To skype sex or not to skype sex that's the question?

[almondeyes101]

This one has me cracking up it's so freaking unbelievable...

 

So I asked my LD b/f if he was in the mood for some skype sex... He said, Yes, but not right now he is busy playing a game...

 

BTW this is our first conversation in 3 weeks... WTF:confused:

 

At this point I am not sure which one I am most upset about...He is playing a game so we can't engage in skype sex or we have not talked in 3 weeks and he is busy playing a game:confused:

 

Me vs game it looks like both times I lost!

 

My question is: Who does that?

 

Comments, questions, stories all are welcomed, I can't be the first person to have this experience someone please share!

 

[FrustrationSetsIn]

Is there some correlation for not talking for 3 weeks and him wanting to play a game instead of Skype sex?

 

Just saying that 3 weeks is a long time to not talk to someone you're dating, unless they were stuck in a box, on the moon, on the run from the law, on an extended vacation in the middle of nowhere with no form of working technology. Three weeks of no talking I'd rather talk to catch up and then have the skype sex. Unless of course I was upset at whatever the reason was for not talking for 3 weeks.

Edited October 27, 2011 by FrustrationSetsIn

[chphan]

Skype sex?

 

Err what is skype sex? >.> How do you have skype sex? lol

[Art_Critic]

My question is: Who does that?

 

Your BF..

 

1st conversation in 3 weeks and he blows off your invitation for skype sex to continue playing a game...

Are you sure he is your BF and not someone else's ?

Maybe you should learn how to play the game he is playing.. it seems some other girl has

 

To me.. it is all about priorities.. he just showed you that you are of no priority in his life...

 

Take it as you will.. but if it were me I'd be re-thinking the relationship and if it was really how it looks I'd be dumping him..

[Feelin Frisky]

He probably shouldn't have said why he wants to wait but on the same token after three weeks you should probably not expect him to snap to it and make with the Skype sex on your cue. These are the little things that make life a mine field.

[creighton0123]

He probably shouldn't have said why he wants to wait but on the same token after three weeks you should probably not expect him to snap to it and make with the Skype sex on your cue. These are the little things that make life a mine field.

 

<-- This

 

Physical sex is one thing, but cyber sex over video chat is entirely different. You don't know when the last time he masturbated was. You don't know if he is interested in pleasing himself.

 

He may have blown you off for a game, but not necessarily because of the game.

 

LDR's require patience, particularly when it comes to unplanned communication. Sometimes you're going to want it, sometimes he's going to want it. The trick is to want it both at the same time. That's the honest truth for local relationships or long distance relationships.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Your boyfriend is like a job:

 

 

Take three weeks off, and then quit...

[almondeyes101]

Okay I visited him for one month in summer since I got back, our relationship is lacking communication a key element that I think holds LDR's together...

 

I asked him about the lack of communication several times and he didn't have an answer...

 

Suggesting skype sex after three weeks of no communication was a frustrated response to that problem and even if he did want to have skype sex at least there would have been some level of interest... So I am not sure should I've suggested we talk and got shut down like I have been in the last 2 months?

 

I am not saying he should drop what he was doing but, WTF dude it has been three weeks! Say something other than ' Yes, but not right now I am busy playing a game...

Edited October 28, 2011 by almondeyes101
highlighting my thoughts

[almondeyes101]

Skype sex?

 

Err what is skype sex? >.> How do you have skype sex? lol

 

 

lol:lmao:

 

 

Ahmmm... I don't think there is just one clear cut way to do it, just like regular sex... it just something you will have to experiment with to get a clearer idea of what it is!

 

Have fun trying

[almondeyes101]

Your BF..

 

I know right!... Such an Ahole thing to do!

 

I am thinking about the relationship but I am so pissed right now and I think I need to clear my head and make a rational decision, not an angry one you know!

 

[FrustrationSetsIn]

Okay I visited him for one month in summer since I got back, our relationship is lacking communication a key element that I think holds LDR's together...

 

I asked him about the lack of communication several times and he didn't have an answer...

 

Suggesting skype sex after three weeks of no communication was a frustrated response to that problem and even if he did want to have skype sex at least there would have been some level of interest... So I am not sure should I've suggested we talk and got shut down like I have been in the last 2 months?

 

I am not saying he should drop what he was doing but, WTF dude it has been three weeks! Say something other than ' Yes, but not right now I am busy playing a game...

 

I think therein lies your problem. Lack of communication seems to be going on quite a few levels here.

 

No amount of skype sex you have is going to fix the lack of communication, and sure it may raise his interest in you some, but is that what you really want to use as the only avenue to get him to pay attention to you?

[almondeyes101]

LDR's require patience,

 

 

I agree but, it has been 2months of close to non existent communication from him (this is not counting the last 3weeks of no communication) when it comes to patience in this relationship I am freaking 'Buddha'

 

So he didn't want to have Skype sex...Cool! After 3 weeks, nothing has happened in his life that he wanted to share? I understand what you are saying about patiences but when did communication become so low on the relationship totem pole?

 

[almondeyes101]

I think therein lies your problem. Lack of communication seems to be going on quite a few levels here.

 

No amount of skype sex you have is going to fix the lack of communication, and sure it may raise his interest in you some, but is that what you really want to use as the only avenue to get him to pay attention to you?

 

I want him to communicate... It was not my intent to 'fix' the problem with skype sex, I was frustrated and I wanted him to communicate...

 

Question though (now that I have thought about it:)); Is it not true that sex is a form of communication? I think sex is a way of communicating a desire to be close, loving and connected. I think the pleasure one feels after sex can lead to improved communication, clearly it's not the only way or the best way but it is a lot of fun... don't you think!

 

[FrustrationSetsIn]

I want him to communicate... It was not my intent to 'fix' the problem with skype sex, I was frustrated and I wanted him to communicate...

 

Question though (now that I have thought about it:)); Is it not true that sex is a form of communication? I think sex is a way of communicating a desire to be close, loving and connected. I think the pleasure one feels after sex can lead to improved communication, clearly it's not the only way or the best way but it is a lot of fun... don't you think!

 

 

Good question, and in a way I guess that yes it is.

 

But I have a better question for you though, as a form of communication, has it worked for you yet?

 

You don't even have to answer it out loud. Just something for you to think about.

[almondeyes101]

has it worked for you yet?

You don't even have to answer it out loud. Just something for you to think about.

 

To answer your question 'out loud' Yes it has, in this relationship and in past relationships that were not LDR. That is to say it has created a lighter mood and put us in a place where we could have had a discussion that resolves rather than an argument that got us nowhere!

 

Again I am not saying it's ideal, but I will be willing to try it even if it only has a slight chance of a positive outcome! Only then can I cross it off as something I've tried to make the relationship work!

 

I am angry or should I say I was angry... (because chatting about it has helped...) that he didn't take that chance to make our relationship better, to communicate, and it's sad because it has me considering what to do with this 2year relationship and this person that I love!

 

I don't know what to do but as you said there is no communication on any level right now...

 

[FrustrationSetsIn]

To answer your question 'out loud' Yes it has, in this relationship and in past relationships that were not LDR. That is to say it has created a lighter mood and put us in a place where we could have had a discussion that resolves rather than an argument that got us nowhere!

 

I don't know what to do but as you said there is no communication on any level right now...

 

 

Well I'm glad it worked for you at times, but even though it's a form of communication it seems like it's like putting duct tape on a life raft. Eventually the water is going to corrode the tape and the raft is going to lose air no matter what you do.

 

As for there not being communication on any level, what you've said earlier about asking him and not having an answer. I can say from experience being on both sides of that question and not hearing or being able to give an answer isn't usually a good thing.

 

So talk to him and do what you have to do. In the end, you gotta do what's right for you. If he wants to continue things as they are, I'd suggest getting a goldfish, you'll get the same effect but it'll be less stress hehe

[almondeyes101]

 

As for there not being communication on any level, what you've said earlier about asking him and not having an answer. I can say from experience being on both sides of that question and not hearing or being able to give an answer isn't usually a good thing.

 

 

Help me understand how the mind of a guy works...lol or just tell me why were you not able to give an answer? What is your experience?

 

[FrustrationSetsIn]

Help me understand how the mind of a guy works...lol or just tell me why were you not able to give an answer? What is your experience?

 

 

I can't tell you how every guy's mind works, but I can tell you how my mind works.

 

Usually if someone doesn't have an answer for something, there usually is no answer. It's just the way things are. When I was asked once by a girl why we lost our communication or it why it was dwindling, I told her that I didn't know it just was. It wasn't my fault nor was it hers, thats just the way things seemed to be going and the way things sometimes are. Sure I made the effort as did she, but in the end I kept hearing that same question.

 

So chances are is if you have to ask or be asked something three times because there hasn't been a solution, chances are there probably never will be.

[almondeyes101]

Usually if someone doesn't have an answer for something, there usually is no answer. It's just the way things are.

 

So chances are is if you have to ask or be asked something three times because there hasn't been a solution, chances are there probably never will be.

 

Wow... it all sound so final!

Is there no middle ground? Is it basically '**** or get off the pot'?

 

[FrustrationSetsIn]

Wow... it all sound so final!

Is there no middle ground? Is it basically '**** or get off the pot'?

 

 

Sorry, I'm not trying to ruin your hope.

 

But in my experience if there is no solution for an ongoing problem, there may never be. Especially if it's in regards to communication. Because if you can't communicate about it, you're basically banging your head into a brick wall over and over again.

 

So make him talk to you about why he feels there may be no communication. If he can't find any answer, give him your thoughts. If that doesn't work, I really don't think there will be a magic solution to fix it.

[HeavenOrHell]

I understand your frustrations and I would have felt the same as you. I would hope that after 3 weeks of no communication there would at least some sexy talk even even if we didn't actually have skype or phone sex.

I'd say sex is a form of bonding or expressing your feelings for each other, rather than communicating as such, that usually requires lots of talking

 

I find it hard to bring up problems in my r/ship, but I've got better at it, and so far it has always helped, communication is crucial in an LDR.

 

 

 

I want him to communicate... It was not my intent to 'fix' the problem with skype sex, I was frustrated and I wanted him to communicate...

 

Question though (now that I have thought about it:)); Is it not true that sex is a form of communication? I think sex is a way of communicating a desire to be close, loving and connected. I think the pleasure one feels after sex can lead to improved communication, clearly it's not the only way or the best way but it is a lot of fun... don't you think!