Miss lil Amie Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 Hi everyone! I'm new to the forums! I decided to join these forums so I could have a place where I could come and talk about things I can't talk with the people around me! It's just lately things have gotten so crazy and I just feel like being alone! I refuse to particpate in anything that involves people now-a-daus, I'm not even going to my own graduation ceremony, I didn't go to prom..I didn't do any of that stuff this year..or the years before..now I'm afraid in the future that this will be something I regret..but I still have no intentions of doing any of that stuff if I had another change This year was my senior year..you know, everyone always says that your senior year is the best, but mine was one of the worst years of my life! It seems like a lot of people have been noticing how I'm always angry! About 3 months ago I tried to commit suicide. After that I occasionally just cut my wrist when I'd get upset. I haven't done it in a while..but I have had serious urges to. I feel like everything in my life is changing..like I have no control of anything..like theres no me! I've lost interest in a lot of things that used to interest me. What I wish I knew was why? Why do I feel this way and why do I get angry about nothing. I know nobody can answer that question except for me but I don't know why. It's really hard explaining how I feel..I just can't find the right words to explain everything! Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 Your lifestyle has changed a lot. You tried to kill yourself. You are getting no enjoyment out of events. These are signs of depression. Were you not asked to see a physician and/or counsellor after trying to commit suicide? There is tons of help out there for people in your situation. All you need to do is reach out and get it. Make an appointment with your doctor or school counsellor ASAP and tell that person exactly what you wrote here. Link to post Share on other sites
skellis Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 Hey, first of all, these feelings you are having, they are not going to last forever!! Time moves us forward. Also, you have the power to make your life your own, there are always going to be some things you can't control in life, but for the most part life is what you make of it!! I really think you should be part of those things that you said you would regret not doing, you said it yourself, you will regret it!! You are so young, there is a whole big world out there waiting for you, like I said, nothing lasts forever.. And - please go see somebody, take care of yourself, if you don't, no one else will! You sound depressed. It is really not so bad to have to and see a shrink or psychologist!! You might feel a lot better afterwards.. Link to post Share on other sites
reasontosigh Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 Not going to the prom is one thing. I didn't go to either of mine - I always thought proms were overrated anyway, and back in my day the music consisted of the "Saturday Night Fever" soundtrack - played over and over! I'd reconsider attending graduation, however, if you still can. I agree with the others about seeking help. Moi's right - the signs of depression are definitely there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Miss lil Amie Posted May 24, 2004 Author Share Posted May 24, 2004 Thanks for everyones replies! The last day of school was friday, no matter what I'm not allowed to go to graduation now..it's too late..but I don't want to so I'm not upset about that! When I tried to kill myself nobody knew about it. It's almost like when I did it I didn't exist to the world..I did it not realizing what I was doing..then the next day I realized what I did..people have asked me about the marks on my wrist but I always say my sister did it when we were fighting..but I so badly just want to start crying and tell them what really happened...it's like I'm holding a secret and lying to everyone..I'm a real honest person and I don't like making up stuff like that..but if I open up my mouth I'll be put in the loniebin..sp? I have nobody to talk to Link to post Share on other sites
dudesomewhere Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 I never did any of that stuff in high school...no prom, no events...I never wanted to and never missed or regret. The only thing I went to was graduation because I felt I had to , I hated it, lol. The only thing I had second thoughts on, never regrets but just second thoughts on was that some people said there was this girl or girls who waited for me to ask them. Which sucked...only because people knew I wasn't into that stuff...why wait on a guy who isn't into that junk? bah, got to me is all edit: someone should enable PMing...ahem...original poster Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 ..but if I open up my mouth I'll be put in the loniebin..sp? No you won't. At all. Absolutely talk to someone - your doctor, your minister, your parents, somebody. Or look up your local teen crisis line. And read the http://www.metanoia.org website. Link to post Share on other sites
dudesomewhere Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 here you go, keeping it as short as I can...someone I care about experiences this and it pains me greatly to talk about, so I'll mention topics I'm reading about borderline personality disorder bi-polar disorder But please don't take the things I mention as what may be what you are going through...I am only doing what I can to find "answers" myself. There are people out there who do understand or willing to try. These things are nothing to be ashamed. Just in case, I am someone who will listen. But I can only listen and can't give you any fixes. Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 The urge to cut yourself may well be linked to that lack of control you said you feel. It's just lately things have gotten so crazy You can learn new ways of coping with the craziness, you just need to ask, to seek help. It doesn't mean you are mad, we all need help sometimes. This is a time of big changes for you, it won't always be that way. Posting here was the first step, now you need to tell someone else. A counsellor at your school, maybe? Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyrical Z Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 Hiya Lil One, Firstly, cutting your self is a HUGE cry for attention... Please do not cut yourself... Rather use ur mind to gently ask why you are doing this to your self... U do not need self abuse from your self... Do u know who you are on the inside? This person is calling out to be acknowledged by you. Your post is titled "Lifeless" - this is the sign... Find something that you truly have passion for doing... Your reason for being granted this beautiful Life that you have been blessed with... What is your passion? Ask yourself, but ask urself silently and gently... In the recent times, I too have pulled away from my loved ones... They must understand why... If they don't, that is their issue to figure out... Time alone is a treasure... Time to the self, is something we all need... Spend as much time enjoying ur time with urself, finding urself, getting to know yourself... The answers u seek are not outside of u, they're inside of u... and it's a beautiful place that I hope u find soon... Here's something on "Control"... I too used to need to control every aspect of my life... We have control, and it is good to control to a certain extent - but we are only allowed a portion of total control... The rest we must allow to flow as it should... I get msgs in my dreams... Here's one I'll pass on to you: "LAY YOUR LIFE TO THE HANDS OF TIME"... allow what must be to be without your need to control it... I had another msg in dream which may help you... They told me that I try to seek answers too quickly and referenced it to a movie... They said: "It's like you seek the outcome to a movie before the movie has ended... Who wants to know the ending of a movie whilst they're only half through it and enjoying it unfold?... Just enjoy the movie! Let the surprise ending surprise u lovingly and gently"... Here's something on "Change" that I've worked out... Why is it that we need change? Eg: the seasons... Friendships & relationships that come and go.. Fashions, trends... Deaths and births? Why can't it just be one constant? Is change necessary? Answer::: The only constant is change. Nothing really IS - everything of Matter is Becoming or Changing. Every matter must go thru constant cycle of birth, growth, point of achievement, declination, death to rebirth. Things come and go due to Evolution (Life)... If things were a constant, were dormant, they would immediately fail to exist ie 'matter'... That's why things that matter matter - that is Life. Lil One, u are at a great point of change, which is Amazing... Stop cutting and hurting urself, but be greatful that Life is great and u r so brightly blessed... Just a thought which I hope may help you, Zaida. Link to post Share on other sites
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