffereing to cheating..........Of course that was like a theory from deacades ago..

[woinlove]

@norajane You are right, i will try to stop contributing to the problem.

 

Lets say im not an OW anymore. The people im reffereing to are not only my friends. My job's nature is to talk to all sorts of people, so its not that i hang out with the wrong people, seriously , i see it everywhere, because it IS everywhere! I really thought i was a minority and seeing that im not, makes me feel even worse! I didnt realise how many people cheat!

Again, im not saying this to make me feel better, seriously, assume im not an OW, no difference, people are cheating so much its insane! Its like a default.

 

So once again, my "question" is why assume something that most people do as wrong, when the facts show thats its in human nature? Im afraid cant find the words to decscribe what i want to say exactly. Bad example, but its like we wake up one day and ban food. Wouldnt that be weird?

 

I seriously doubt that human beings are monogamous. Maybe thats a phrase more understandable.

 

I move in different circles, and am not exposed to much cheating. A lot of people I am around are openminded about any kind of consensual sex between adults, but they don't like dishonesty and deception. So, I don't have your perception that cheating is so common. The stats I've seen suggest that there may be around 50% who have never cheated, and among the 50% who have cheated, many have only cheated once for maybe an average of a year or two - which means most people are not cheating most of the time.

 

But, whatever the rate of cheating is -- I'm not sure what saying something is bad has to do with how many people do it. Apparently even more people cheat on their taxes than on their spouses. But the whole tax system would break down - and we'd be unable to fund common infrastructure, social programs, security, etc., if we just said, well people cheat on taxes so let's not bother prosecuting anyone for it - we'll just overlook it, as it is "human nature" to be selfish or greedy. Lots of bad things are not uncommon, unfortunately.

 

People view cheating as wrong because it is dishonest and disloyal - viciously unkind, if you like. Even if many people are cheating, it does not seem to lesson the pain of the betrayed.

 

Don't see the connection to food. You seem to be looking at how many people do something, rather than what they are actually doing and asking if that is good, kind, productive, loving,... behavior or if it is bad, unkind, selfish, harmful,... behavior.

[alexandria35]

Just rumbling...

 

The guy i was talking to earlier today that mentioned he was looking for other women....It was the first time i have spoken to him, i told him "im just sorry about your wife" he was like, "yeah but ya know, we're young, we're cool, ive found out some situations about her that were not pleasant" etc...

 

First, im sure that the "situations" he found out about werent even close to cheating, although i wish they were for her sake.

Second he told me the clise..."its different between men and women"...so i said "Bull**t, thats total bull**t...its exactly the same, thats just an excuse"....

 

So i still believe that the root of the problem is that most men throughout history, were raised with as much freedom as they wanted. Women, were not. Im really glad that the young people i talk to, think differently, that means progress. Girls these days can sleep with a guy without being emotional attached. Hows that good? you may ask...well its good cause by doing that, they start to be the same threat to men as men were to women, which means they get closer to the freedom that was provided to men all these years, which eventually will grow to equality and some day there will be no clises like the one i mentioned before. After that, people will FINALLY understand that men and women want EXACTLY the same thing...Love and respect.

 

Maybe its just a matter of time. Time i may not live to, but at least it will happen.

 

end of rumbling...

 

Okay most people do not cheat. I think you are blowing things way out of whack. Reminds me of a male friend I have who always insist that all married women are easy sluts looking to cheat on their husbands. His reasoning for this is that...well he's awfully cute and married women brazenly hit on him all the time. Says he can go into any bar any night of the week and leave with a married woman if thats what he wanted to do, so to him this means that most married women cheat on their husbands. But his logic is flawed. First of all most married women aren't hanging out in bars in the middle of the week. Some married women are but not most. Secondly when he goes into a bar he may get hit on by a couple of married women, but again that is not most married women. There may be thirty married women in the bar, so if two of them hit on him that is still a far cry from most. His job leads him to interacting with many women and many of them married. When he get hit on a couple of times a week he get this feeling that the majority of women cheat but when I question him as to how many married women he interacted with that week that didn't hit on him it soon becomes clear that the majority did not.

 

Secondly the above that I quoted from you really makes me scratch my head. So you were talking to a guy today for the first time and you told him you were sorry about his wife? WTF?? Why is a guy telling you his problems with his wife during your very first conversation with him? Do you work for a cheaters dating service or something? If not then it is way out of line for you to be having that kind of conversation with a married man. If these are the weak boundaries you practice then it's no surprise to me that married men who are cheaters are attracted to you. If there is a woman in crowd who might be open to an inappropriate relationship with a married man, the married guys interested in cheating will flock to her.