Will this high school relationship last?

[crocodile]

There's me, a girl. And him, a guy. We're still in high school.

 

We've been good friends for a few years now. Best friends, actually. We have a very peculiar friendship... We never have small talk, our conversations are always very deep, often philosophical or scientific, and we often talk a lot about our future together. We do hold hands and hug each other often, and our favorite activities involve people-watching, debating, and pointing out each other's flaws (though in a joking manner, not maliciously at all). We both feel extremely comfortable with one another and with ourselves; I guess you could say we have amazing chemistry.

 

Before high school, neither of us had had any real relationships (as should be typical, though it has to be mentioned, what with all the ten year olds with boyfriends nowadays). Freshman year, we were kind of in a relationship, but it was never official. We took every single class together and everything. Many times people would ask if we were dating and I would quickly, nervously respond with "no", though we both were aware we liked each other. He brought this up one time and seemed offended by it.

 

Then summer came, and we drifted apart COMPLETELY. Sophomore year, I reverted to homeschooling for other reasons. We didn't see each other for a while, but did keep in touch. Halfway through sophomore year, we started talking online every day and hung out a little more. Both of us had changed quite a bit, both in terms of personality and in appearance, for the better. I think we were both actually physically attracted to each other at this point (whereas before it was mostly a personality thing).

 

By the end of the next summer, we had grown closer than ever, despite not seeing each other too much, and I decided that I would go back to regular schooling, both because homeschooling didn't work as well as I had hoped and because I wanted to be with him more.

Junior year (this year), we are in much of the same classes and see each other often. We eat lunch together with other friends every day and, well, our relationship is now steady and official. We genuinely enjoy being around one another and haven't had a single argument, aside from maybe one or two that lasted no more than a few days -- we "don't sweat the small stuff" and, relative to our peers, are surprisingly mature. We're stuck at the hip. (: Neither of us have directly said "I love you", but we do so indirectly. Often he talks excitedly about us living together as adults, having children, etc.

 

So... As of now, he is planning on going into the medical field. I am definitely going into astrophysics, as it is my heart's passion -- I even go up to NASA every day under several astronomy researchers and learn from them while they work (him accompanying me on occasion). As for college. We might be going to the same undergraduate university and living together, but afterwards, we will likely be very far away from one another.

I know that we are only Juniors, but this is something we will have to face in the coming years. Do you think it will work? Can people maintain a relationship while going to two different colleges, away a potentially large distance? He will probably finish his schooling earlier than me as I am planning on getting a PhD (he isn't thinking of it now, but may in the future). Once and if he does, we think we could move in together while he starts working/getting his career started, and while I finish schooling myself. Or vice versa.

 

Perhaps it is very, overly idealistic. But we are both willing to make it work. What do you think?

[doushenka]

I think it sounds like the plot of Michael Cera's next movie.

 

I also think that what you value at... sixteen? Seventeen? Will be different from what you value once you two have got out and lived a bit. This is what my band director and his wife did when they were your age: They acknowledged their feelings and then they went their separate ways, to become who they needed to become first. As it happened, life brought them back together, and they've been married at least twenty years.

 

So you go and become an astrophysicist. If you're really supposed to be together, then your plans won't collapse because you pursued your dreams. I did actually leave a guy because he wanted me to put mine on hold indefinitely--maybe I'm hard-hearted, maybe I'm overly pragmatic, but I know that I'm a person who deserves to live my life, and the right partner is the one that is willing to walk with me, not try to steer me.