Indira1987 Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 how long does it take until I'll stop missing him? It's been 1,5 years now since the break-up! no progress of getting over it! except for that I force myself not to think about his words anymore. Although still so many things he said are like burned in my brain. Maybe it is because we spoke english and it is not my first language. I don't know. I don't miss him physically really, never did, only all of these things he said i miss so much!! at least no nightmares anymore. but sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and have such a strange feeling, it's a mix of the feeling I miss him only since "yesterday" and then the picture of him and his new girlfriend and a then the worst feeling: it feels like unconsciousness and comes from the conviction that he really doesn't love me at all but her. yeah i know it sounds silly but only a few weeks ago I finally became convinced of that. I always had the hope... now i think i wouldn't have survived this whole thing without that hope. whhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa is that normal? do you also feel like that? has it also been to long for you? I want someone new...even if it won't work out. I don't wanna think about HIM anymore. Even if I'll miss someone else than, I DONT WANNA THINK ABOUT him ANYMORE....i'm so sick of it! I just don't meet anyone new, cause my aura is so negative. also I'm a bit distant to people, have always been, but now even more.. but aaaaaaaaa it's like a vicious circle...:-( not even my friends want to be around me anymore i think.(I'm not in my hometown now though; but they don't try to contact me) i feel so lonely; I'd go back, but I know I'd feel lonely there as well. how can i get out of it?? i try all the time.... really! studying, going to the gym, going to a music school, trying to think positive, eat healthy, try to make friends,... all of that kind of **** everybody tells you. BUT AAAAAA it doesnt workkkkk Link to post Share on other sites
Rarinbug Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 Hey, I wish I could help and give you that magic answer that will help you move on, I wish I knew so I could help myself too. I split with my ex in August 2009 and I have only seen her once since, I still think about her constantly, drives me mad! I just wanted to say you aren't alone and it has got easier for me. Take care and remember things will get better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Indira1987 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 it's always good to hear that your not alone... so why do you think it takes so long for us? does it have to do with our characters, people who surround us, etc? or did we just love our exes more than other people? have you met someone else who you liked since then? I havent really. I had a "something" with a friend, and it was a little bit about feelings as well, and then I sometimes thought about this friend but also about my ex. I think that someone didn't really blow me away (don't know if that is the right translation) , so I think if we'd meet someone who fascinates us, we would feel better maybe....!? Link to post Share on other sites
sedgwick Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 My ex dumped me in July 2007. 3.5 years NC now, and I'm still heartbroken. Can't even imagine dating. I truly think at this point that he's the only one I'll ever love, and have resigned myself to just being lonely forever. I often pretend he's still here, and talk to him out loud. Every night before I fall asleep, I tell him I love him. Pretending is all I have. Link to post Share on other sites
Newflor32 Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Ive thought telling myself he is dead to get thinking about him. It probably wont help but im going to try it. Its been 3 yrs now and im still hurt. I dont miss him so much as the hurt from the things he said and did. Sometimes i wonder how i ever came to this point when i see people with real problems like sickness, etc. We need to reprogram our minds. Link to post Share on other sites
Rarinbug Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Indira, I think you're right when you say it's about how much we loved our ex's. No matter what happens, I will always know I had some amazing times with my ex. She's an intelligent, beautiful and very funny person, to use your words, she blew me away! I too had a brief fling where I thought there were feelings but my ex always crept into my mind. I am convinced it's about the person. I don't believe in "the one" there are 7 billion of us now, I'm sure there are many women I could have the same feelings for. I think for us Indira it is a case of accepting that our ex's have gone and beginning that search to find someone who blows us away again. Just a matter of time.... Link to post Share on other sites
jyoun Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Maybe it would be easier if you believed your ex did something aweful to you, like cheated or abused you... I know that's what my ex did with me and she said it helped her to get angry with me so the sadness would be less overpowering. Sounds crazy, perhaps... but you may not believe you deserve true love, or something "better" then your ex. That's not true IMO. Everyone deserves to be happy and fulfilled. You may need to choose to believe something to help you through this time. For some that kinda stuff helps. If you are like me though, you know the truth hurts but there is nothing you can do about it. You have to accept it and move on. There is cognative behaviour therey that will help you control your thoughts, obsessions, etc... I'd recommend that over any sort of denial. You can train your brain to overcome certain thoughts and emotions. It takes allot of patience and practice, but I've been through a program myself and can say for sure it helps. But probably not so much if you don't believe in it or take it seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts