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Will anyone ever love me???


flower_petal

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I went through a devastating messy break up just over a year ago. The man is also the father to my child so I have to see him regularly.

I've never had a relationship since splitting up (I'm very picky!). There has been quite a bit of interest in me but I've hardly fancied any of them. About 4 months after splitting up I started speaking to a guy I'd known for years who hadn't been able to tell me he liked me because my relationship. He seemed besotted with me and then, out of nowhere, told me he no longer wanted a relationship because I had a child :rolleyes:

Next was a friend of a friend. He texted me a few times and I quite liked him! He lived quite a way away but was adamant he'd come to visit. This went on for months, texting/calling everyday and then he seemed to trail off. Before I knew it we were no longer talking.

The last guy is the one that has really caused all my upset. I had known him a while and liked him a lot but HE was the one in the relationship. When word got back that I quite fancied him he admitted he liked me too. His relationship had been in trouble a while so I stayed in the wings and never did anything about it. He called me up out of the blue to say his relationship was over. In the weeks that followed we started to see each other, dating/kissing/spending evenings in together, proper relationship stuff. Obviously because he had come out of a long relationship, we kept things 'casual' but I really started to fall for him and he said the same about me. Everyone said how obsessive he was about me and how wonderful we were together. Suddenly, I start getting vibes off him that he's backing off and, out of nowhere, I get the "things are moving too fast" chat. He told me he wanted to 'just have fun together'. I said this was fine but things would never get intimate if we're 'just friends'. He said that was fine and he really liked me. Then all of a sudden it's been over a month and I've heard nothing from him.

To top it off, my ex made comments about me in a suggestive sense. I got the impression he wanted to spend time with me again with a view to 'getting back together'. I suppose I got my hopes up a little. After a chat last night he categorically said no, he does not want to get back together.

I just feel a bit lost and low. I miss having someone and find it so hard to get close to people. To fancy someone is a bit rare for me as I am critical of myself and therefore usually hyper-critical of other people (wrong, I know). People are constantly saying "he was no good for you, you are so much better than him". If this is the case then why didn't he thank his lucky stars to have someone like me?? Why mess me around? I can't understand why NOTHING works out! I can't even look forward to meeting someone because I know how it will end. I just feel like I repel people and I'll never be loved again :(

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Aww bless ya. I'm not in the position to be having relationships yet, I'm still not over my split, but the thought of putting myself on the market is both scary and exciting. There's no rush. Your ideal partner will come along :) in the mean time, don't try to force it, hang out with friends and enjoy life x

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