how do you get over someone in a hurry?

[gina]

i am a 43 year old woman, i've been through several relationships, some abusive, some alcoholic, some boring.

 

my problem is ive been with this guy for over two years now and at first he was the sweetest thing to me.

 

lately the last year or so, he has changed jobs and has become so intolerant of me to the point that he yells at me when i try to talk to him, or ask him questions or get too personal.

 

we have been living together for almost two years as well. and in the beginning he was so sweet and so nice, kind and patient.

 

i know he'll never change his job now, he makes alot of good money, but where doest that leave me?

 

i want to leave him because i can't tolerate this uncertainity anymore. i never know when he will explode at me, and when he does i always feel guilty and keep trying harder and harder to change, to be good, to be different, patient kind and loving towards him, but it seems so useless.

 

the thing is i still love him so very much, and i think of leaving him almost the minute my eyes are open and all through the day. i guess in a way i've already left him in my mind, but my heart wont let go.

 

of course he still lives with me and he has no clue that i want to split up. he thinks alot of things are my fault, cause i push him to know what is going on with his life, so i try not to push him, but still i feel i can't win.j

 

when i think of never being with him again, it kills me inside, also to think of someone else being with him, makes me sick, but when i think what an ass he can be, then i don't care. but i know he isn't really like that, he just stresses too much.

 

well come to think of it, he is rather an ass at other times too, but how can you forget someone and give up on them? how do you know when to give up? my heart is breaking just writing this.

 

i love the way he is with me when things are calm and he is in a good mood, he holds me, kisses me and tells me how much he loves me, he compliments me always, and laughs with me, then BOOM! he is an ass again! men, go figure.....

[Jenna]

The only way to get over a love interest in a hurry is if you never loved them in the first place. You are wanting to skip the pain of separation- and guess what- it can't be done. (although- if you figure out how- I SURE would like to know your recipe)

 

You shouldn't hold on because you don't want him to be with anyone else- that is very selfish on your part.

 

Maybe you should try to figure out why you have a pattern of these unsuccessful relationships- and try to stop falling for the wrong guys. What is it that attracts you to them- and makes you unable to recognize that they aren't capable of a stable relationship? It doesn't take long- after meeting someone for their true colors to show- at which point you need to cut your loses and move on- learning from the experience so you don't repeat it the next time.

 

Now that you have recognized that this man is not your dream guy- do what you know needs to be done- you are just wasting your own time- and who knows how much more of it you'll have.

 

Good Luck, Jenna

i am a 43 year old woman, i've been through several relationships, some abusive, some alcoholic, some boring. my problem is ive been with this guy for over two years now and at first he was the sweetest thing to me. lately the last year or so, he has changed jobs and has become so intolerant of me to the point that he yells at me when i try to talk to him, or ask him questions or get too personal.

 

we have been living together for almost two years as well. and in the beginning he was so sweet and so nice, kind and patient. i know he'll never change his job now, he makes alot of good money, but where doest that leave me? i want to leave him because i can't tolerate this uncertainity anymore. i never know when he will explode at me, and when he does i always feel guilty and keep trying harder and harder to change, to be good, to be different, patient kind and loving towards him, but it seems so useless.

 

the thing is i still love him so very much, and i think of leaving him almost the minute my eyes are open and all through the day. i guess in a way i've already left him in my mind, but my heart wont let go. of course he still lives with me and he has no clue that i want to split up. he thinks alot of things are my fault, cause i push him to know what is going on with his life, so i try not to push him, but still i feel i can't win.j when i think of never being with him again, it kills me inside, also to think of someone else being with him, makes me sick, but when i think what an ass he can be, then i don't care. but i know he isn't really like that, he just stresses too much. well come to think of it, he is rather an ass at other times too, but how can you forget someone and give up on them? how do you know when to give up? my heart is breaking just writing this. i love the way he is with me when things are calm and he is in a good mood, he holds me, kisses me and tells me how much he loves me, he compliments me always, and laughs with me, then BOOM! he is an ass again! men, go figure.....

[billy the kid]

I have a question or two for ya,ok? if you stay with this guy what are you going to have in 12 or 18 months from now? still the same situation?/// and if you leave him what are you going to have? sorry to be so blunt but you have to ask these questions and only you have the answers..

i am a 43 year old woman, i've been through several relationships, some abusive, some alcoholic, some boring. my problem is ive been with this guy for over two years now and at first he was the sweetest thing to me. lately the last year or so, he has changed jobs and has become so intolerant of me to the point that he yells at me when i try to talk to him, or ask him questions or get too personal.

 

we have been living together for almost two years as well. and in the beginning he was so sweet and so nice, kind and patient. i know he'll never change his job now, he makes alot of good money, but where doest that leave me? i want to leave him because i can't tolerate this uncertainity anymore. i never know when he will explode at me, and when he does i always feel guilty and keep trying harder and harder to change, to be good, to be different, patient kind and loving towards him, but it seems so useless.

 

the thing is i still love him so very much, and i think of leaving him almost the minute my eyes are open and all through the day. i guess in a way i've already left him in my mind, but my heart wont let go. of course he still lives with me and he has no clue that i want to split up. he thinks alot of things are my fault, cause i push him to know what is going on with his life, so i try not to push him, but still i feel i can't win.j when i think of never being with him again, it kills me inside, also to think of someone else being with him, makes me sick, but when i think what an ass he can be, then i don't care. but i know he isn't really like that, he just stresses too much. well come to think of it, he is rather an ass at other times too, but how can you forget someone and give up on them? how do you know when to give up? my heart is breaking just writing this. i love the way he is with me when things are calm and he is in a good mood, he holds me, kisses me and tells me how much he loves me, he compliments me always, and laughs with me, then BOOM! he is an ass again! men, go figure.....

[Deejette]

It is hard to leave even an abusive situation, after you have gotten used to that person being there. It is like a death somehow, when you know that person will not be in your life any more. And as with death, there is no short-cut to getting over it. You have to go through the stages of mourning.

 

I am going through them right now, but I am still glad that I broke it off with my perpetual-victim boyfriend who was taking me down with him in his chaotic swirl. I miss him even now, but am happy too to be free from him. Hooking up with him would have made my life a disaster of unhappiness, much worse than the sadness I feel towards the breakup.

i am a 43 year old woman, i've been through several relationships, some abusive, some alcoholic, some boring. my problem is ive been with this guy for over two years now and at first he was the sweetest thing to me. lately the last year or so, he has changed jobs and has become so intolerant of me to the point that he yells at me when i try to talk to him, or ask him questions or get too personal.

 

we have been living together for almost two years as well. and in the beginning he was so sweet and so nice, kind and patient. i know he'll never change his job now, he makes alot of good money, but where doest that leave me? i want to leave him because i can't tolerate this uncertainity anymore. i never know when he will explode at me, and when he does i always feel guilty and keep trying harder and harder to change, to be good, to be different, patient kind and loving towards him, but it seems so useless.

 

the thing is i still love him so very much, and i think of leaving him almost the minute my eyes are open and all through the day. i guess in a way i've already left him in my mind, but my heart wont let go. of course he still lives with me and he has no clue that i want to split up. he thinks alot of things are my fault, cause i push him to know what is going on with his life, so i try not to push him, but still i feel i can't win.j when i think of never being with him again, it kills me inside, also to think of someone else being with him, makes me sick, but when i think what an ass he can be, then i don't care. but i know he isn't really like that, he just stresses too much. well come to think of it, he is rather an ass at other times too, but how can you forget someone and give up on them? how do you know when to give up? my heart is breaking just writing this. i love the way he is with me when things are calm and he is in a good mood, he holds me, kisses me and tells me how much he loves me, he compliments me always, and laughs with me, then BOOM! he is an ass again! men, go figure.....