despicableME Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Ahhh... the workplace affair... many of us can relate. How long did this last, by the way. It might take longer given the duration of the affair itself. What I'm saying is, the longer you were in it; the longer it takes. Short term affairs are easier to get over... at least that's my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 So here are my questions: How do I get over this? I can't get this woman out of my mind. What's more, I can' even grieve properly. My wife sees that I'm depressed and wants to help, but I can't tell her why. Is rekindling a desire for my wife possible a this stage? She has remained a loving wife and is willing to change/work to save the marriage (she found some incriminating emails but doesn't know that the affair was physical). My wife has done nothing wrong, but I have an incredible connection with this other woman that I just don't have with the wife. Is it better if I just leave the marriage, even though the other woman has made it clear that she will not leave her husband? My wife and I do have a 3-year-old child. And yes, I realize what a total ***hole I'm being to my wife in all of this. Nothing makes the reality of something so stark as writing it down like this. 1- it takes time, a lot of time, and if it is real love then you may never really get over her. You don't have a choice though as she has chosen to remain in her marriage. I totally understand why you do not tell her, and there is a good possibility that is not time anyway. We don't have to lay our lives open before man, just God IMO. If she is meant to know, it will happen. 2- yes, and I say this because you sound like you care for her deeply. You loved her enough to marry her and in my opinion, men do not just marry because they have nothing better to do. I really question your statement that your wife has done nothing wrong. I am not blaming the affair on her, although no marriage is perfect and something in your marriage could have contributed to the reasons why you had the affair. 3- based on what you have said, I believe the marriage is worth saving, although this is your call...she is willing and if you are not willing to give 100+ %, I would consider the alternative. I would advise to look at your marriage for what is. I would suggest that you also write down how you feel about your marriage and your relationship with your wife...the possitives and negatives...take away the guilt feelings and express what is wrong with the marriage objectively...you might be a little less hard on yourself if you can look at things in this way:) Link to post Share on other sites
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