Author Banlieue Posted October 30, 2011 Author Share Posted October 30, 2011 I read somewhere that 71% of men have been married by age 30 (and 16% of those have been divorced). So 55% (71-16) are married at 30 and 45% of men are not. But I'd guess a large percentage of the men not married at 30 are in serious relationships. Plus there are also the guys who only want to 'have fun' at that age, so I think that only leaves a small percentage of available, eligible men looking for a single relationship...doesn't sound good and probably explains why most of my male friends and colleagues are taken Link to post Share on other sites
laotzu Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vicki-larson/why-men-fear-marriage_b_1019408.html That would appear to be topical. As for the above: as I said, most men in their late twenties and early thirties who are (or recently were) single, had been in a least one very long relationship that wasn't marriage. Frankly, a few were just not-desirable and ended up getting an un-desirable mate at that late age, as well. Most men I know don't want to be single, but are also very selective. Then again, most men I know are highly educated, make very good money, and are looking for something similar. Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Seriously, I am more and more beliving that we live on different planets Zengirl... I am a frequent Con-goer and video game forum goer, and I run into only two types of guys: taken by fellow female nerds (being a female nerd no longer has the 'edge' it used to) or guys who are just looking for a casual thing. I've also done volunteering at museums and animal shelters, and the fellow volunteers are either retired folks, or other young single women! FTR, I'm not surprised on those volunteer organizations being that demo. Those wouldn't be the best places to find single, young, male volunteers. I have never met a man who volunteered at a museum either. (Not saying it's 0% but pretty rare, I'd guess.) As to the rest, I was not really suggesting there was some "edge" to being a female nerd, I guess. Just that plenty of those guys are not taken, mostly because they're often rather shy and not accustomed to asking out women who haven't been friends or given them clear signs of interest. SOME are taken, of course. But plenty are not. Or maybe we live on different planets, I don't know. But perhaps we live on different planets because you ARE a catch, and I am not so much (good job, decent personality, that's about it.) There was a recent poll put out that said something like 96% of men wanted to get married if they found the right girl... The article spun it as a positive ("Look how many men want to get married!") but-it isn't really. I mean, who WOULDN'T want to get married if they found someone perfect? I don't know if I consider the "right" person the same as looking for perfection. Who would want to get married to just anyone though? Aren't we all looking for the RIGHT guy/girl? And, FTR, while I am a catch, I'm still far from perfect. If I remember your pictures (which you're always saying are awful but many, many posters here agreed were VERY cute), I think you could be a great catch yourself, but no one else will ever believe that till you do. I can guarantee that! I read somewhere that 71% of men have been married by age 30 (and 16% of those have been divorced). So 55% (71-16) are married at 30 and 45% of men are not. But I'd guess a large percentage of the men not married at 30 are in serious relationships. Plus there are also the guys who only want to 'have fun' at that age, so I think that only leaves a small percentage of available, eligible men looking for a single relationship...doesn't sound good and probably explains why most of my male friends and colleagues are taken I think you're mixing up the top stat below. Here are some actual stats from the most recent census: *Over 70% of men and women aged 25-44 have ever been married: 71% of men and 79% of women. *The probability that men will marry by age 40 is 81%; for women, it is 86%. *A larger percentage of women than men aged 35-44 have married by age 35. That 71% is for ages 25-44, a much broader range than up to 30. I'd say the dating pool in late 30s/40s/beyond IS shrinking rapidly, sure, but fussing over it in your late 20s is just negative thinking that is probably bringing more negative experiences. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Banlieue Posted October 30, 2011 Author Share Posted October 30, 2011 I think you're mixing up the top stat below. Here are some actual stats from the most recent census: *Over 70% of men and women aged 25-44 have ever been married: 71% of men and 79% of women. *The probability that men will marry by age 40 is 81%; for women, it is 86%. *A larger percentage of women than men aged 35-44 have married by age 35. That 71% is for ages 25-44, a much broader range than up to 30. I'd say the dating pool in late 30s/40s/beyond IS shrinking rapidly, sure, but fussing over it in your late 20s is just negative thinking that is probably bringing more negative experiences. I don't think I mixed up anything, this is what the article said, these exact words (I copied and pasted it): 81 percent of women and 71 percent of men have been married by age 30 (and 16 percent of each have been divorced). Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I don't think I mixed up anything, this is what the article said, these exact words (I copied and pasted it): 81 percent of women and 71 percent of men have been married by age 30 (and 16 percent of each have been divorced). Those statistics don't match up with the latest census data, some of which I posted. So, the article was either old or wrong, I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
orangelady Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Well, considering that plenty of women DO meet men and get married in and after the age range you mention, statistically (especially educated women, as I said, and especially women of higher socio-economic status as well), I would say my experience is far from extraordinary. While the most commonly used statistical average of marriage may be slightly over 26 (women) and 28 (men) generally, the 25-29 range in all studies I've seen is extremely dense in general and the next range up 30-34 is only slight less dense. You don't really see much drop off at all until after 35 in the statistics. The single average age (mean or mode) doesn't tell you much without looking at the larger swath of data and considering all the different types of statistical averages. So, somewhere in the range of 25-34 (the exact dating range we're talking about!), there is a good chance of getting married. Also, statistics show that the older you are (with a notable change around 24-26---up until a certain age and without a first marriage; divorced people and much older people in the 45+ range tend to spend more time dating), the less time is spent dating before marriage, so as you get to the older years, people are meeting closer to those marriage dates. Thus, they are also more likely to be meeting in those age ranges. I would agree there are many romantically frustrated posters on LS, but that's perhaps a bias of the venue. ETA: Though many of those posters are also male. Their eligibility or desirability may vary, but so may the female posters for that matter. And that's all a matter of opinion, after all. I guess Zengirl could introduce some guys to you...but she is not revealing anything other than things we already know. hehe Link to post Share on other sites
Anna84 Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I'm close to being in my late 20ies and live in a big city. Since last month I've been single and have started painfully noticing how many people are in a long and stable reltionship of my age, and on the other with relief, how many young women my age have NEVER even been in a relationship. As I've never been single in my life and this is the first month that I am, being single is an issue of concern and brings in a lot of feelings of doubt. And it may sound dramatic as it's only been a month, but I worry that I'll never find love again if I compare myself to both other groups.. I've always had this goal of starting a family and now that isn't a certain prospect anymore.. what if I can't find the right partner (on time) to do it with? Oh.. I definately think these thoughts and worries are something which are inherent to the age and society we live in. I just wish I could get to the stage where I let it go, and start simply enjoying life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Banlieue Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 I guess Zengirl could introduce some guys to you...but she is not revealing anything other than things we already know. hehe what's your experience/view on this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Banlieue Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 on the subject I mean Link to post Share on other sites
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